Meal #1:

• Brie, Cambonzola, Stilton, Port Salut, and a couple of other cheeses whose names I can't even remember
• Garlic eggplant
• Oysters with french bread, red sauce, and lemon
• Cheetsa (which I flew solo this year, for the first time, after a practice run last Valentine's Day)
• Spitsa
• Caviar
• Smoked salmon with onions and capers
• Shrimp in red sauce
• Bread and crackers
• Marinated peppers
• Wine, Guinness, and little bottled waters

And I'm told there's desert now. And Dylan Thomas and Pass the Mojo and watching my father buzz about like a hummingbird, now that he has fundamentally lost the ability to sit still for more than a nanosecond. And my brother has made a Christmas album with his friend Jeremy, which we've all been listening to all day. The cover of "Little Drummer Boy" is not to be missed.

And then for the lying about and going "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh."