SPIDER-MAN 3 IS THE BEST BAD MOVIE EVER MADE. I mean oh my god, Internet. This is a miracle of spectacular awfulness! This is the crowning kingpin of "so bad it's good!" It's REALLY good! It's so artistically coherent in its fundamental pursuit of complete and irrevocable awfulness that it is among the highest achievements in the art form of human creation that has ever been undertaken! HOLY GOD I MUST OWN THIS MOVIE ON BLU RAY DVD SO THAT I MAY WATCH IT REPEATEDLY AD NAUSEUM WITH EVER WIDENING CIRCLES OF DRUNKENED FRIENDS AND ALSO THE USE OF DRUGS WOULD BE GOOD!!! I mean you have no idea how superior picture quality and sound improve your experience of the moment where Peter Parker comes out of the clothing store and starts doing some blaxploitation strut, live in the streets! Or later when he begs Harry to team up with him in his fight against evil AND HARRY DOES IT!! Or like how everyone in the movie gives great advice - like Dylan Baker saying "don't get any of that stuff on your skin" or the crazy old Eastern European dude giving Peter advice about girls! OR WHEN THE BUTLER SHOWS UP! And also: YES! Oh I am very, very impressed. If you have the means I highly recommend getting a blu-ray player and getting drunk and getting Spider-Man 3, maybe not in that order but in something like that order and FUCKING ENJOY, INTERNET. The God Raimi made this for your pleasure. Why do you mock the God Raimi? You are mere bitchhumans in the glow of his superior awesomeness. Only the God Raimi would see Superman 3 and declare unto the world, "we can do better." And he did. Oh sweet glorious creation, he did.

Do not mock the God Raimi. He has blessed us with his many potent gifts.