Oh, sick. Don't know what happened but at around 2:00 my insides went all gooey. Right in the middle of a coffee. Something bad for lunch? Reaction to the weather changing? Unclaimed properties of a valuable nature? Dunno. Sucks too because I was supposed to go to the Amp'd party tonight and now I ain't gonna cuz I can't get off the couch. Kardinall Offishall was playing, and how often do I get exposed to that? Like never. Is it possible I have malaria? That'd be something.

Meanwhile, I am going to British fucking Columbia on April 2. I'm looking forward to it but I'm also sorta nervous. I am thirty damn years old and I have never flown anywhere alone EVER. Actually that's not the part that's making me nervous, it's the everything else, including the Obi-Wan Kenobi mojo I gotta pull on one of my co-workers when I get there. But it'll be nice to see my other-side-of-the-country friends, especially since I've never been west of Windsor. And I hear that it's always, always, always sunny and warm in Vancouver. Always. I shall bring my sun hat and my sun shoes and my sun dildo.

It's possible that the girls downstairs are Garbage Witches. They put regular garbage out when it's recycling day and it gets picked up anyway! How the fuck does that work if they aren't witches? Let's try to assess relatable competencies: if you were a Garbage Witch, what else could you do? Should I be worried? Can Garbage Witches hex a dude with malaria, even if said dude is in the office in Scarborough at the time, to make him miss his party? Is that a thing Garbage Witches can do? Needs thinkin' about.