My bike just got stolen. Someone actually ripped the porch railing clean off to get it. Left the other bike; took mine. To that person: thank you very much for stealing my bike. Thank you for doing it when I have no job, no girlfriend, and less than $80 to my name, and my life is generally about as hateful as it's ever been. Thank you for making the waking nightmare just one degree more unbearable, as I'm sure was your clearly thought out intention. I sincerely hope you're dead right now.