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February 12, 2009

On a high note

I picked up Batman #686 this week and then promptly yanked the Dark Knight from my pull list altogether; I am so goddamned glad this whole mess is over. Between R.I.P. and Final Crisis, all Morrison achieved was to utterly obliterate any kind of artistic integrity in the non-Green Lantern DC titles, making last year's Marvel One More Day fiasco look relatively well-thought-out in comparison.

But, at the end, with "What Ever Happened to the Cape Crusader?", we're going out on a high note. Here's Neil Gaiman, pinch-hitting for the now certifiably bugfuck crazy Grant Morrison, to remind us how comics are meant to be written, and how they're meant to be read. "What Ever Happened" is posturpedic support for the Morrison-weary, a comfy training bra for raw and sensitive minds. It undoes nothing, retcons nothing, and yet it stands as such a stark "here is how it's meant to be done," with casual formalism, beautiful art, and genuine enthusiasm for the storytelling process, that it reads (rightfully so) like Here Is Writing, And Fuck The Rest Of You. And as such, is much-needed.

We gotta wait till March 18 for the second part, in Detective Comics where it belongs, rather than the main title. I'm rather excited about that, which is nice.

At the same time, the misbegotten Angel series both came to an end this week, and did not; I must admit that issue #16 last month did an appreciably good job with the climax of what had been a dozen issues or so of utter garbage, but issue #17 sorta queers the deal by being so clearly a This Book Made Money, So We're Keeping It Going. Lord, IDW has to work on their property management, or Joss Whedon has to work with Dark Horse exclusively, or something. What could have been a terrific 6-issue story got teased out into a 17-issue-with-two-spinoffs mess. Greed: it's a deadly sin for a reason.

January 18, 2009

Worth it

You gotta admire the fact that some cheeky bugger out there created a custom Nurse Joker outfit, packed it up with a TrueType body, and is selling it on Ebay, at Hot Toys prices no less. Never slow to catch a drift, Hot Toys themselves are now hinting that a third incarnation of their Joker series is on the way. Me, I'd just run down to the general store and buy an Art S. Buck, make/bash the costume from Barbie paraphernalia, and have the whole thing over and done with for about forty bucks. If I were so inclined.

(That's not the "worth it" of the title.)

What I really wanted to say vis à vis the long-awaited Joker is,

drooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllll.

Done now.

January 4, 2009

This year, I was unimpressed

Just about to roll the year-end Mamo, so I guess there's no harm in finally publishing this:

What a weird, bad, troubling year it was for movies. Nominally, I assign a top ten list to the films I've seen in a given year - but some years just don't get there. In my head I call these "A.I. years" - because 2001 was the best recent example, a year where the overall offerings were so poor (or at least, the ones that I saw were so poor) that I ended up, not with a top ten or even a top five, but in that case with a top four - a "hopeful" top five list where I left an empty seat at the table for a guest to arrive later. (I ended up filling that fifth slot with A.I., not because the movie is good, but because Chris and I spent the better part of the next 2 years having occasional, enthusiastic discussions about just what in the hell we were supposed to make of that movie. It affected the moviegoing landscape profoundly for the year, which was more than I could say for most of the rest of the flicks out of 2001.)

This year came out about the same. For a year where I saw a handful of films that I pretty much loved as much as any others I've ever seen, 2008 was a film year without a middle class - a few greats, a number of goods, and an almost overwhelming slew of "mehs." You can tell you're in a year like this by examining the reviews of your three favourite critics: I guarantee they will not agree. Two of the critics I greatly admire put Benjamin Button on their Top Ten list; the third thinks the film is profoundly misguided and unsettling. Perhaps this is par for the course, but it felt like the waters were more troubled than usual in 2008; subjectivity ruled. Picking and choosing from among the informed masses was pointless. I returned to the basic set of tools: find out what a film's about (but not too much), who made it and who's in it, and go with your gut. The result, though, was a pretty wobbly year.

As a result, 2008 has a top five instead of a top ten, and even that just barely. I was tempted to leave an "empty seat" again, given that there are a number of films I haven't seen yet which might otherwise have proved list-worthy. Among those are Valkyrie, Man on Wire, Doubt, Rachel Getting Married, Milk and of course Revolutionary Road. In the meantime, though, the films of the year are...

  1. The Dark Knight
  2. Let the Right One In
  3. Wall-E
  4. Ché
  5. It Might Get Loud

Sure, it's become unseasonably fashionable to skewer The Dark Knight since its release; American culture (and ours by inevitable association) is nothing if not bipolar in its twin barrels of a) insistence upon enormous achievement, and b) resentment of same. Now, six months later, even some of the same people who were singing in the rafters about the newfound strength of the comic book movie in July, are down in the church basement fucking alter-boys a billion dollars later. Everybody hates a winner. But a winner it was, glossy and canny, and between The Dark Knight and Let the Right One In, 2008 continued one of this decade's key filmic movements - the LOTR-inaugurated march towards fully exploiting and expurgating the mythic strengths of archetypal stories. Fantasy is a genre in glorious bloom, unlike almost any other genre in movies right now. For a comic book movie and a Swedish vampire movie, these two films were, also, among the most cunning excisions of American political, moral, and sexual mores that have graced our screens this year. Not bad for "pop."

WALL-E, of course, is pop beyond pop; it is not a film of subtlety in its razing of American consumerism, but doesn't need to be, because it is furthermore such a lovingly enraptured tale of two individuals just plain needing each other - a strength in Let the Right One In, as well - that it's difficult not to be utterly beguiled. Love seemed to return to the movie screens this year after a long absence - real love, love where each partner completes the other and thereby opens the boundaries of the possible, not the grim (and dramatically facile) tragedy of love-of-the-doomed. 2008 held a number of refreshing returns to stories that say that great love does not need to end in poisoning, sinking ships, or Alzheimer's.

Ché gains the list almost by virtue of sheer mass; in essaying a guerrilla movie about guerrilla war (using guerrilla cameras, no less), Soderbergh generates enough electricity in 5 hours of running time to more than overwhelm any 2-hour entry on the list. The distinct halves of Ché, though, are also sharp, entertaining, and thoughtful, refreshing the memory of the landscape of possibilities of a filmmaker, a camera, and a sense of artistic fun. This was true of It Might Get Loud as well, to a surprisingly strong degree; for such a humdrum premise (2 hours on the cultural importance of the electric guitar?) it's stunning how much this film makes you want to run outdoors with a camera(/the artistic tool of your choice) in your hand and just make something beautiful.

Honourable Mentions

In spite of the overall weakness of the formal list, this was the year of Honourable Mentions. The Honourable Mention slot, for me, goes to the film that was quite usefully distinct in the overall viewing, but "missed it by this much" because there's something about it that just doesn't seem inherently list-worthy. Normally, I pick one. This year, I picked four:

  • Citron and Flame, the movie Valkyrie wishes it could be
  • Ce'st pas moi, je le jure, another meaty and grim essay of troubled boyhood that would make a fine real-world companion piece to Let the Right One In
  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, one of those rare films which was actually originally included in my top five but slowly dropped as the days since I saw the film passed. Its strengths do not linger, and its weaknesses gain scale after the fact.
  • And for whatever reason, I am quite after-the-fact obsessed with Sauna, a movie which everyone (and me) didn't think very much of at the Toronto Film Festival, but which has sort of kicked around the back of my head since then. It would probably earn the "A.I. slot," if one were available. Flawed, disturbing, fearless.

I would also heartily suggest that while Cloverfield might not belong on this list, it belongs on some list, somewhere, because from a purely technical perspective, it is one of the great achievements of the year. Would have loved it if they'd come up with some miraculous solution to the clichés, but it's still film school in a can for anyone who wants to deconstruct the Bourne run-and-gun filmic style. Additionally, obviously, it is a master class in film marketing, and unlikely to be challenged in that regard for years. (Incidentally: if you watch the film with the presumption that at the instant of the attack, Hud goes completely insane and can no longer rationally assess "reality," the movie works significantly better.)

Worst film of the year

There was no clear winner this year for worst film, either, probably because I just didn't end up going to anything that really made me want to skullfuck my eyes out at the Van Helsing level of awfulness. Even Martyrs - certainly the worst filmgoing experience I had this year - is too disreputably vile to be counted against real movies; it is not so much "bad" as "horrid," and as useful to me as rotten salad.

Instead, I am going to name Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in this slot, which is unfair and whiny; it is not a terrible film nor even a terrible disappointment, but certainly ended up being the most negative relationship I had with a movie this year. For such an underwhelming and ultimately unimportant film, Indy 4 sure irritates the fuck out of me, and my empathy for the Phantom Menace haters grew tenfold this year. It's foolish to think that your "childhood" is some sovereign territory that lives for your agency only, but it's also horrible when you willingly allow some piece of it to be despoiled by fallen men. We should all be stronger.

Best technology of the year

Nonsensical made-uppy category, but shinybludisks made a major impact in my film enjoyment this year. It took a while, but I am apparently turning into the sort of loser who would rather be home with his home theatre than out at the Scotiamount with the assholes. (Well, the Scotiamount sucks regardless.)

Other and miscellany

Best original score: The Dark Knight

Best performance: Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler

Best sequence of a boat hitting another boat: At the Edge of the World

Better on Blu than at the movies: Encounters at the End of the World

Best Blu-Ray overall: The Dark Knight (picture), WALL-E (features & extras), Lost: The Complete Fourth Season (watchability), Juno (huggability)

Most overrated film of any length: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

You'll never see it, but you really should: Medicine for Melancholy

Biggest disappointment: Hellboy 2

Best karate kick... to my heart!: Jean-Claude Van Damme's soliloquy in JCVD

Best... something: Synechdoche, New York

Unexpected words to live by: "If I run, you run." (Mila Kunis to Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

December 21, 2008

The dark night

Their exploits were as black as sky-kissed crude showering down on the souls of harsh labourers who know nothing beyond their own mean sensory needs; as dark as leathery wings set against the midnight sky of a foul and stinking city rotten with crime. They were men of strong liqour and sharp edges; men who walked with purpose and furrowed brow; men grappling with righteousness in the dirt of humanity's soul, with lost, bright eyes glaring out into impenetrable doom.

One was an oil man. The other was Batman.

On Friday night we screened There Will Be Blood and The Dark Knight (in that order), something I've wanted to do since July and maybe since the day I was born. The results were mixed. While the company was excellent and the egg nog milkshakes were divine, the collision needed to be more seamless and I think the pairing probably required some discussion questions, perhaps in a little booklet, to be handed out. (Is the oil fire sequence in There Will Be Blood a September 11th touchstone, and if so are the two halves of the film, before and after, comments on the then-and-now states of America, and if so what is the significance of the image of the flaming eye?) I wanted to introduce Daniel Plainview to the Joker and see them move in a straight line - they share the same theme music, after all, and glare at one another from separate corners of the emotional and moral void of post-apocalyptic America - plus, I really wanted to sink into those thick blu-ray images. The blizzard outside was a good idea. But starting two two-and-a-half-hour movies back-to-back at nearly 9:00 robs the evening of a certain frisson. And starting with TWBB, though deliberate, is a little like what the Joker says about starting with the head - makes the victim all "fuzzy."

Next time.

Yesterday Sarafina and I went shopping on the busiest shopping day of the year, which was exhausting but surprisingly enjoyable. We found a Chairman Mao alarm clock that we could have had for peanuts, and enjoyed samples of a rather amazing vodka at the LCBO. (This is a thing now? Handing out free vodka in the middle of a Saturday afternoon? Our world is improving.) After mooning over a blu-ray copy of When We Left Earth at HMV and looking at more pairs of earrings than I know what to do with, all of my Christmas shopping is actually, really, genuinely complete. Nothing left now but to take the orphans to breakfast on the 24th, attempt to devise a gluten-free cheetsa recipe once I've made the regular version with my mom, and watch sixty movies on Boxing Day starting with Superman II. I wish the snow would stay. I am feeling snuggled.

December 17, 2008

Batmobile lost its wheel

Today, my cat Zam is eight. EIGHT! That is a fat stupid age.

Also today, my team got me a 1960s Batmobile model to put on my desk (next to my other Batmobiles). I am all Batmobiled up over here. So far for Christmas 2008, Matt Brown: 2, rest of the world: 0.

But wait'll you see what I got YOU.

Tonight I have to do one of those things where I have ten different things to buy, at ten different stores, which actually form a straight line (well, more of an "L") between Yonge and Wellesley, and Queen and Spadina. So I guess I'll just walk along. I've been slowly back-filling the blog archive with material from before the Movable Type migration lately, and reading all my florid former prose has me riled up.

December 11, 2008

She glows

So as it turns out, watching my rock star girlfriend play her rock star songs turns me into a 12-year-old girl and I can only communicate in OMGs and LULZs. Yep, I've tried to write this paragraph fifteen times but every time I finish with "Parkside played the Cameron House on Tuesday night," everything else I could say is just overexcited chipmunkly gibberspeak. Hey! I'm in love with a rock star! Leavemealone.

YEAH! PARKDALE!

I took the day off yesterday and Sarafina and I watched, get ready for it, the entire fourth season of Lost. All of it. For a long time I've presumed that such a thing was theoretically possible but I never had the wherewithal, or the enabler, to support such an action. Well now I've done it, with the only person I'd ever want to have done it with, done it with Swiss Chalet and couch-bed and deliciousness and general decadence, and I'm willing to call it the best day ever. Oh, what naughty schoolchildren we.

I have to day off, too. I haven't even turned on my phone, I wonder what's going on. I may start a "communications down" approach to my life, to compliment "slow down. Maybe the problem is just that all our communication is just too fast. I was reading my own auto-responder this morning and it occurred to me that we are now officially way too immediately communicative: we have machines to communicate for us even when we're not there to communicate. This is, of course, one step away from robots ruling the world. If I deleted my entire inbox, and left my cell phone off, what would people do? ...slow down.

I can't write worth shit today. Let's play, "what's it got in its pocketses?"

  • Wallet (empty)
  • $2.87 in loose change
  • 1983 mail-away Emperor action figure
  • Mini-DV tape case (empty)
  • iPod
  • pocket knife
  • Notebook and collapsible pen.

Remember all that in case you need to identify me someday.

In case you were worried, The Dark Knight is the Blu-ray you're gonna be showing all your friends when they come over to your house, for pretty much the rest of time. I watched about half of it on Tuesday night before the show and it actually stuns the mind, it's so goddamned pretty. It's worrisome in some ways that we are now (well, have been for a while) at the point where the potentiality of home display actually outpaces the quality of the average film print. Print stock is cheap as shit these days, and I'd swear there are colours and dimensions in that Blu-ray (which, admittedly, has been digitally enhanced and all that jive) which I never saw on no big screen, IMAX-included. I was gonna go off on a rant the other night after seeing Ballast at the Carlton, because I was once again in one of those closet-sized theatres and wondering why I didn't just watch a movie at home, but I will admit there was still something useful to the theatrical experience on that one. I'm lonely, but I ain't that lonely yet. But I suspect these days are fading.

Right: I must now get to my toy sourcing.

December 9, 2008

A letter to the borrowers

Dear friends,

After great consideration, I have decided to buy the 4th season of Lost on Blu-ray instead of traditional DVD. This is not because I don't like you, and not because I have not enjoyed lending my first three seasons of Lost to literally every person I know over the course of the past 3 years. It is only because I believe in mouth-wateringly brilliant picture and sound, and in the ecstatic visible pleasures of the Lost series itself. I have faith in all of you that someday soon, you too will own a Blu-ray player, and at that time, can enjoy my Lost DVDs again.

In case you had not heard, Batman Be Blu-ray again today, as well. To commemorate the occasion, the Academy has reversed its lunkheaded decision to exclude the Dark Knight score from contention for this year's Academy Awards.

Cheers, etc.,

December 8, 2008

And the card attached would say

I am now Facebook friends with Dorothy Zbornack, and I am going after Blanche Devereaux.

I could do without these 5 a.m. wakeup days when my brain instantly goes into "spin" and I end up with no better solution than to answer work emails. I'm sure this is only temporary, as my work life (along with everything else) is about to go into that gentle 3-week sleep. For all the ways it is damned inconvenient, I do love my city under snow. I stood in my living room at 5:30 this morning just watching it, and watching the steam from next door wash over the skycraper canyon in front of me. It's beautiful. I digitized aboput half of the Guy in the Sky footage yesterday - if nothing else, it's gonna look tremendous.

Still breaks my heart.

More Dan Aykryod news: in addition to his largely indigestible wines, the man has vodka available in crystal skulls. Now that's a quirky conversation piece I could get a handle on, if it didn't cost fifty bones (get it?) for a small bottle. I like that Dan Aykryod's career now basically revolves exclusively around mystical boosterism and the shlepping of booze. Relationship? Maybe?

I read Brian Azzarello's Joker on the weekend; on the whole it has been a year for Joker interpretations. Miller's tattooed dragon, Morrison's super-persona trashing and reinventing itself time and again, and of course Heath Ledger's dog chasing cars, which is not so much an interpretation as a wholesale revision, and far and away the most useful such revision ever done to the character. Azzarello's is somewhere in the middle. He's playing in what is essentially the Nolanverse crossed with the traditional comic world, and to reasonably good effect, all of the characters grounding more successfully than they do when Killer Croc is actually a giant crocodile. Plus, we get the first Nolanish appropriation of the Riddler, which one can presume is the first of many. It was like with the Joker genie out of the bottle in Dark Knight, Riddler secretly went from abysmal bottom-tier joke to "Next Interesting Villain" in everybody's subconscious minds. Hell, I've even got a sketch of him in my back pocket, which I doodled in the Annex the day after Halloween...

I feel better today than I have in many days, which might be denial or it might be grim acceptance. I'll take it, whichever it is.

December 2, 2008

More so serious

Honestly, the entire gall-darned topple-the-Canadian-government dealio right now makes me shriek laughter right down to the toes of my pink pirate socks!

Super special extend-o-cut of The Dark Knight score available next week in time for the blu-ray which is, I just learned, actually being sold at midnight at HMV next Monday night. Because... why? So folk can run home and watch Batman until 3:30 in the morning on a school night? But extend-o-cut soundtracks are always fine by me, and that DK score grew on me like a heroin rush.

I guess, with the Hot Toys Joker also cruising into town day-and-date with the DVD, I needed yet another Batthing to spend money on. And on the same news cycle, it seems that three million shy of a billion is actually enough for the judicious souls at Warner Brothers. Good for them, resisting the temptation.

Today I took Zam to the vet, where she was very good. The most traumatic experience of the entire event for her was the ride in the elevator. My cat! Strange.

Now I'm at home watching The X-Files on blu-ray. Unsurprisingly, the new X Files movie plays better on DVD. (Somewhat surprisingly), it's actually substantially better. The thing's shit-hot-n'-pretty, and it's hard to feel underwhelmed when you're watching blu-ray snowflakes drift down around Mulder's face. Chris Carter's shots make sense. The venue seems creepier. Even Billy Connolly seems creepier / makes sense. Why did they release this flick in July? It's a winter movie.

November 26, 2008

Dallas

DID! YOU! KNOW! that Umbrella Academy Vol. 2 starts today with issue #1 of Dallas? I wonder if that's city Dallas, TV show Dallas, or captain of the Nostromo Dallas. (Speaking of which: working lights!) I guess we'll find out in a few short hours.

I messed my hair up a bit this morning in an attempt to look emo like Gerard Way or Spider-Man Three, but my hair doesn't work like that. I did, however, spontaneously dance.

Also, today is the day that Batman theoretically either dies, retires from crimefighting, or turns into a giant elk or moose. I'm betting on the latter because Batmooseman is not only a great idea for a comic, but is also the name of a city in Turkey.

For those interested, Michael Crawford's review of the Sideshow Indy figure - which looks in some ways better than I expected, and in some ways worse - is here. I cancelled my order on this a few months ago in a fit of pique, because after all, toys are for little kids. (Still no word on meltyface Toht, by the way.)

And that's yer geek news for today.

November 13, 2008

Whoever designed the Schumacher Batmobiles was bugfuck crazy.

I guess that goes without saying. But I'm repeating it anyway. All those lights and dildo ribs and S&M edges. It's like someone had a bad dream about a night in a domination bar, and vomited when they woke up.

I'd like to think George Clooney still has his, somewhere.


Impatience

I wasn't entirely sure what I was gonna get when I popped in the Firefly blu-rays, but holy damn am I glad I did. It's a bit like watching the show for the first time. I even (and I never do this because it is generally a disappointing practice) side-by-sided the sucker with the old version and the difference is mouth-watering. Worse things than popping in "Serenity" for a few minutes of pretty before you go to work on a grey and tiresome Thursday.

Meanwhile, the other Serenity hits shinyblu on the last day of the year. Which might time out right with me re-watching the show right now. I realized in viewing these disks that I don't think I've watched more than a handful of these episodes since about a year before the movie came out. Which feels about right - enough time to be surprised again.

Hey, here's a tall piece of crazy: the score for The Dark Knight is ineligible for the Academy Award. So was Batman Begins, probably the score that did the most work for its host movie of anything in the last five or ten years. The Academy is, once again, miles behind where it needs to be.

November 11, 2008

City of Batman sues Batman.

Possibly the greatest news story ever written.

"There is only one Batman in the world," [The Mayor of Batman] said. "The American producers used the name of our city without informing us."

November 10, 2008

kcaj-wercS

I would like to offer a retraction: if you actually read it all at once instead of pieced out over months and months, and if you really concentrate and maybe write a few things down and then read the whole thing a second time, Batman R.I.P. is not incomprehensible. Actually it's not a bad bit of story. It's still being told in way, way too elliptical a manner to really be enjoyable, but it doesn't suck. It was interesting enough to make me look up some Morrison interviews about the run online, and he was interesting enough to make me cash into Final Crisis, and that's interesting enough to make me look warmly enough on the whole affair. I'm all up with the DCU, suddenly. To everyone to whom I owe an Animal Man lender copy - I will try to get that done this week.

November 5, 2008

Franchise fatigue

Pirates 4 watch: ongoing. Elliot and Rossio back, summer 2012 they're saying. You know what, I cannot fucking believe they are making another one of these things. I'm the biggest Pirates trilogy fan here, and even I am so mugwumped by the very idea of bothering with another story that I can't get all the way to believing it's real - not the "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" kind of I-can't-believe-it's-real, but the other, "they've gotta be kidding me" kind. I was watching a bit of At World's End this morning - you know, while I was getting dressed, like every morning - and I just started feeling seasick. I'm foured out. You know who would make a great villain for a fourth Pirates movie? Aliens from another dimension, that's who. Let's leave it be.

Meanwhile, I am trying to sort out whether I actually like Grant Morrison's Batman comics or not. I got scared back into the run by this whole "R.I.P." business (Batman dead? Retired? Or just batshit crazy?) and this final arc is proving utterly incomprehensible thanks to Morrison's seeming distaste for connecting any of his pages to the pages before or following, but I also went back and looked at some of the early work in his run on the comic, and it actually does make a kind of weird sense, if you look at it with an eye closed or in a mirror or something. Plus, that Joker issue, "The Clown at Midnight," remains fairly goddamned incredible reading. And the promise of a Gaiman-penned come-down from the Morrison run at least lends the thing the semblance of significance. 881's just such a weird number to close on.

I am finally going to see this tonight, easily several months before Hollywood will have a chance to start fucking it up. (Apparently I'm now protective of intellectual property I don't even know if I like yet.)

October 28, 2008

Matthew has a cavity!

So after a six and a half year self-imposed protest strike against the entire dental industry, I went to the dentist today. I would like to dedicate my return to Marilyn, the horrifying telemarketer-cum-receptionist who valiantly worked the phones from 7:30 a.m. till close to midnight, Monday through Sunday, 365 days a year at my former dentist's office. At the new place, I got a substantial layer of crap taken off my teeth, but on the whole fared pretty well for someone who hadn't engaged in dentistry since he moved out of Mommy and Daddy's house. This is because I have Great Teeth. Nigh on indestructible, they are. In spite of that, I had a wee cavity, which I had them fill, and now all's back to normal. I'll visit again in 2015, wearing vacuum-sealed high-tops and carrying my hoverboard under my arm.

Over in the real world (I call it: "Ontario"), cell phones + driving = illegal, which dismays me only in that our species apparently needs laws for this sort of thing, instead of figuring that, say, typing an email while driving might be slightly Darwinism-worthy. But then, we're the ones who forked over enough money to guarantee a sequel to The Da Vinci Code. So we get what we get.

Go Chris Nolan go. You've got my vote for Genius.

October 27, 2008

The inflatable Roger Ebert

To briefly continue my pre-stated Ebert crush, the fella put into words on his blog what I've been noticing all of this year: since the loss of his voice, that man's writing (which didn't suck to begin with, by the way) has fucking skyrocketed in quality. It's sort of amazing, sort of beautiful, sort of sad. I guess it's just the way things go, but it makes me think a lot about what I'm doing, and what I'm writing, and what happens upon the redirection of rivers.

Not merely to draw attention to how cool I am - though I am cool - but I am now reading Bat-Manga!, which was a gift from Matty Price, and is magnificent. It has all the tropes of the 60s Batman TV series and the assorted Godzilla variations, i.e. there's still Clay-Face but now Clay-Face turns into a giant pterodactyl to fight Batman. At long last, we have discovered the road Chris Nolan should take in forging Batman Begins Some'Third. Batman in Japan! Japan-Batman! Bat-Japan-Man! They already crossed the Joker with Ichi the Killer, now imagine if they crossed the Riddler with the fuckin' Bugmaster? Well, had him played by Tadanobu Asano anyway. I'd watch that guy do anything. Domo. Domo arigato.

The thing I've been writing of late, a piddling 6-page 2-hander called Guy in the Sky, actually got taken to what I'd call a nearly successful half-assed draft yesterday, which means that I should write it at least twice more, but that if I do so, it might not suck. So that's something.

September 30, 2008

Dames.

If they ever make portable cell phone jammers with even a 30m active range (as opposed to ten), I am buying one. Good god damn, to be able to block BlackBerries in movie theatres. I'd be like the Batman of irritation.

Speaking of the Batman of irritation, the goddamned fucking Dark Knight blu-ray is gonna flip-flop between IMAX framing and letterbox framing after all. HOW FUCKING ANNOYING IS THAT. On the whole I am stupendously unimpressed with all this IMAX crap and consider it Nolan's single major mis-step on the entire project. It was distracting enough in theatres; the idea of watching my aspect ratio pop around the screen like a crack-addled episode of 24 is almost too much to bear.

(Can you believe I made that segue work? I'm like the Batman of... something. Point is, I'm Batman.)

P.S., Bill Hunt, your site design was archaic in 1999. The rest of the planet knows how to allow a direct-link into a dated post. Why can't you?

I've only read the first chapter of Orson Randall and the Death Queen of California, but so far, I pronounce it "excellent." Not bad for an issue I almost didn't buy.

September 26, 2008

Do you want to know how I got these scars?

Was a time, I used to customize some action figures. I never really got into paint ops much, or at least, not paint ops that involved the likeness - I am a shitty detail painter and portrait artist (but goddamned tremendous at paint-aging, I will tell ya). Anyways, Hot Toys - who have pretty much owned the year, toy-wise, with their Masterpiece Series Pirates of the Caribbean figures and now these forthcoming Dark Knight toys - went ahead and let the head of their paint department, JC Hong, demonstrate what he can really do with his tools, when not limited by the inherent down-rezzing of detail that comes with mass production. He took that Bank Robber Joker I was so drooly about a couple of weeks ago, which is already no slouch in the sculpt/paint/likeness department,

and did this.

Bit of a finger-waving "nyah nyah", because of course collectors will never see a product hit the shelves with even close to that level of fidelity (I mean, blink your eyes and you could actually mistake that photo for Heath Ledger). But on a pure fanboy geek level of a guy who dressed down his Millennium Falcon with garbagey sludge water when he was 12 just to make it look like it had really spent some time in space, I'm a' gonna call JC Hong a genius, and that one-of-a-kind paint op a piece of art, and sorta just think about it for a while, cuz it makes me happy.

August 26, 2008

Joker a-go-go

Now, I'm still going to try my ass off to get this Joker

even though it's proving tricky as a cat scratch to find any retailer in Canada who will actually be carrying the dang-old thing (even my beloved Snail).

That said, however, if I had money to burn and a fuck of a lot of time on my hands I'd probably also get this Joker

cuz good lord howdy, he's pretty good. He's a bank robber! And I would pose him on my shelf with his mask in his hand and his back to us, à la this:

and that would be just fine, in my opinion.

I am obsessed with that man's clothes. That's all there is to it.

August 24, 2008

Sitting around nude

For my birthday, I would like:

  • Anything Mola Ram-related
  • Anything Lando-related
  • Blu-ray DVDs, as outlined on my wishlist
  • This book
  • Liquors
  • Blaxploitation movies
  • And as you probably already know, I am fond of Batman.

Don't buy me this book, though, cuz I bought it for myself today. Pretty! If I have any really rich friends that I don't know about, though: this would look pretty cool on my desk.

I have been to Montreal and back, in class for three days, and have walked from the pits to College Park, twice, all in the past 7 days. Also saw Hamlet 2 (sucked!), had an entirely home-cooked meal at Christys' place (fab-u-lous!), went to the Silver Snail (but not for midnight!) and watched Superman Returns on blu-ray. Tonight is our soccer final: we are playing for first. I never sit down, and I am rapidly running out of things to sit down on, even if I were to find time to do so. Time is getting short. Every last thing into its box, and here we go...

August 7, 2008

The time of your life, part 2

"I will take you outside and fuck you in the street!!" - Ed Begley Jr.

"That is spicy. I don't think that's for cats." - Adam

I love that photo a lot.

Sarafina and myself went to the Pineapple Express movie last night, and ate fish burritos, and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. I would say there are at least six things in that film that are outstanding, four things that are just really pretty, and the rest is overall very well done. Additionally, I read the second neo-Fray arc issue in Buffy, and was so goddamned thrilled that I almost didn't know what to do with myself. Actually, I probably embarrassed myself in public spaces with my near-constant glee. The densely-woven futurespeak is new (I suppose we can presume that in the previous self-contained storyline, we were seeing "translated" futurespeak, as we would see translated Chinese in an issue of Iron Fist) but very well done. And as for the spoiler... well yeah. I fell for the Dru fake-out rather nicely and was aptly rewarded at the end, but the bones of the thing now are just gorgeous to look at. Something happened in this issue that never happened before - the modern-day Buffyline just gained a fuck of a lot of context, a place in the world. It's not limited to Sunnydale any more, it's not even limited to the naughties any more; with the past and present accounted for and the future now added in, the Buffyverse feels dense. I like.

This crazy son'bitch built the Batman Beginsmobile. There was a phantom DeLorean that lived somewhere between my ex-girlfriend's house and my parents' place, back in the day... you'd be driving along at night and it would just appear behind you, and you (meaning I) would freak right out. Imagine how you (meaning I) would feel if the motherfucking Batmobile started tailing you instead. Holy cow.

Finally, for everyone who (like me) is still having trouble sliding the oily oyster that is "Quantum of Solace" down their gullet, there's a Joe Cornish fake theme song floating around YouTube that's quite enjoyable. They had me at "great big man-tits."

July 24, 2008

Mamo #118: Batmamo!

Three whole years of Mamo's extraordinary amazingtude have brought us right back to the beginning: Christopher Nolan's done a Batman movie, and holy shafizzle, they don't come any better than this. Matty Price and I recorded this Mamo on Tuesday night and not only did it turn out to be really, really long (which is always fairly satisfying), but also rather good (which is equally satisfying if not more so). Y'know, I'm just damn glad we've been doing this thing for three whole years with no sign of stopping. It's starting to feel like an actual Thing.

Mamo!

July 20, 2008

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight - which arrives at a level of craft and dedication that will be a high-water mark for 2008 - is not just the film that Batman Begins inspired in all of our minds with its critical final words ("escalation," "taste of the theatrical," "calling card"). It is significantly more: the most dextrous, complicated, and absorbing "comic book movie" ever made.

Click here to read my review, with a heavy spoiler warning.

This review was murderously hard to write. Actually, I guess it isn't even a "review" at all, more of a film analysis than anything about pros/cons of a new Batman flick. Oddly enough I glimpsed at my review for Begins just now, and was struck by how oddly and unintentionally parallel the two reviews are in construction. Which I suppose bodes well for my theory on Nolan and the films, if they could spontaneously generate such similar responses without any purposeful re-examination of my previous writing. That guy is doing some fucking incredibly solid work, man, and with each successive entry I become more and more fascinated.

July 18, 2008

Batman!

Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman!

July 15, 2008

Why so serious?

Aside from slight disappointment that they didn't name all the tracks after species of bats like last time 'round, I can tell ya simply: James Newton Howard and Hans Zimmer have done it again. Oh lordy lordy, I thought his laugh freaked me out...

July 8, 2008

Batman Be Blu-Ray

There's almost no describing how much better the Blu-Ray Batman Begins is than the regular disk. This is the one where the real geeks will keep their standard DVD and their Blu-Ray side by side, so they can show performance comparisons.

The depth, the dimensionality... Required a firmware upgrade like you wouldn't believe, but it's some sweet candy now. Good lord, I can see into Christian Bale's soul...

July 7, 2008

You're on top of the world again

Just bought my Festival Pass for 2008, and as has become tradition, I am so goddamned excited. Might be the inevitable reality that I so very, very much need my vacation, but whatever it is, September can't come soon enough. And if everything goes according to plan I'll be able to walk home from Midnight Madness... outstanding.

Meanwhile, Batman. Ohhhhhhhhhh Batman. The marketing is out in full force, and I swear every time I see anything DK-related on any billboard, bus or balustrade (what?), the nervous strings of the Zimmer/Howard score start playing on an endless loop in my head. Duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH.... It never pays to be this excited about anything film related, but fucked if I can't help myself this time.

After a fairly miserable late-last-week, the weekend augured on quite nicely. There were brunches. And delicious drinks. And at least one fabuloso bike ride cum personal awakening moment. With the confusion and mess-around of Canada Day it didn't really feel like a full 2-day I-had-a-weekend type weekend, but still, it will serve, at least until my Batman Be Blu-ray shows up tomorrow. I'm gonna sit on my couch writing performance reviews while Liam Neeson gets all sage on Christian Bale's ass on the telly. Duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH duh-duh DUH-DUH.... Wow-woowwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrr....

July 3, 2008

Culling the pull list

Astonishing X-Men by Ellis and Bianchi - sucked! oh god, did it suck. Human words cannot describe the ugliness of Simone Bianchi's art, nor the degree to which Ellis apparently never read a single issue of the comic he's taking over. When did Hisako become a cross between Molly Hayes and a pissed-off gym instructor? Never. Fuck you.

Angel: After the Fall, now with a revolving clusterfuck of increasingly incompetent artists teasing out the dregs of Brian Lynch's evidently uber-thin original concept - the worst comic I am currently reading! I cannot believe the phenomenal fucking nosedive in quality this thing took around about the middle of issue 4, nor the fact that 6 fully awful issues later (including the unforgivable "First Night" mini-arc), I am still here. Spike: After the Fall? No thank you.

Batman: RIP by Grant Morrison - incomprehensible! Utterly, structurally, conceptually, executionally the worst-written anything written I've read since The Writer's Journey! Morrison has had it! The hack is off the job! Four more issues of this just to find out what the Big Change is? Not worth it.

Buffy vs. Fray - so fucking good.

June 27, 2008

Mamo #117: June's Done Busting Out All Over

With Matty Price's road trip imminent (and he's not taking me!), we knocked off another Mamo, our last before The Dark Knight. Which makes this anniversary season: we actually crossed the three-year threshold last week (and MP and Leah and Sarafina and I had a generally stupendous dinner at Mercato to celebrate... buffalo mozzarella flown in that morning from Italy, mmmmmm), and given that Batman Begins was our first show, expect the TDK episode to be... gushy. You know, I haven't actually gone back to listen to that first podcast in a good long while. I should do that, just to see how completely clued out we were.

I must also regretfully report that I am completely lost when it comes to the subject of frappucinos.

On the subject of The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan currently owns 88% of my brain. I can hear his voice in my head right now. It's calming.

The last man

June 26, 2008 6:08 PM

Got Batmilk?

May 29, 2008 9:29 AM

I solemnly swear

May 22, 2008 9:07 AM

I CAN'T SEE JUPITER!!!

May 21, 2008 1:41 PM

Purple wings and black capes

May 5, 2008 8:00 AM

I am Iron Man.

May 3, 2008 12:00 AM

How you can be an adventure hero like me

April 29, 2008 11:24 AM

April 25, 2008 12:33 PM

The Batmen and the Spidermans

March 18, 2008 1:41 PM

Raining DNA

March 12, 2008 9:09 AM

WHAT THE FUCK???

January 22, 2008 5:16 PM

The top ten films of 2007

December 30, 2007 5:34 PM

The line in the sand

December 19, 2007 10:12 AM

I'm a man of my word

December 14, 2007 2:43 PM

Death does not wait for you to be ready

December 7, 2007 6:45 AM

Love that Joker

November 27, 2007 1:25 PM

He is coming

November 26, 2007 7:06 PM

Sympathy

November 5, 2007 11:22 AM

Favour the bold

July 28, 2007 12:51 AM

Mud flats

October 23, 2005 4:31 PM