"...as plate after plate of fluffy poached eggs, cartilaginous peameal, and lakes of sunshiney goo continued to pile up over time, I realized that if I don't start catalogueing these excursions in some formal manner, a great field of human knowledge would be lost. Hence, the Benedict Chronicles..."

I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday night, I was nackered, and Matty Price and I were looking for a place to eat before the Midnight movie... and arrived at Yonge Street to find almost no options. It was raining outside. Frankz was closed, Popeye's was closed, so we ended up at the Pickle Barrel and, admittedly against my better judgment, I ordered the benny for the sake of the column. And just look at that thing. That is the saddest eggs benedict I have ever fucking seen.

To be absolutely fair: we snuck into the restaurant 15 minutes before the kitchen closed, so this might not be their best effort.

But this benny is a disgrace! Undercooked eggs and ham and english muffin - wait a minute, that's undercooked everything - and lumpy hollandaise. Oh, and the presentation looks like a three year old did it. The latkes that come with the benny weren't bad, but the whole thing cost $8.95, which is way, way too much for product this poor. And that fruit? Don't even get me started on the fruit.

One egg out of four, and that egg is given grudgingly.

The Pickle Barrel is located just north of Yonge and Dundas in Toronto. On weeknights, the kitchen closes at 11. The Benedict Chronicles is an ongoing, non-regular series.