Yeah that's right I was River. And boy howdy was it fun. Except for the wig; those really cheap plastic wigs are murder. But yeah on the whole I'm glad I finally got around to it after a couple years of near misses. (I'd had a general plan to be Mola Ram because I'd found a really wicked ripped-out heart, but I ditched that because I didn't want to shave my head.)

Reasons why I was River:

• Hallowe'en is all about the unspeakable evil... and what's more evil than girls?
• No Serenity 2 = last chance to be River
• I am wicked hot in eyeliner.

I couldn't pull off a real hunga munga, but I got a cheap-ass axe and a cheap-ass scythe at Shoppers Drug Mart and turned them into some decent double-handed edge weapons. The dress came from Valu Village, as did the wig, and I went commando under the whole deal because I didn't want a VPL. Coming up with an effective method for concealing my cock proved to be wayyyyyy too much of a hassle, so it was pretty much right there. This meant that basically, whenever someone rubbed against me in any particular way, River would develop a mighty tributary. It was also a bit hilarious when I would crouch down to nab food, but I think only a couple of people actually met my better half. Otherwise, all good. Skirts: so freeing. I loves me the drag.

The party was tons o' fun, and I'm really beginning to think that nobody does H-we'en better than 3QF. Brandy goes nuts with the decorations and the coloured lights, Chris and I set up a/v nerddoms in the living room (silent slasher flicks) and kitchen (Turkish Star Wars on an endless loop), and the music mix was particularly gratifying overall, co-authored by m'self and the B-diddy. A bit bassy on an improvised setup, so I doubt the neighbours are thanking us much right now, but otherwise fine.

As planned, Bex and I experimented upon a new drink concept, one designed to fit the times: the melancholy. Rather appropriately, it turned out to be a merely average drink, nothing special, because that is melancholy too. It consists of:

• 1 shot limoncello
• 1 shot melon liqueur
• club soda (because it's so boring)
• lime.

And the result is a drink that is truly depressing and boring, and yet the most appealing shade of green. Well done. I got sauced on 'em, after I was already sauced on everything else. So much so, in fact, that when Jason arrived, with a Chewbacca mask on, I actually screamed like the devil himself had come to collect my soul. It was innate and frankly, I'm still a little shaken by the moment. Powerful.

Later in the evening, Bex, Stevebex and I used this page to prove that anything Letterman says is funny if you conclude it with "Hey!" Also there's a pretty kickass Dave Chappelle page from Half Baked where pretty much the same rule applies except concluding every phrase with "Pussy." And the Venkman one is not to be missed. (Best end line: "Well then maybe my theory is correct!!")

As usual the party ended while I was somewhere else, but there's something nice about coming down the stairs and seeing the sheer wreckage you've created - both in terms of physical destruction to the home, and psychological destruction to the roomies. Tomorrow's for cleaning, and (as usual with these binge-fests) the hungover soccer. Now's for the spinning further into pleasant oblivion.

Hey! Pussy.