Last night, Rogers shut off 3QF's cable, PVR access, internet, and landline phone... just because. I then spent an hour and a half on my cell phone this morning (burning my entire month's worth of airtime, and it's not even noon on the first day of March) to get them to turn everything back on. I was hung up on twice. I spoke to nine different agents. I was over an hour late for work. By the end of my various conversations with this parade of Rogers call centre staff, I was a remark away from uttering actual death threats which would of course have been recorded to ensure call quality. Fortunately, I withheld.

As it turns out the entire affair was a parting gift from the aforementioned departing downstairs neighbours, who when setting up their Rogers service six months ago for their "temporary" residency at 3QF, pretended to be me. Then when they left, they continued to pretend to be me, and told Rogers to shut everything off.

You would think that given that Rogers was literally completely disconnecting 3QF from the World At Large - no phone, no internet, no provision for smoke signals - they might have troubled to make a follow-up call to the actual phone number attached to the account (i.e. mine) to verify whether I did, in fact, want my household to be returned to the gorramned stone age. But if the last five years have taught me anything, it's that a simple phone call is well beyond the pale of any telecommunications company.

"If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart." - Ra's Al-Ghul