How the fuck ya doin', Internet. Apparently I feel the need to greet the entire cybercommunity every time I start a blog post now.

Recappin', Coles Notes style!:

On Christmas Eve, me and Bo and Adam went to Best Buy and I bought a TV. A fucking terrific TV, thankyouverymuch, a TV so large and lovely that my eyes actually started to water when Elizabeth met up with Tai Huang in the Singapore harbour. I gotta say, I enjoy impulse buying super expensive high-end electronics. It suits my temperament to walk into a store, point at a TV, let the Best Buy employees fight it out for five minutes about whether or not I actually want it, and then roll it on out to the car. Research is for wusses and their mothers.

Christmas at 108 was the usual deal-ie-o. Among other things my sister got me a game for the Wii called Trauma Center - the surgery game! So I spent a lot of Christmas Day trying to save the life of a guy who got brought into the E.R. with a gunshot wound to the chest (Dick Cheney shot him), but I only managed to get all the way through surgery when my brother tag-teamed in and helped me out. There's a lesson in that! I admit my medical knowledge is crude but I find it faintly hilarious that the realism of the game should be so shoddy, like how you can heal cuts with antibiotic gel. It's amusing that the video game industry is not only desensitizing the world to the effects of violence, but now to the treatment of violence as well. If you go by this thing, a grizzly bear attack can be treated by a guy (me) on his first operation ever, and reconstructing broken bones is like a game of pick-up sticks.

I made my second major attempt to break the Mom/Adam gnocchi monpoly on Christmas Day by having a go at making it myself; I was definitely nailing the finger-roll by the end but I've got a lot of practice ahead of me in kneading the dough. Plus the gnocchi log totally frickin' mystifies me at this point, although I know I've done it successfully before so maybe I just need to try again with instructions. Something was off about the sauce, too, but that wasn't my area of involvement this time. I blame Adam. Why not? Still, it's fun to learn new things and get marginally better at being awesome. Next up: global conquest.

Further to that end, me and Sarafina (because Sarafina and I sounds so weird!) abducted Boxing Day. We have it, and you can't have it back. In this case the abduction mostly involved watching Invader Zim and Harry Potter and doing a good bit of sleeping, plus that thing where I show someone some of my movies for the very first time which is awesomely terrifying. But it worked out. (Of course.) All in all I'm dusty and satisfied. Now I've got several days of absolutely nothing to do, which is rather novel. I may go into my cave and not come out. It's all to the good right now, Internet. I'm happy. It feels like a whole new thing, even if it's more just a better version of the old thing.

"I've been eating speed for the last three days and every time I close my eyes I see centipedes." - The Séance