Nature's stool softener
Ah, water. I was already all into water, but now I drink water pretty much exclusively. Well, water and coffee, but never together. Ewww! Yeah anyways this is something I should have done a long time ago but dropping pop and juice out of my diet has already had fairly spectacular results. I actually went down (up?) a belt notch - whichever the thinner one is, that's where I live now.
Last night I was flipping channels after Heroes (ick!) and I came upon an episode of the third season of Slings & Arrows. I fuckin' love that show and it's a mark at just how spectacularly bad the Canadian television industry is at promoting itself that I had no idea there even was a third season. Shitheads. It's the Sarah Polley season! (All Canadian television programs are required, by law, to have a Sarah Polley season. Just like all indie Canadian films are required to cast Callum Keith Rennie.) Anyways the season's coming out on DVD in July so I'll finally get to get caught up on my Lear. Actually I might have a Lear summer - see it at Stratford, burn through my Ran DVD, and watch Slings & Arrows. Daughters, man. Useless!
I've been meaning to comment on the collapse of Premiere magazine, if only because the mag had a small space in my pre-film school education (the Iron Jim article back in '94, about Cameron on the set of True Lies, was near-biblical for me, though that led to problems later on). God knows their writing went into the ground in the tail end of the '90s, but for a few years there, Premiere was a terrific little oversize magazine. As with all things, I worry about what happens to the art form when responsible criticism on even this relative scale (Premiere ain't Les Cahiers du Cinema, folks) can't cut it. One of these days Ebert's gonna up and die on us, and then what are we gonna do?
Meanwhile, we finally have the answer to what the Simpsons movie is going to bring to the table that you couldn't get on the TV show: Bart Simpson's penis. My money's on circumcised. How about you?
I've been knocking this script idea called Glow around in my head for some time now; I think I've mentioned it before. It's based on a first draft of a ghost story I wrote about a girl who appears in an old black and white photo at my cottage, who no one can put a name to. I've tried launching the script a few times before with no success; something just ain't there yet. But I feel like all the pieces have been revolving around in my head lately and sooner or later they'll click into place. I want to be writing again. (Er, something that isn't a comic book.)
It's my parents anniversary today - thirty-five [expletive deleted] years! Man, that snuck up on me. Which is my way of saying "no gift."
Comments
I feel like circumcized is the way to go, mostly because I think Hibbert would be a supporter of the cut wang and he delivered the boy. Also, with all of the lack of representation I think people may be confused to see an animated wang in all of it's shrouded foreskin-y glory.
We should start playing this game with non-animated people! Tobey McGuire? Cut? Uncut?
Posted by: Bex | April 24, 2007 2:25 PM
I went with circumcised for Bart because I figure he's an American boy and the unnecessary circumcision rate down there is at like 90% or something like that. But bringing up Hibbert actually gives me the opposite thought: maybe Julius would stand up for the foreskin? He's not one to perform an unnecessary procedure. Maybe there's a higher-than-average percentage of uncut youth in Springfield? I can see Martin being cut, but not Milhouse and probably not Ralph.
Tobey Maguire: cut. Very, very cut.
Matthew Fox?
Posted by: tederick | April 24, 2007 2:31 PM
And what exactly, may I ask you, is wrong with writing a comic book?!? It's not REAL writing? It's not serious enough for you?
I'm hurt.
In the soul.
(90% done my part of ish 3 btw...now all I gotta do is type it.)
Posted by: King Mob | April 24, 2007 3:19 PM
I just picture Hibbert chuckling comfortingly as he alters a wang. I feel like he's big on aesthtics. I can see Marge using the cleanliness issue and him buying into that. I'd say Nelson and Jimbo not cut, Dolph cut.
Thinking about Mathew Fox's wang got me all nipply. I kind of think cut, but I don't know! Are there some kind of guidelines out there to tell?
Posted by: Bex | April 24, 2007 4:37 PM
There aren't any guidelines out there, I just like to think that I can tell by looking at a guy.
Matthew Fox, presuming cut although uncut would be a pleasant surprise.
Nelson and Jimbo definitely uncut, Dolph I would say is also uncut, Kearney however is clearly cut.
Josh Holloway: uncut. There ain't nobody messing with that guy.
Johnny Depp: uncut?
Posted by: tederick | April 24, 2007 5:08 PM
Also: strange that we're limiting our Springfield meditations to just the kids?
Homer: that motherfucker is CUT.
Moe: uncut.
Flanders: probably uncut because even if it was medically advised, he would still not want to be associated with "those people." Then he looks over in the First Church men's room one day and is STUNNED to see that Reverend Lovejoy is uncut. It shakes Flanders' entire existence! He begins to wonder if he should have Rod and Todd (currently uncut) cut.
Meanwhile: how about that Patrick Fugit fucker? I bet he's uncut. And LONG.
Posted by: tederick | April 24, 2007 5:13 PM
Krusty's cut. :o)
Patrick Fugit! Where did that come from? Yeah, uncut. How's about Sean Biggerstaff?
Posted by: Bex | April 24, 2007 6:34 PM
I was trying to think of boys you like.
Biggerstaff would SEEM uncut. But no: he's cut.
Posted by: tederick | April 24, 2007 6:39 PM
I love that you seem so authoritative... and I appreciate your choice of boys I like.
Ooooo here's the money question: Daniel Radcliffe? You could probably actually look that up. I think he's cut, and Rupert is uncut. And they compared wangs during the first shooting and learned all about "difference".
Posted by: Bex | April 24, 2007 11:21 PM
Yeah I was wondering if we could actually Google us up some blurry cell phone images of Dan Radcliffe in the altogether, taken from the back of the theatre. I would presume he is uncut and so is Rupert. And I'm not on board with them having a comparison party at any point; it doesn't seem like their style.
Posted by: tederick | April 25, 2007 8:35 AM