Matthew Fabb, I am calling you out!!! HOW DID YOU CALL ETHAN RAYNE??? I will wield you, sooth-sayer, like a knight wields a sword. YOUR POWER BELONGS TO ME NOW: predict my glorious future! I'll give you a hint: girls, girls girls!!!

At first I thought Buffy was the weakest of the three count 'em THREE Whedon titles at the comic book store this week (but that's "weak" only by way of "the other two are even awesomer"). Having now read Long Way part 3 twice more on the subway this morning, I can no longer make firm picks. All three Joss titles - Buffy, Astonishing, and Runaways - were pretty much on the top of the art form this week. So it's only fair that we cover all three. Superlatives ahoy!

Molly and her Runaways
Anyone else notice that Molly is now apparently the headliner of Runaways, at least as far as the opening intro text is concerned? Then again, she's the cover girl this month so maybe it's all just a coinky. Nevertheless, this issue owns serious balls. It's funny, a couple of months ago Michael was saying that he'd peeped issue 25 and found it sorely lacking... I must now assume that he was either reading the wrong issue, or was reading the issue under the influence of crack. It's terrible to say it, but Whedon is already playing at the BKV level with this arc, and looks primed to overtake, what with the big, Next-Gen-Season-Five cliffhanger at the end of this issue. This issue was, in all respects, perfect. Whedon nailed the group dynamic, nailed the Molly gag regarding Chase's survival, nailed the use of the all-too-human Punisher, nailed the big reveal in the final panel. This is about as good as a Runaways issue has ever been, and if it weren't for the fact that Whedon's run is still listed under "temporary," I'd be willing to concede that this title will remain at the top of my pull list for the foreseeable ever.

Armor and the X-Men
I am not a multiple-covers guy. When they do variant covers of something, I pick the one I like the best and I buy it, even if the other one has, say, Scott Summers on it. (I loves me some Scott.) This week, however, I bought both Astonishing covers. Why? Because they are the two best covers this title has ever had. Emma's on one, Armor's on the other, and I'm not fucking choosing. I want them poster-size for my wall. And after staring at it the Armor cover for a solid five minutes, I cracked the issue... and ended up staring at the first page for another five minutes. Five whole minutes staring at Wolverine, Armor, and the speeder bikes. That is the height of the Cassaday art form, my friends. That is as gorgeous as anything I've ever seen. In fact, between the three Joss titles this week, I noticed something rather uncanny - this guy has the prettiest comics in the biz. These three, right here, are the prettiest. They are exactly what I respond to in terms of art and colour. Which means exactly one thing: Joss sure knows how to pick 'em. Knows how to write 'em, too: this issue breaks apart into a number of two-handers, and every single one of them is among the best character writing I've ever read. (Boy, I'm much with the grandiloquence today, huh? It would be irritating if it weren't so frickin' earned.) And naked Kitty is hot.

Meanwhile, in the Buffyverse...
Like I said, it took me a few reads to really "get" this issue. There's a lot going on, a lot of big plot stuff and not as much hidden mystery stuff (at least, not on the surface), and one hell of a reveal on the last page. [spoiler warning!] WARREN. If HTML letters could tremble, those six would be trembling right now. Because man howdy, do I hate Warren. Not in the "I hate that character, they shouldn't have used him" way, but rather the "I hate that character, and if he were a real person I would actually murder him." Should fictional characters be able to stir antipathy that manifests as intense physical discomfort? This one does.

Best line in the history of comics, at least this week
"F%$#ing fum." Followed closely by Chase's "I totally want that on my tombstone."

Buffy dreams of Joss and slayers read Fray
That's one nudge-wink too many. Settle down, kitten.

Buffy also dreams of hot, vampire-in-every-hole group sex
Oh come on, who doesn't?

The indescribable Rosenberg
Thought I didn't care about the Return of the Will... wrong! Love that shit! Georges Jeanty hath once again naileth the character art, while Joss again proves that his knack for these characters' voices borders on the uncanny - you can actually hear Alyson Hannigan in every single Will-line.

I do not care who is in love with Buffy
Fine. It's a Slayer, a poor little Slayer who will just have to deal with that she is in love with her hetero-überslayer. Fine. But romantic love seems very much to be in the subtext in the gutters in this issue - starting with Ethan's little tease, and leading to the Spufangel three-way, the scene with Renee, the deets on Kennedy, the multiple "it's been a slow year" references, and then that enchantment-unbinding kiss. Everyone claims to be missing sex... but clearly, they're missing the other thing.

You're going into your cave
Joss' knack for investing the mythic and the Jungian into the subtexts of the trans-mundane remains unchecked. Lines like "Now why does this remind me of a cavern?"; "Cage, crossbeams, like X's"; "We've gone too far back"; "I'm more an antique Roman than a Dane"... we're stirring a pretty hefty pot here, but hell if I know where it's all going. I'm not feeling very code-breaky today. And can someone tell me why there's a dead Gamorrean guard in Amy's cage?

To the end of the world
In the letter column, Scott Allie confirms that he and Joss are now targeting at least 40-50 issues, largely because every time Whedon writes anything, he thinks up six more things he wants to explore. I'm all for it - all for using the medium to really scrub the cracks out of the Buffyverse in a way that just wasn't possible on a weekly television series. Do it, go everywhere, do everything. I've got an idea for a 3-issue Fray arc that would fit perfectly within the continuity of this story - it's all possible now. Anything is possible. Use it!