At this point I'm pretty much saying that I've gotta wear my outdoor hat every time I play soccer. Any time I wear it, we win. Tonight we played a double-header... and won a double shutout. A DOUBLE FUCKING SHUTOUT! A 7-0 win and a 6-0 win! I scored a goal in the second game that wasn't technically supposed to be a goal, I was mostly just passing to Tina... but then it was a goal. So I'll take it.

At the bar afterwards Demetre, Steve, Chris and I roughed out the rest of the Snakes on a Plane franchise. Goes like this:

First you have Snakes on a Plane. It does monster business and they want a sequel so they decide to go with Bears on a Plane.

The bears work great because they're fucking enormous and cause much plane-related destruction. But the fans really miss the original "snakes" conceit, so the third film goes back to basics, but with a new twist, by giving us Snakes on the Batmobile. It's two hours of Christian Bale in the full bat suit flailing his arms about trying to beat on snakes in the Batmobile while simultaneously maintaining control of the vehicle.

At the very end of the film he finally kills the last snake and rolls into the Batcave. He pops the hatch... and the camera tracks outward to reveal that the Batmobile is surrounded by bears. Thus setting up the fourth and final (?) film in the franchise, Batman Be Bears. Actually maybe they never even make the fourth film, they just leave it as a big fucking TO BE CONTINUED, BITCHES!!! to fuck with cinema-goers for the rest of time.

All right!