Also, and yes I know that I've been called up on to question this previously on the blog but once more With Feeling, how much fucking weight have I lost??? This is a major downside to not owning a scale. But here's how it went: About five months ago I went to buy jeans. I bought a 38 waist, as I have done every time I've bought jeans in the past, say, five years. When buying them, though, they were fairly tight on me, so I was like "I'm either going to have to go up to a 40, or lose weight."

Today I fit into a 34 like a fucking glove. I apparently skipped 36 altogether and dropped 2 sizes without noticing.

If this sounds like gloating, I assure you it's not, it's balls-out stunned shock. Do I have a tapeworm? Is the stress destroying my once-fine physique? Have I become a leaner, harder man ruined by a world of sharp corners and dark alleys? Sweet googly pantsalot, how much me do I lose before I stop being me at all???

While we're on the subject, this week was the first time I was haphazard with my tattoo and its attendant scarring. In other words, I treated my left forearm like normal skin for the first time in the past three weeks, and it reacted accordingly. It's just part of the story now. Sweet.