BY ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE READ BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. Now, for dollars or points, let's see if you can guess the identity of my favourite new Slayerette:

• The one with the Russian accent
• The one with the Scottish accent
• The one who doesn't talk
• The punky one in the green shirt with Molly's hat and the "rude girl" button

Ding, tell them what they've won Paul. Today was the first time I've ever seen an actual line of people outside the Silver Snail before opening. I had my physical this aft and blood tests and such, so I took the day off work, which lined up nicely with the buying of Buffy and also Cap and the aforementioned Hutt. Man, though, DH better get their shit together in time for Buffy issue 2. I work in fucking Scarborough.

Outcome of physical: I need to lose some weight. I already knew that. I'm about 15 pounds heavier than I was last year and I'd say probably 30 pounds heavier than what I'd like to be. I'm starting up with the exercise and the giving up of sandwiches. Although admittedly at 2:30 I stumbled out of the Uptown health centre blood-drunk and lusty and went to get some damn eggs benedict, because that's become my annual post-blood-draw tradition and I'll be damned if I'm giving it up, 30 pounds or no. But overall I'm optimistic, nay even excited, about increasing my exercise level in daily life and eating better generally. I shall use it as a tool to sharpen the mind to a razor-honed point! All the better for stabbing.

I'm actually looking forward to Lost tonight, for the first time since before the hiatus. They'd better pull off the Locke thing, though, cuz otherwise I'm calling it: this is the worst season by far. I understand what they're trying to do, but the writers have only succeeded in fragmenting the narrative to such a degree that there's almost no coherence to the story tension at all. It's like they took everything I complained about last season - too many characters, not enough focus on the core crew - and decided to make it worse by not just having characters underused in single episodes, but in fact not used at all for three or four episode stretches at a time. I mean, I'm as much as a Claire (hot) fan as the next guy (so hot), but last week's episode was utterly pointless. If this is a season about the Others, then tell me the fucking stories about the Others. Do a whole season with nothing but Jack, Kate and Sawyer as prisoners of the Others. That's a fucking season. That's a fucking risk, too, and a worthy one. But this constant darting back and forth between five or six ongoing storylines is just getting irritating. Honestly: kill Charlie already, nobody cares about this Cassandra shit Desmond is pulling. Have Jin go nuts and rip Sun's head clean off. Why not? What possible use will either of those characters have in the remainder of the series? Don't tell me Lost comes down to Charlie and Jin building some kind of space shuttle that gets them off the island. They'll have nothing to do with the eventual climax, and we all know it. Let the day players go, and let's get down to the real meat of the tale.

Finalement: last night Christ turned in the fourth draft of the script for Portrait of a Young Artist In My Bed, and I am satisfied. In point of fact, I laughed myself sick throughout reading it. So... yeah. Guess I gotta go make that thing now.