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I am officially the world's whiniest fanboy.

Here's what I don't like.

Would you - yes you, reader - be wearing the exact same thing twenty years from now that you're wearing right now?

Even if you had a special outfit that was expressly "for raiding lost arks, liberating temples of doom, going on last crusades, and visiting kingdoms of crystal skulls" that you thought was pretty damn nifty, would it really go totally unmodified in the decades betwixt your thirties and your sixties? I mean, not even a little scarf or something? Exactly how many pairs of those particular slacks did Indy buy that day at Macy's? Because you know he had to have got through a few in his time. Fuck, the tank chase in Crusade would level any pair of pants I own to such an extent that I would have ended up hitting the bevvy with the Grail Knight wearing nothing but my boxers.

Yeah, yeah, I know. If they'd changed one molecule of fibre on the entire outfit the fan community would have marched on Washington. (Which is weird, because the filmmakers were in California.) But something about this just makes me feel like they feel it's really important to remind us who we're looking at, particularly in this picture with Shia: "See? It's Indiana Jones! Still the same old guy! Except now he's actually an old guy. But otherwise he's the same." Surely to fuck, Indy did not have a day in 1934 where he looked at himself in the mirror and said "yeah, this is what I'm going to wear for the rest of my life." I can accept the hat and even the jacket, but he woulda changed the shirt by now.

Points against Indy IV: 6
Points for Indy IV: 4

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