I have to take the freebies where I can get them these days, on account of having no money to pay for anything. Free movies, free parties with free drinks, free food. Free food is especially fun, like three separate "free sushi" incidents in under a week, or going all the way downtown just to eat a meat that can't be directly identified or even particularly guessed at. I'm noticing a distinct creative advantage to not knowing exactly how things are going to end up all of the time, and having to take what you're given whether you want it or not. Whereas people with money are masters of their own fate and get to choose exactly what they're going to do at pretty much any given moment, I've been cast to the winds of chance and the result is stimulating, because I get a lot more unpredictability for my lack-of-buck. And having someone else pilot the space ship is more relaxing than always having to decide on every little thing.

So: Amy sends me a pass to see The Dark Hours at the Paramount at ten, and the decision is a brisk one because it's either that or do nothing. (Being broke makes you jump at any little chance of being entertained.) And not paying for a flick always has distinct advantages, because any monetary obligation to cut the film even the smallest amount of slack is completely removed. So when a "The Canadian Feature Film Project Presents" card rises up at the head of the film, and between that and the music I know exactly what I'm in for, it really just becomes a question of exactly when I'm going to go clomping down those stairs, shaking my head at the utter failure of the entire Canadian film industry and all the people in it. About six title cards later I realize that the cousin of an ex-girlfriend of mine is in the flick; about ten minutes after that, I've satisfied my urge to see what she looks like on the big screen (she looks bigger), and out we go.

Honestly, this country is in serious fucking trouble. The granting agencies are a joke. The feature films that we are meant to stand behind (this evening's show was thrown by some kind of members-only "get Canadian content on 5% of our screens" club) are literally embarassing - you would never stand up and say "this is what my country is about." The wankers at the CFC have ridden the entire concept of the Feature Film Project into the ground on nothing more than their own greed and utter inability to distinguish a good project from a bad one. It's one thing to sell out your own mission statement, but for fuck's sake, sell out effectively.

Still, I find stuff like this relatively inspiring. I'm just a broke loser with nothing better to do on a Thursday night than go to see a free piece of Canadian shit, but it's always nice to be reminded that there's no reason to give up yet. There's nowhere to go but up, and if the CFC's in this much trouble, then it's still any man's game - there's a place for me out there, if I can just angle a way to get to it.