Everything in the film is So Very Serious, with Howard and his crew treating the material with the grave approbation usually reserved for holocaust dramas. The result - like holocaust dramas - is one stunningly unentertaining movie. There's no fun to be had in The Da Vinci Code. A gigantic, elaborate intrigue sprawled across half of Europe, involving CSI-like armchair investigations into the complete thread of Western human history... and it's boring.

Click here to read my review.

Man, that one was a real son of a bitch. Three complete, start-from-scratch drafts and I still feel like I only got to about 75% of the mark. Still, I'm tired of thinking about this shit, so I'm done. Gotta get all warmed up to excoriate X3. (Biased? Never.)