I use the blog to organize my life and make it coherent. I write only to myself. Sometimes this is very direct and overt, like during TIFF, when the blog basically kept me alive - I could all the bits of chaos coming at me every second, and file them down to sensible (well, to me) chunks of narrative that could be uploaded, processed, safely databased and left for everyone else to see. Out of my head, into the green world. My journal functions entirely differently; the journal is history, while the blog is narrative. The blog is the screenplay of my life, one lousy bit of dialogue at a time. (I suck at writing dialogue.) And the only downside to organizing your life via a Movable Type database that can be sorted, searched, and easily referenced, is the uncanny ability to turn it into a map of all the patterns and dates, all the hopelessly myriad connections that do not exist in life, only in art. The boundary line is a scary thing - when does this stop being, say, a pair of Mickey Mouse boxer shorts that five hot girls bought me when I turned 16, and when does it attain the quasi-mystical status of a garment that I should have thrown away long ago, that still (miraculously) fits, that still pops out of the bottom of my underwear drawer with alarming regularity every two or three years but only at the exact right moment, to prove that it still has an eerie, effective quantity of whatever fairy dust made it what it was when I went to semi-formals with Mark back in grade 11. When the legend becomes fact, blog the legend - and try not to get caught out for all the simple, stupid ways every thing you say and do can seem only pale shadows of what was there in the first place. This silly, horrible world and all the beautiful things in it. Like the storm finally easing, like the best four months of my life, like the beginning of the next thing overtaking the ashes of the last. I notice. I can't help it. Up is down, dusk is dawn, there's a green flash on the horizon.

"There's just something about the 23rd of September." - me

"But you can't stop the change. Any more than you can stop the suns from setting." - Shmi Skywalker

"I'm going to bed, before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled." - Hermione Granger