What is it that makes a person look like the person that they are? And is it possible that we all have slightly-varied clones of ourselves wandering around out there for little seeming purpose other than to disturb the minds of those who know us? Last night I saw someone who looked uncannily like someone I used to know, except that it was her perfected - slightly better fashion sense, slightly better hair, slightly better skin tone, slightly better overall body shape. It was goddamned alarming. It reminded me of when I tagged Keira Knightley as the Natalie Portman Improvement, a second draft of the original which had removed all of the flaws. (I no longer feel that way.) But if this has now been visually demonstrated to me on two unrelated occasions, then the real question is: where is the Matt Brown Improvement? Because there has got to be a dude wandering around out there who is everything I am hoping to see in the mirror every time I look into it, the me without all of the tiny little things that are less ideal than what I would want them to be. And if I ever met my perfected self, what would I do? What would I do?

OK, switch tracks: I got my Wolverine on last night. It is fucking hilarious. It's my way of reinforcing to the world that I'm out. People stare at me like I'm some kind of desperate Rasputin character. I really should have a sword on my person at all times when I've styled my face this way. Adam may take a Polaroid of it tomorrow. If he does then I will take a digital picture of that Polaroid and then resize that digital picture and post it to the blog. Analogue is so fucking complicated.

Teen Girl Squad smokes up every single day. I'm beginning to be really, really impressed with Teen Girl Squad. Half of me wants to go down there and join in but then what am I? I'm the far-out old man with mutton chops and an unperfected visual presence, sitting in the corner trying to keep up with the puppies. And that is just nervousmaking.