Whoa. Where the fuck have I been? A three day absence - unheard of. I swear if you told me that I put my head down on my desk at around 2:30 on Friday and then woke up here this morning at 8:00 having dreamed the entire weekend, I would believe you, and not just because I fell asleep watching The Matrix last night after eating Jessi's magic muffins. I've been having anime dreams. I spent most of Saturday in a cottony haze having taken way too many painkillers in a nearly-vain effort to knock down a headache; I am now wondering exactly whose leg I have to hump to get some liquid morphine that I can carry around in my bag because honestly - this thing is no longer a skirmish. A full-on rage riot twixt body and mind with soul standing referee, and it all ends up looking like this: four thousand idiots crushing each other to get at a stack of cardboard tubes. What ever happened to defending peace and justice? Seriously.

In my dreams I'm the Sentry on Liberty Island, looking at the storm; and then I'm a girl on the edge of the desert with half a million bucks' worth of cybernetic enhancements in my body, waiting for my ride. I believe in instinct, I believe in a certain brand of destiny. I no longer believe in endings, just the grim and occasionally comforting fact that we will always be connected, and that nothing can ever be circumvented, only overcome. If you're not at the head of this ride, you're dust consigned to tow helplessly in the wake. And so yeah: the weekend was too short, and entirely too much, and there's a lot more to do before the next one which will, thankfully, be proportionately longer. But for all this and the inexpressible million other things, I feel like I'm getting closer.

"So I am troubled, having to do un-bearlike deeds and speculate and doubt like a human." - Iorek Byrnison