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The Benedict Chronicles: Clinton's

"...as plate after plate of fluffy poached eggs, cartilaginous peameal, and lakes of sunshiney goo continued to pile up over time, I realized that if I don't start catalogueing these excursions in some formal manner, a great field of human knowledge would be lost. Hence, the Benedict Chronicles..."

That photo turned out sorta crappy, but that's the camera on a smartphone for ya. No matter what certain organizations (ahem) may say, it's pretty piss-poor to put all your gadgets on one device. Anyways, piss-poor was the order of the day with this lacklustre benny at Clinton's, whose only real fun is found in saying "CLIN-TON'S!" in the same commanding basso profundo voice perfected by Harry Shearer on that Simpsons Hallowe'en episode.

The problem with this eggs benedict is its everything. The entire thing pretty much sucks. When the plate showed up Sarafina looked at me and said, "that looks pretty thin." She needn't have vocalized; a silent look would have said more than this meal ever could have. The soupy, barely-off-white Hollandaise, which leaned far too heavily on the lemon, and the laughably undercooked eggs did little to disguise the rough, chitinous peameal beneath. God help any benny this difficult to cut - sure, the cutlery at Clinton's doesn't exactly boast Ginsu level edgecraft, but the food was doing the knives no favours this morning.

The salad that came with was so lackadaisical that I didn't bother with it after a few bites, and the home fries were rather enjoyable if only for their trashiness. The fruit salad was like a sad commentary on our societal need to inject "healthy" alternatives into thoroughly unhealthy lifestyles.

Crappy. Just crappy. One egg out of four!

Clinton's is located at Clinton and Bloor, in the Annex in Toronto. The Benedict Chronicles is an ongoing, non-regular series.

Comments

a horny polysaccharide (C8H13NO5)n that forms part of the hard outer integument especially of insects, arachnids, and crustaceans?

How do you arrive at chitinous?

I don't know, I thought the analogy in context was fairly self explanatory.

No, I mean, where would one pick up a word like that? I'm not in any way arguing over its very appropriate use here, mind you, I just cannot find any other reference to it being applied to foods.

Ah. Well the first thing that you need to know is that I read a lot of fantasy novels. The second thing is that I'm always looking for lateral uses of adjectives in the benny posts.

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