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December 3, 2008

In darkness, there is strength

Lord god, writing that thing for blogTO put a B-Boyz craving in me that could carve wood. The good news is, after what I would call a disappointing run of maybe 5 or 6 months at this place, the large chicken I laid hands on tonight was actually the best burrito I've had in a year. I wish it had been twice as long and three times as fat. I woulda eaten it all night.

I suppose that means I am officially going with Ian, who is opening another Burrito What (working title) in the Annex soon. I can't for the life of me think of a good new name for the franchise, though. Burrito Girlz makes the most sense, because... I mean, well, let's be realistic here. But I suspect that ain't gonna work for reasons both moral and legal. It wasn't till I found out you can forego the $500 prize for the equivalent value in burritos that I really started trying to think of something, anyway. Now I'm probably humped.

My work life is bleeding into my home life, by way of the BlackBerry. It took about 8 months but I am fairly well addicted to that thing now. It's tough times at the j-o-b and the result is a sense of always being "on," which is slowly frying my brain. Still, could be worse; my boss went to a 7:30 meeting today. On the day they send me an invite to a 7:30 meeting, I am firing myself.

In retaliation against all this, I am going to make egg nog. I am going to fully engage the spirit of the season by way of the mixing of eggs with creams and rums. I tell you this: I make a mean egg nog. And I might just sip at it, looking out the window when all the world's gone quiet.

After an 8-issue storyline, I give Secret Invasion a miss. Ultimately it just wasn't enough story to be worth all the falderal, and the endless tie-ins and also-rans in the other titles was enough to drive me clean out of the thing for 2008. Weirdly, I'd call the DC megavent more interesting to me overall than the Marvel one this year. I still don't have a sweet clue what actually happened in Batman RIP, but it kept me more engaged, which is more than I can say about any other DC title in five years.

I want that Joker. I want a lot of things, actually, which is most of my problem. Some nights, I get to sit on the couch and spitball some jokes with my lady. And that - that's all right.

October 17, 2008

The Benedict Chronicles: The Best Eggs Benedict in Toronto

SPECIAL! A few weeks ago, Tim asked me to write one of blogTO's Best of Toronto posts - the Eggs Benedict one, of course. Feels a bit like the completion of a life's work, except that obviously I have many, many bennies yet to consume.

The fifteen best benny establishments in the city as voted by the blogTO readership are.... here!

EDIT: The article also appears in the Toronto section of today's National Post, for those who do the "printed news" thing.

October 10, 2008

Kick-ass!

My friend and comic book guru, Sean, is not someone whose advice I should easily dismiss: every time he turns me onto a book, I end up loving it. He recently fished me back onto the Boys bandwagon after my suicidal plunge into pull-list decimation, and a few months ago he also put the second or third issue of Kick-Ass in my hands. In the case of the latter, I took one look at the Romita nastiness and said "no thank you," but I was foolish. All that shit you've been hearing about Kick-Ass? 'Tis true. The book kicks ass. I finally got into it this week and downed issues 1-4 in rapid succession; I'm even starting to like the art in spite of myself. Jury's still out on Matthew Vaughn's career, but it doesn't take a genius to see that this will make one hell of a fucking movie, if they can keep the violence and gangster-skewering superchildren intact. I was about three pages into issue 3 when I mumbled "This is gonna be the next Fight Club."

Speaking of Fight Club, here's Whack the PM, where you get to hit our country's leaders until they stop being so annoying, thereby consolidating your voting choice. Unsurprisdingly, I only ended up hitting Harper.

This photo mural, purloined from blogTO, actually pretty much says everything you need to know about the candidates:

Stéphane Dion: Rolling up his sleeves to look like he wants to work hard.
Stephen Harper: OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO EAT THE CAT
Jack Layton: A man's man; a ladies man; in every way: a man.
Elizabeth May: I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY TO BE HERE
Gilles Duceppe: Not pictured.

I'm in kind of a dead riding anyway, because I have no Tory candidate at all. No matter who I vote for, the Tories don't win; Bob Rae wins, which doesn't make me feel stupendously better, but I guess it's better than nothing. I have a Animal Alliance Environment Voters Party of Canada candidate, though. Who knew? BEARS RULE!

Meanwhile: turkey!

September 17, 2008

Scramble honestly

I have yet to use the scramble crossing honestly. It's driving me crazy. By scrambling "honestly" I mean: arriving at Yonge and Dundas needing to cross diagonally, and being presented by an opportunity to do so immediately, rather than within 2 or 3 light changes. Everyone else gets to scramble; I am straight-crossing like a jerk while the rest of the world goes fanny-dan-dango diagonally.

Now, there are people I know who are not scrambling honestly, who are so hell-bent to scramble that they are waiting one or two light rotations for an opportunity to scramble before initiating their cross. This is fine, but defeats the purpose; the scramble crossing was designed to get us where we need to go faster, not to make us wait. It is certainly not there just to showcase the wonders of the geometric center of the Yonge/Dundas intersection. The air is no purer there. The center of the grid is simply (on the occasion that one must either go from the Eaton Center to Toronto Life Square, or from that thing that used to be the Gap to Dundas Square) the shortest distance between two points. But not for me. I remain imprisoned by right angles.

Fedge.

September 14, 2008

Deadgirl

With Chocolate last night, the show closed on my least enjoyable TIFF ever, and I am ready to move on to other things. My blogTO coverage is here, and our final podcast of the festival is here. And my inevitable breakdown of what was actually worth my time goes like this:

That dog won't hunt: Derrière Moi, Deadgirl, The Burrowers, Martyrs, The Secret of Moonacre

That dog will hunt, but chooses not to: Rocknrolla, Witch Hunt, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, White Night Wedding, Still Walking, The Hurt Locker, Better Things, The Dungeon Masters, Gomorrah, Tokyo Sonata, The Sky Crawlers

That dog might occasionally bring back a rabbit or something, but if so, that rabbit is rangy and has fur missing and might already have been dead when the dog found it: Waltz With Bashir, JCVD, Delta, Achilles and the Tortoise, Religulous, Vinyan, Blood Trail, Not Quite Hollywood, Ashes of Time Redux, Hooked, The Wrestler, Of Time and the City, Maman est chez le coiffeur, Three Wise Men, Me and Orson Welles, American Swing, Sexykiller, ONLY, Chocolate

That dog can certainly hunt: Soul Power, Detroit Metal City, Sauna, Harvard Beats Yale 29-29, Acolytes, The Brothers Bloom, Medicine for Melancholy, Synecdoche, New York, Acne, At the Edge of the World, The Biggest Chinese Restaurant in the World

That dog is a goddamned outstanding hunter: C'est pas moi, je le jure!, Flame & Citron, It Might Get Loud, Tears for Sale, Ché

September 4, 2008

Medicine for melancholy

Well this is what I've been reduced to, friends - squatting in a Starbucks, coasting on the OneZone's weird technical loophole which still, three years later, lets me access Tederick.com for free while every other site on the earth is blocked by the connection checker, desperately to fuck wishing I had not decided to brave the first few days of my new habitation internet-free. It's goddamn terrifying up there, Internet! A BlackBerry is a piece of shit substitute for a living, breathing Facebook! Merciful Zeus. And serious crap.

Actually, the only thing that really worries me about being web-deprived is that I agreed to blog about Midnight Madness over on my old blogTO stomp, and now it looks like I'm going to have to finagle some late-night wheeling and dealing just to get into the site's back end. (Story of my life. Ho!) If it works out, though, you can check out my posts starting tonight with JCVD, right over here, sometime after 3 a.m. Wait, make that 2 a.m. - I LIVE SIX WALKABLE MINUTES AWAY FROM THE RYERSON NOW. In case you hadn't heard.

I am sick to death, Internet, of moving, unpacking, cleaning, organizing, shelving, stocking, decorating, and pulling very long white hairs out of my beard. For a "vacation," this one (thus far) utterly sucks.

Fortunately, there's TIFF.

Over the next 10 days I will be seeing (yes seeing!) FIFTY-ONE feature films. I was cranking for 53, but barring putting something together at the table tomorrow and mid next week, it's looking like I will merely be matching last year's number, not exceeding it. Still, this ain't golf. Golf sucks.

I will be seeing:

Thursday:
Soul Power at 6:30
Waltz with Bashir at 9
JCVD at midnight**

Friday:
Achilles and the Tortoise at 9
Delta at 2
C'est pas moi, je le jure at 4:30
35 Rums (arrrrh!) at 6:30
Derriere moi at 9
Detroit Metal City at midnight
and I might rush Rocknrolla, not because I want to see it, but because fuck Rocknrolla, that's why.

Saturday:
Sauna at 12:30
Vinyan at 3:15
Flame & Citron at 6
Religuolous at 9
Deadgirl at midnight**

Sunday:
It Might Get Loud at 10
Blood Trail at 12:45
Knitting at 2:45
Witch Hunt at 6:30
Zack and Miri Make a Porno at 9:15, where Kevin Smith WILL be asked to guest-host Mamo.
Not Quite Hollywood at Midnight

Monday:
Still Walking at 9:15
White Night Wedding at 12:00
Ashes of Time Redux at 3
The Hurt Locker at 6
Hooked at 9:30
Acolytes at midnight

Tuesday:
The Wrestler at noon
Of Time and the City at 4
Brothers Bloom at 9
The Burrowers at midnight
and I may rush Patrick Age 1.5.

Wednesday:
Better Things at 12:15
Three Wise Men at 2
Medicine for Melancholy at 5:45
Tears for Sale at 9:15
Martyrs at midnight**

Thursday:
Gamorrah at 9 a. damn m.!!
Synecdoche, New York at 12:15
Dungeon Masters at 3:15
Acne at 5
Me and Orson Welles at 9

Friday:
Che (the whole bloody affair) at 9
Tokyo Sonata at 2:15
Vacation at 6
American Swing at 9
Sexykiller at midnight

Saturday:
The Biggest Chinese Restaurant in the World at 9
Sky Crawlers at 12;15
Real Shaolin at 3:15
The Secret of Moonacre at 6:30
Three Blind Mice at 9
and Chocolate at midnight.**

The ** line items are the ones which, theoretically, I will also review on blogTO before retiring to bed on those nights. God, next Thursday morning's gonna suck, especially if Martyrs is as mind-warping as they say.

All rightie, I'm up and out, got my first flick in just over an hour, and it's at the gorramned AMC. This is gonna be a disastahhhh...

"Let's get down to brass tacks here: how much for the ape?"

August 10, 2008

and shit is blowing up all over town

July 25, 2008

I want to believe

...but it looks like the X-Files movie turned out pretty bad.

Myy relationship with review aggregators has become interesting over the past year or so. There was a time when I would have resisted the very notion of aggregators, and on a basic theoretical level I suppose I still think they're an even more flawed approach to film response than thumbs up / thumbs down (a reduction so gross that even Roger Ebert has said it is specifically responsible for destroying modern film criticism). And yet, there's little denying that any movie I'm even slightly "on the fence" about, I'll go to RT and see what the critical consensus is before deciding whether I should give it a try. Money and time being as finite as they are right now, I lean on the rapid data snapshot - which I suppose by default must also mean that I no longer think my critical taste distinct enough for the masses that there is a better-than-average chance I will like something that the majority does not, i.e. even if using the aggregators is a massive generalization on my likelihood to like a movie, the odds are still in my favour that I'll come out above par by just following the herd. And this from the guy who liked The Phantom Menace. Ah well. If only movies (Dark Knight notwithstanding) weren't so crappy right now.

Comics being in a similar state of blah, I went all Five Families on my pull list Wednesday night - chucked the Avengers, the X-Men, the Boys, the Hellboys, the Angels, and came damn close to chucking Iron Fist thanks to the unannounced (at least to me) switch to an entirely new writing/art team. WTF? Fraction and Brubaker abandon sweet IIF awesomeness for Uncanny frickin' X-Men? Grrrrrrr.

Speaking of Five Families, all the stolen bike raids are making Toronto feel like The Untouchables this week! You know, like when Sean Connery walks across the street and knocks that door down and there's all the jamokes in there? Exciting.

April 27, 2008

If I run, you run.

I would be inclined to call the "I just broke up with Sarah Marshall, and then went to Hawaii and found out that she was staying in the same hotel as me with her new boyfriend!" thing the worst kind of Hollywood cliché, until about 9 p.m. on Wednesday night, when not 10 hours after having seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall in an empty Wednesday morning theatre, and en route to Niagara Falls for a night of decadent trashiness, Sarafina called her ex-boyfriend to wish him a happy birthday, only to discover that he and his girlfriend were in the very town we were about to enter, staying at the casino we were at that exact moment pointing the Land Rover towards. And would we like to get together later for some gambling? So, apparently that's actually a thing that happens in the world. Jason Segel, I take it all back. And your penis is lovely, but please tell your director to stop cutting away from it so quickly. His ratings-board kowtow is ruining the joke.

We did the Niagara Falls thing, a town so named because there's a dirty great waterfall cutting right through the middle of the tourist traps (Ours and Theirs). There was a large Jacuzzi; there was stupendously expensive room service; there was a ginormous bed with lots of pillows. There was the single largest collection of Orthodox Jews I have ever seen staying in a single place at a single time. There was a massage, but no cookie platter cookie platter cookie platter cookie platter. There was a waxwork of Johnny Depp that looked more like me, instead of the other way around. There was a moderately-effective Haunted House that emptied out into an eerily deserted indoor playground - making Sarafina and I wonder aloud if this wasn't all part of the experience, the part where "the real terror begins." Yeah, all in all I'd say we took that town to school.

"A stupid, dangerous prick move" is what I've been calling the TTC midnight strike - wherein several hundred thousand people were left stranded in Toronto when transit when on an unannounced wildcat at 12:01 a.m. That's a pretty fucking terrible night and time to leave people standing alone on bus platforms, unaware that their ride is never going to show up. The back-to-work legislation reputedly just passed, meaning that my Hail Mary drive out to Consilium to get my work laptop for some work-at-home tomorrow was apparently unnecessary. But I'll probably stay home anyway, just to stay off the system an extra day. I don't really think I want to be anywhere near any ATU 113 members in the next 24 hours or so.

Now I've gotta deal with the fact that I'm going back on the clock tomorrow; that my remarks comparing the planetary boringness of The Barber of Seville to Saturn might have made Margaret Atwood think me uncouth; and that even though it feels like we've spent every waking moment together for the last 8 days, I miss my girl. But I'm in a "let's get on with it" frame of mind right now, so I suppose hauling canvas isn't a bad way to round out a long, strange vacation.

April 1, 2008

Safeword

Funny how that looks like "sword" to me, given the number of extra letters.... anyways. Springtime. Comic books. Fresh air. It's all happening now; even Big Brown Mountain is melting. I dreamed of whips, blood, and quickening rivers. Glaciers moving, but slowly.

Fortifications: holding. So tired was I of the various off-project interruptions that plague my day, and so delighted was I to find that my trebuchet is finally a useful piece of artillery, that I set it up on my cubicle floor. Then I sent an instant message to my brother: "C'mere, I gotta try something." He strolled through the door and PAZOWWWW!!! there was a rubber eraser flying exactly at his head, launched by the ancient technological powers of ballistics!

This, to me, makes it all worthwhile.

Continuing on with Y: The Last Man, and into the meat. The Wizard of Oz issue was just tremendous. Sex and death, sex and death... Bondage and baptisms and my blood in my ears. All snuggled up reading last night, and then wandering around the rainy streets looking for something to eat... we ended up going to an Ethiopian restaurant at Bloor and Ossington, and fuck-damn, it was awesome and solved the whole night for me. I have bad associations with Ethiopian food, like that time Mark tried to make it and I said (rather memorably) that it tasted like a shirt. Or the inevitable reality that no child of the '80s can hear the words "Ethiopian food" without a single-frame nightmare-flash of Sally Struthers feeding a kid paste. But last night's meal rocked my socks clean off and around the block, and I only wish I hadn't left the leftovers in Sarafina's fridge this morning. I'm hungry as a bastard.

The noises coming out of my big project are finally, officially, the rattles of imminent death. I shall dance into the mist. I'm going on vacation in 20 days. You can't come.

Appropriately (somewhat), my work on Captain Napalm and the Legions of Havoc began with arts and crafts - glue sticks, specifically, and tiny piece of paper.

March 27, 2008

Unbreakable?

Since it is apparently impossible to get the third volume of Y: The Last Man in Toronto, I have temporarily jumped over to Ex Machina, which is also very good. It's slightly smarter than Y, and consequently slightly less entertaining, but it was what I needed yesterday, so that's good. Also finally got both Nextwave books, and the first volume of Fell. And yes, I bought the first issue of Echo because I am apparently powerless before shiny objects. I should be a raccoon.

Finally! Rob Ford is dealt with. Too bad it had to come by way of the shithead allegedly wailing on a woman, and too bad his constituents would probably see a guilty verdict as a strong platform for his next electoral run, but whatever. I'll be thinking of him when I'm slogging up the DVP on my bike on June 1, blocking all that über-important Sunday commuter traffic.

This morning on the subway I read the latest Daredevil and got so depressed I almost gave up on life... but holy cow, All-Star Superman is the solid shiznit and pulled me straight back. After a wobbly six or seven issues, this was probably the best one Morrison's done since the first, deft in both story construction and entertainment value, and just so goddamn ball-satisfyingly good. I actually gasped on the Siegel & Shuster reveal, even though I kinda twigged to where the thing was going from page 4.... There's no harm in swinging for the fences when you're doing definitive Supermythology. God, this thing made me feel good. About everything - y'know, like life and stuff. Plus, you gotta love the idea that 300 years from now, we'll all be talking in incomprehensible LOLcat gibberishspeak.

I will not be going to this, so the world is safe from my overused Jack Sparrow imitation for at least one more day. Plus, 52 movies... in a year this terrible, what the fuck would I even see?

March 12, 2008

Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee!

There are days when only Sam will do.

I was going to write something about how much the Sprockets catalogue sucks this year, but rather than reinvent the wheel I shall pillage from a recent email I sent, which sums up the situation rather nicely: "There isn't a single film I want to see. Suck it, Tiffgroup! If I see one more film description about a shy-yet-artistic 11-year-old Danish girl coming out of her shell by joining the school soccer team where she makes an uneasy friendship with the tough girl in her class, I'm gonna vomit."

After a slow cooling-off period of the past few months, I have finally given up the ghost on being a writer for blogTO. I joined the blog in August '05 to do the movie podcast and write some film reviews; in the time since, I've had a great time picking on the TTC and bringing some awareness to comic events and stores in the city that weren't otherwise getting much airtime. Plus, I got to write a sex column for a while. Lately, though, the intersection between my interests and the needs of the blog just seemed to be coming to an end. So I've finally spun myself out of the mill, and have switched to "avid reader" status. Being involved in this thing from its (almost) beginning was one of the most enjoyable parts of my life over the past few years, and I'm still sort of amazed (and proud) of what it's become.

It's also nice to see that others are continuing my various works, and doing it tremendously.

Right: so, Serenity Better Days #1 tonight, and I'm also back-filling the key tract of 30-ish issues of G.I.Joe that I read when I was a kid. I'm missing four. Kids, don't throw anything out. You might want it later.

At dinner last night, young Maxwell asked me if I'd ever kissed a girl.

February 20, 2008

Middle of the week

Yes, the first thing I thought of when I read that a huge chunk of Queen West has been taken down by fire was "oh fuck, I hope the Snail's okay." It is, but the Queen location of Suspect is reportedly a goner. What a way to start a Wednesday.

Also: if you visit this post, you can see firefighters doing their thing in that awesome bit of alley we used for a shot in Bone Daddy 2. (Which might have ended up in the deleted scenes, now that I think about it.) That was the wettest I've ever been in my entire goddamn life, and I've jumped into a lake with my clothes on. Oh Bone Daddy 2. You were supposed to be easy. I suppose nothing ever is. In spite of this, I have a strong, pervasive desire to actually make Captain Napalm and the Legions of Havoc, even though as recently as a month ago I was pretty convinced I was never going to make a movie again. Just another thing to add into the pot of "where the fuck am I going to find time for this" items.

Still, it feels good to want to make a movie because I actually feel like there's something I could bring to it, instead of just doing something to do it.

I'm trying to de-clutter this week. Selling DVDs, giving away books, tossing a few bins of toys and putting some stuff on the Ebay. Spring cleaning has huge psychological gains for me - particularly when I feel as weighed down as I do right now. Selling stuff always runs at odds with my natural inclincation to put big stickers on things that say "free!" Like I'm going to do with my TV, someday. But in the meantime, I've got two 3-foot columns of DVDs to drag over to Sonic Boom, just to have them snarl at my scratches. February's a rough month.

December 30, 2007

The top ten films of 2007

Once again we're in a year where everyone knows what #1 is going to be and nobody's gonna be happy about it, so let's start from there and work our way down. In spite of what the critical community might be waxing, '07 wasn't the best year for movies ever ('03 and '99 still kick its ass by a landslide), nor was it the worst ('04 was pretty thin, so was '01). Comfortably of the middle ground, '07 featured a lot of variety, some real standouts, a wealth of solid base hits, and the best worst movie I've seen in a very long time.

In most cases there aren't reviews to speak of, cuz that thing where I was gonna stop reviewing movies kinda almost sorta worked out. But I've linked out to whatever I've got on the blog (or blogTO) that can provide a little context.

#1: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

The word "masterpiece" gets tossed around so much these days. I'm not even going to attempt to use it here, because at no time have I tried to deny that this thing's got flaws so fucking huge that my fondness for it is genuinely embarrassing. But then, so is my fondness for most things that I am fond of, so fuck it and fuck you (with hugs and kisses!). Really, the reason I just can't stop going on about this thing is onefold: I have seen exactly four movies in my life that have made me feel this unabashedly, ludicrously happy. And while this one may not replace one of the others at the top of the list of my favourite films for too much longer, it's been sort of enjoyable to seat it there for the time being.

I blame the wedding among fish people.

Hey, while we're here, let's hand out another award: best score of the year. Remember when I used to be a Hans Zimmer hater? Well that's over and done with. Zimmer flips the theme structure of the first two movies right on its back here, and writes a musical counter-argument to the original material that does precisely what I love most about the film itself: says "this is film three, and we are in a new place." I have burned a hole in this CD (metaphorically) this year. "Up is Down" might actually be my favourite score track of the past ten years.

#2: XXY

Hey, why not stab out with an arthouse Argentinian flick about gender identity that nobody will ever see as my second film, to redeem the sector of the audience that took off two sentences into the #1 entry above. Right, welcome to the polar opposites of my filmic inclinations. If the world was made up of nothing but overgigantic movies featuring ship-to-ship gun battles in the midst of swirling maelstroms, and tiny little character pieces about 15-year-old he-she's dealing with whether or not they want to be un-hermaphrodited (surgically), I'd be happy as a pig in fucking slop. And though it's probably declassé to say, the teen girlguy-on-guy defloration scene in XXY is definitely one of the hottest sex scenes I've ever seen. But that goes to my predilections in rather a straight line, so let's leave it off right there.

#3: Juno

The sentimental fave that got a bit too oversentimentalized in the time between seeing at TIFF and its actual release into the world, Juno is still a big walking smiley face much more kindly than Gregg Araki's actually-titled Smiley Face, and it's about teen pregnancy without being tragic about it, and it's got pretty much every actor in the world who was ever a genius in it, plus the one who's now potentially going to define the next ten years of "female star." Soooooo... good movie. Actually, let's just leave it with the title of Roger Ebert's review: "No wrong scenes, no extra scenes, and characters you want to hug." There ya go. So far "I want to make sweet sloppy love to this movie" is leading "this movie is really good" 2 to 1.

#4: There Will Be Blood

Trying to place this in the list is like trying to find a seat for a sociopath at Christmas dinner. Who cares where he sits, as long as he isn't near the knives? Actually I'm sort of nervous leaving Blood sitting next to Juno. That's an odd pairing. Technically, Blood is probably better than Juno, but it's also hard to sort out how I feel about it, given that I only saw it last night and when I was done watching it, I mostly just felt like Paul Thomas Anderson had pulled apart the lobes of my brain like he was splitting open a grapefruit, and then proceeded to take a shit in the crevasse he'd made. A good shit, mind you, and satisfying, but was anyone having fun? Hey. What?

#5: Zodiac

Zodiac's a tough little son of a bitch, too. It's perfectly made, of course; if there's a sure-thing filmmaker working in Hollywood today who's more reliable than Fincher for sheer command of craft, I don't know who it is. Unlike most of the rest of his flicks, though, Zodiac ain't enjoyable, and is dedicatedly trying to frustrate your every narrative need throughout, so the film can leave you in a decidedly muddled state when its final frames unfold in a Canadian airport. Still, for geek fetishism of both the actual 1970s and the look of 1970s American filmmaking, it's second to none, and it almost makes Mark Ruffalo not an asshole. So that's something.

#6: 3:10 to Yuma

Masterful existentialist Western. Actually, this raises a good point: 2007 was full of these things - simple genre pieces, easy base hits, that in many cases the director elevated nicely to a honed point by applying some common sense and taking the material seriously. Economical expression, classical dramatic composition, and a kickass cast make 3:10 one of the most engagingly flawless cinematic experiences of the year. I suppose the only really sad thing about any of these is that they've become so fucking rare in the last ten years that now, they're standing out as genuine masterpieces when really, they should just be one among the crowd. This flick had a lot going on under the hood, too, but let's not get too pretentious about Batman vs. Maximus, cuz that's really the whole point.

#7: Une Vieille Maîtresse

What can I say, I'm a sucker for a movie that can make sex work, and make it awesome. The ultimate flick (and whoa, so accurate) about what it's like to fall jealously, obsessively, and above all inextricably, in love with absolutely the wrong girl, Maîtresse owns balls like nothing else I saw this year, made Asia Argento appear to actually know how to act, and put a flush on me right down to my 12-year-old soul. Jeez, I'm blushing just thinking about it right now. Does anyone want to lick fresh blood off my throat?

#8: Death Proof

Sure, it's a genre exercise, but fuck howdy, it's a hell of a genre exercise. The least of Quentin Tarantino's work is still a gleefully exuberant smack out of the park compared with the best of his contemporaries (sadly including, for the purposes of this double-feature, Robert Rodriguez), and Death Proof is just so fucking fun it makes you want to get really drunk on Jack and drive around in the desert with a girl on the hood of your car. Wait, that can't be the intention, can it? Well, whatever. I want that car.

#9: Across the Universe

Well, now the "movies to hug" have tied "movies that are actually good" 4 to 4 (Maîtresse counts toward the former, by the way, for its naughty-feelings-causing-ness). So before the ratio slips too far down towards some kind of critical respectability, let's toss Across the Universe in there with a whole lot of tongue. In many ways too long and too ingratiating, this flick's every note is obvious, literally and figuratively. But it's got that demure glow about it that makes the coyness of its sixties mythologization fade away under the simple premise: this music is part of every single one of us, and apparently, we needed reminding of what that means. Yeah, it's a love-it-or-hate-it, and unsurprisingly, big cheeseball me loved it. And besides, I've just seen a face.

#10: Forever

This is kind of an odd choice for me - a documentary about a cemetery which, at various parts I admit I had difficulty determining whether it was staged or real. And it doesn't so much end as fade out. But it's still often sublime, occasionally profound, and otherwise always otherworldly and beautiful. Also the first movie that ever actually made me want to go to Paris. Take that, Bertolucci!

Honourable Mention: Naissance des pieuvres

I think I've spent every day since I saw this flick at TIFF apologizing for not liking it more at the time. It got by my radar that day, and then proceeded to ferment in my subconscious for the following five or six weeks until it popped out as one of the most important films I saw all year. Naissance is clean, simple queer cinema, but that's actually the source of its charm: seeming artlessness meets precocious emotional nakedness and leaves the soul haunted. We'll look for more work from Céline Sciamma in the future.

The Worst Movie Of The Year: Spider-Man 3

It has been a long, long time since I've enjoyed a worst-of-the-year this much, and this is also easily the most I've ever enjoyed one of Sam Raimi's Spider-flicks. I know that makes me an odd hairy freak, but there it is. This movie is just so coherent. Not in terms of plot or dialogue or performance or anything like that, but just in the bricklayer-like reliability with which, with an almost Kubrickian dedication to construction, each successive scene is in fact worse than the one that came before it, building mistake on top of mistake with such outrageous blindness to any kind of aesthetic decency that by the third act, the film has become a towering pyramid of awfulness that reaches a zenith on top of a skyscraper with a dead Harry Osborn, an almost illiterate Dumbfuck MJ, and, of course, a Spider-Man who just can't stop crying like a little girl with a skinned knee. Honestly: this was one of the best movie-watching experiences I had all year, and I recommend it (and the rum) to anyone. Bravo.

Yesteryear Award: The Prestige

It's only a year old, but the fact that I somehow left Prestige off last year's top ten list is pretty much inexcusable. This is one of those movies that, at the end of the decade (which is now precariously close), I will look back on as one of the great achievements in the medium over these mercurial ten years. My fondness for the flick has only grown in the three viewings (!) that followed the time I saw it in theatres. I just keep going back, and my esteem only grows. What a joyful little clockwork, this.

And that's yer year. And officially....

...2008's gonna make me smile.

December 28, 2007

Rug and a rum jug

You know what Bex gave me for Christmas? A goddamned rum jug. An actual earthenware jug, for rum. Obviously (as the title of this post indicates), she also gave me a rug. Together, these things make a fine little roll-off-the-tongue phrase which would be suitable for an album name or perhaps a sex act. I'm quite pleased.

More good news: Bex and I finally got around to Suck It: Two! OK, I admit I didn't quite twig to the fact that it has actually been nearly three months since we did Suck It: One. That's shameful. But it's out there now.

While on the subject of podcasting, right after I wrote that thing about how moviesTO had hit its hundredth show and was doing fine, moviesTO got shitcanned. Well maybe shitcanned is the wrong word and maybe it will rise phoenix-like yet again, but for now, it's taking a breather. Which should demonstrate to you why I should never say anything out loud, ever, for I possess the secret of the Deplorable Word.

I got the last tickets to tomorrow night's sneak of There Will Be Blood. I am so fucking proud of myself you'd almost think I'd fought zombies.

December 20, 2007

Peter Street is open, and we are serving burritos.

I have composed a haiku to describe my unease at the Peter Street B-boyz's shifting hours:

Once open always,
Peter Street Burrito Boyz
Now I'm just not sure.

I know it was never actually "open always," but poetry is about expressing feelings, not facts.

Hey, my Zombies Calling post got linked on Whedonesque due to its Joss-ish content, and I didn't even have to do anything. Thank you, interwebs, for your endless ability to annex and propagate my work! It's nice when I don't have to exert. The Faith Erin Hicks signing last night was good; I got a FEH-original Sonnet-kissing-Joss doodled on the inside cover of my ZC copy. So yeah-ya.

It has been the longest work week ever. Everybody's sort of grounded out to doing nothing - today at the office, about ten of us spent a good quantity of time trying to figure out how we'd disrupt an awkward one-on-one taking place behind closed doors in our kitchen. Also, for a solid portion of the afternoon I just wandered around with my Constable Odo action figure, making him look at stuff and say "hmmmmm." I found it amusing; others, less so.

I am tired and happy, and wearing purple and green.

December 19, 2007

The line in the sand

Fudge. I feel kinda wonky today. Headachey stormclouds in my head.

The other night me and my tapeworm went to see I Am Legend. I liked half of it. I like movies that are entirely situational for a really long stretch of time - though inevitably when the engine of the story starts turning and you begin to get that creepy trickle on the back of your neck related to just how desperate Americans can be to believe that God is on their side, it all tends to fall down. My Mamo brain is impressed, though - can't see how a movie that quiet made that much money in a weekend, since I don't really feature people coming out and saying "hooo-ah, that was some fun movie." But then, I don't know people; I like Will Smith but I find the idea that he carries seventy-five million dollars' worth of people around in his back pocket kind of unnerving. (Like the Chinese.)

Also, they played The Dark Knight trailer before the flick, which caused a brief spasm of fearish glee. Good news on the trailer: kinda sucks! As much as I firmly believe that anyone can cut a good trailer and therefore any crappy movie can be made to look cool, I have also found repeatedly that flicks I really enjoy tend to be un-trailerable a lot of the time. Heath fucking freaks me out already, not in the way I was expecting, but yeah, I think there are bones of a flavour in there and I like it. Now I'm going to not think about it for seven months. Watch me go.

My cyberview with Faith Erin Hicks is up over at blogTO. She's at the Beguiling tonight; I wanna go to the Snail. Life is choices.

I ate a serving and a half of perogies last night. And the other day, I had fish! That's something.

December 16, 2007

I am the tauntaun

GUESS WHAT, INTERNET! Turns out you can't move on a day like this! Which, I guess, is why I love Matty Price: a) he tried, and b) he called it off the moment it seemed untenable. He is both charmingly courageous, and reliably pragmatic. That's what we all need in an associate.

So now, I am officially snowbound. I may play tauntaun for the girl later, if things work out; if not, it's me and the Pirates and making the pizza guy bring me food because MWA HA HA I am the ruling class and he is the servant, although truly, he shall be tipped like a king. Ohhhhhhhh I wish I had Spider-Man 3 on blu-ray. I could get stoned and watch that motherfucker twice in this kind of weather.

You know what else I wish I had? Predictive text entry, that's what. Never thought I'd see the day that would matter to me but I am fucking tired of pounding out letters one by one. PREDICT, CELL PHONE, PREDICT! It's not too much to ask. I work for a fucking telecommunications company. I like my phone because it's a flip and flips amuse me greatly, but I'd not say no to a BlackBerry Pearl, not least because of what you get when you remove the word "berry."

So now I'm just jiving my way through some blogTO posts, including yet another snarl at the TTC, and an interview with Faith Erin Hicks that I'll be putting up on Wednesday in advance of her Zombies Calling signing at the Beguiling. (Plug plug.) Hey it's neat when I can use my quasi-journalistic status to talk to people I'd be talking to anyway. It feels like whiskey.

Oh hey: I saw Little Shop of Horrors yesterday. At that point I realized that I had only had one complete night's sleep since Tuesday, and so the second act veered more towards the hallucinogenic than perhaps the director had intended, but I stayed awake through most of it and even really enjoyed some of it. So there's that. Then there was Googmas and 150-proof rum - which, ordinarily, I'm all for, because it's what the pirates drank! but with the fatigue was a real downer - and then getting home from Googmas and now this Even More Snow jive. They had damn well not have the RT working in the morning. Matt wants a snow day.

December 1, 2007

Podcastery le deux

Firstly and gladly, we recorded a long-delayed Mamo this week which you can enlisten here.

But somewhat more significantly though less personally important, ye olde moviesTO just crossed the triple digit barrier with its hundredth show. This means a few things:

1. If we keep Mamoing a the rate we're Mamoing, moviesTO will lap us before the end of the year.

2. Shortly there will be more non-Matt moviesTO's than there were Matt moviesTO's.

3. Baby's alive and well, and with a good mommy.

Yeah I'm proud. Andrea's done a kickass job with the show since I left at the end of last year. It's gone to places that, really, I always wanted it to go but had none of the wherewithal to achieve myself when I was running it off my computer all alone in my bedroom. So pretty much, I'm pleased as punch with the whole situation. I think it's brilliant, and I'm looking forward to seeing episodes 200, 300, and more.

November 27, 2007

Nearly at the end

"We have the right to refuse to guide them if they lie, or if they hold anything back, or if they have nothing to tell us. If they live in the world, they should see and touch and hear and learn things." - No-Name

"When we were alive, they told us that when we died we'd go to heaven. ...And that's what lead some of us to give our lives, and others to spend years in solitary rayer, while all the joy of life was going to waste around us and we never knew." - the ghost

"I'm going to destroy Metatron. But my part is nearly over. ...We all know what we must do, and why we must do it: we have to protect Lyra until she has found her daemon and escaped. Our Republic might have come into being for the sole purpose of helping her do that. Let us do it as well as we can." - Lord Asriel

"The first ghost to leave the world of the dead was Roger. He took a step forward, and turned to look back at Lyra, and laughed in surprise as he found himself turning into the night, the starlight, the air... and then he was gone, leaving behind such a vivid little burst of happiness that Will was reminded of the bubbles in a glass of champagne." - The Amber Spyglass

"I wanted you to come and join me... and I thought you would prefer a lie." - Lord Asriel

The blogTO piece is still going strong; I'm enjoying sitting and watching the debate unfold (there's a great piece in the Globe this morning), even when I want to step in and start swingin'. I'm doing my best to not do that. A while ago I was carting HDM around downtown when one of the street corner evangelists tried to shove a Jesus pamphlet in my hand; I just held up the book and said "I'm on the other side." But really, that's inflammatory and childish. It's easy to get caught up in the glee of feeling like there is something important and interesting going on, and that something I believe in quite strongly is at the center. But I'm not much for being anti. I'm pro; I'm all for inclusion. For example, I am giddily pro-sin, enjoy watching battle formations if not actual battles, and continue to be terrified of animated mice but like having them in my movies. There's just so much neat stuff in the world, and nothing I believe in is so weak that it can't stand a little company.

November 23, 2007

We sail at dawn (the world is upside down)

New hoodie with thumbholes = the best ever.

I think the show went really well. In spite of it being a snow year (with a shut down TTC, to boot) there was a solid crowd on the floor. I was nervous as fuck beforehand - nervouser than usual, actually, which was strange. But it all came together. Wrote the script, practiced the script, did the script. Weird being that it was the first year where I'd seen none of the films - and couldn't stand to stick around in the auditorium and actually watch them live, either; needed to pace. And pace I did. After party was better than usual, though, and the big heaping plate of poutine afterwards was even better than that (if troubling). And all my people were with me. So yeah: I'm calling fest '07 a win. Another one for our side.

Hey check this out: Jeff sent me the link and I spun it out, and now it's turning into a nice bit of blogTO comment fodder. Shit like this, you don't even need to spin, you just put it out there and let the moral outrage drag your minor efforts down the gulf stream. I'm still trying to get a major hookup for one of my pieces through another, larger site - it hasn't happened yet (though I got close last week with the lightsaber fight) but when it does, I shall laugh mightily.

It's cold, Internet. Damn cold. Big moon you could cut yourself on. I've got a three day layover before the real shit start next week. Gonna lay low and plot.

November 16, 2007

Kim Possible!

I have a new stalker. This time, it's a boy! [glee] I haven't had a dude come crushin' on me since the Deep Space Nine incident of one double-nine three. Truly I am fabulous and everybody wants to know every nook and cranny of my being. Good thing I am so available, cyberwise.

In today's issue, we ask the question: Will Minx survive? I witnessed the birth (well, more of the coming-out cotilliion) of this strange creature back in the spring, with all the attendant anxieties that come with seeing someone create something marketed explicitly for girls when clearly, it's really for boys. Boys like me. Boys who like digest-sized graphic novels about teen goths working out their issues. This week I bought Kimmie66, because Aaron Alexovitch done it, and being as that I've got his art permanently inscribed on my arm I figured it was only fair that I should purchase and read every single thing he does for the rest of ever. 'Sides which he got married this week, congratulationsandrespectstohisnewfangledbrideperson. So truly, this has been a banner week in Aaron A.-land.

Now Minx, I like in theory but I'd like to see some figures on how it's actually doing. I know the manga numbers have thrown North American comics publishing all into a tizzy of late, but my question to you is this: is manga selling so well to girls Stateside because it's digest-sized and about teen goths working out their issues, or is it because it's, y'know, manga? So far I've liked what I've read from the Minx slate but I want a bit more from it; it's all very pretty and entertaining but light on bone density. (Kimmie66, into which I am currently 70 pages, may prove to be the first exception.) A bit more, Minx. Can't be all up in the street cred without getting a little artistically dirty.

Best thing o' the mo': Gone Baby Gone cracks serious skulls, Internet. Who knew B-Ffleck could direct. Fuck, who knew C-Ffleck could yet lay claim to a slot in the horse race for best actor of his generation? This movie's a brick shithouse, performancewise. And in a lot of strange, indirect ways, it's also the first true successor to the artistic victories of Good Will Hunting (and if anyone thinks that's damning with faint praise, they need to go back and watch Van Sant's movie again). Too bad it took a frickin' decade to get here, and too bad Affleck and Stockard's script wallows occasionally in speechifying and rhetoric, but otherwise this is a real son of a bitch on every level and I wanna see more from the boys from Southie. Highly recommend.

Ghostbusters gameplay: here!

November 8, 2007

Beauty killed the beast

Strikewatch: Day 4!: Tim Kring apologizes to Heroes fans! But when does he apologize to Heroes non-fans like myself? When's gonna be my time, Tim Kring??

Boy I bet at this point you're starting to wonder how long I can keep up this strikewatch nonsense.

I am in a very... complicated mood. It's pitch black out and snowing for one thing, and for another, I barely slept at all last night; these things tend to alter the emotional awareness. There was also something that Helen said about getting to know another person's body for the first time... she was speaking metaphorically... but it shimmered on the inside a bit, anyway. There are a lot of long, dark corridors ahead, and a lot of rich, powerful things happening lately, and the combination of the two can be a bit groundshaking. Lots of good, a little bit of sad, and tons and tons of complexity, challenge, and free will. Hmmmmm. Focus and concentration, and eventually, mastery. That's the key.

Look: I inspired comic art! (with the lamest, most obvious joke ever.) Still, for my druthers, that's a high compliment. I wonder if Debbie might lend her pen to Extreme Steve?

Home now for bed and cookies.

November 7, 2007

You find your demon's your best friend

I gotta say, as much as Timothy's scones are usually the cat's asshole, the one I had this morning was pretty decent.

So today I got up at QUARTER TO SIX, Interwebs. I blame everyone and everything, and mostly myself because I went out with Sandy last night and had martinis and salty food so the headache that roused me and wouldn't let me go back to sleep was probably my fault. And George Bush's. Now, the serious, serious upside to this was that I pretty much kicked the shit out of the fifth-and-final-for-now issue of Snapdragon. I revised the first twelve pages extensively, and wrote the remaining ten. That bitch is done. That said, I have some serious revision to do across the board. But once again I am just glee-filled at the degree to which I feel like I found something worthwhile here and managed to deliver it (to myself). It has a whole shape, and brings the story right back to the main character, from whence it strayed in issues 3 and 4. Oh comics. I could be happy as a clam doing this for ever.

Strikewatch: day 3!: Joss s'more. Boy it would be nice if Joss Whedon had a blog instead of all this shameless squatting. And while on the subject of strikewatch, E.R. might get extended cuz of this thing - which, to me, is like... they've done how many euthanasia shows on that series, and they can't see that IT'S TIME TO DIE??? I cannot believe anyone still watches E.R., and I stuck with that show longer than pretty much anyone. In its early years, in fact, it was pretty much my Very Favourite Thing. I've been watching some of the DVDs recently (seasons 4 and 5), and loving the shit out of it, so I tuned back in a couple of weeks ago and found it rather like going back to my old high school: same basic wall structure but fuck me if every single other thing has completely changed and left me behind. No series should go on to the point where there is no longer a single recognizeable element of what it started with, other than that it's still set at County General (a completely redesigned, rebuilt, no-more-opening-credits-at-all County General!). It's so inane.

In closing I'll just throw out a OMGWTFBBQ: BRFC!, and then guide your attention to the latest Teen Girl Squad! episode, which is so much more enjoyable than the ones that live downstairs from me.

"The Po Po! I can't do another nickel."

November 3, 2007

Last stand at Alamo Gulch

"Just tell me this before you go. What side I'm fighting for I cain't tell, and I don't greatly care. Just tell me this: What I'm a-going to do now, is that going to help that little girl Lyra, or harm her?" - Lee Scoresby

Lee becomes such a useful character in His Dark Materials because he so early and easily throws up his hands and says, I don't have one damn clue which side of this fight is the right side, so I'm just going to look out for the people I care for rather than spend all my time trying to muck out the delicate workings of the higher levels. That's the kind of reasoning that is both humanity's greatest strength, and greatest flaw, but it is just so perfectly human, that it makes Lee a singular and meaningful voice among the cacophany of witches, angels, shamans, and daemons.

Lee's final gun battle on the ridge just wrecked me today, partly because I could see Sam Elliott in my head when I was reading it, and it's so much sadder when it's a really old dude instead of just some guy in his late forties. All in all it was a good day for reading, cold and clear, and I found myself a really good cup of coffee and a nice hard bench. My dreams last night were troubled by whores and kings, but my new pillows are wonderful and I am rested. I have a new yoga crush, which helps. And my hoodies, as usual, are exceptional.

I am actually downloading all the raw footage of The Tracey Fragments. I don't have a clear idea if I'm actually going to use it for anything constructive, besides maybe teaching myself how to use Final Cut which I still haven't done after all this time. I just feel like if I'm so dead set on the idea that there's something valuable in that flick even if the final product wasn't to my liking, I oughta hitch up my socks and try to find it, even if only for an hour or two. But first, there's work to do today, and it ain't getting fresher for waiting.

Here's some good news: Hearts of Darkness will finally see shinydisk. It's the last film in my top ten of all time that is still mouldering on my shelf in clunky old VHS. That movie was just so damn instrumental to me when I was a teenager. Useful as hell.

I am in the midst of prepping up for winter. I went into H&M today and bought two hats, three pairs of pirate socks, and fingerless gloves. I don't know why I always fall for fingerless gloves; my fingertips are actually the part of my hand that get coldest fastest and are most in need of help. I should get fingers-only gloves. That would be better. But I am a whore for the look of the things. Sigh. Anyways, now I'm looking for a new fall/winter coat - a hell of a commitment, so I'm a bit stymied. I think it shall be grey, though, and hip-length. That is my current thought.

A truly immense collection of Golden Compass stills here. I'll be sitting pretty in desktop wallpaper for months.

October 18, 2007

Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight till they're burger.

And now I have a pirate satchel. Yarrrrrrrrr.

Actually in many ways, Hallowe'en is pirate paradise. That is why it's the Most Wonderful Time (Of The Year). I defy you to walk into a drug store right now and not come out with five pirate-related objects. Ditto toy stores, ditto comic book stores, ditto (obviously) actual costume shops. I spent a fucking mint at Malabar's the other day. And among the mint was my satchel.

I WENT TO SEE TONY ROBBINS TODAY!! You can only express stuff like that in capital letters. (My blogTO write-up of the event is here.) The man has huge, huge hands. The warm-up acts were generally lame but Tony, man, that guy is the real deal. I think that was the major draw for me. Way the hell back in the day, I used Personal Power to dig out of some rather nasty business; today, I just wanted to see if the guy actually delivered the goods or if it was all just finely-honed salesmanship. Well yeah: I'd say he genuinely does deliver what he commits. I was pretty impressed. Learned some shit, had some laughs. My dad took me to the show, and after, I took him to Burrito Boyz, and we talked about raising our standards.

Now, regarding Umbrella Academy: how did Daniel Cockburn write a comic book without actually writing it? Because this is so clearly a D-Coc property, and I'm foxed as to how he did it. Still it's fairly impressive work, made all the more so by the fact that as far as I'm aware, D-Coc doesn't even know what a comic book is. (And also: I don't think he liked Batman Begins. So he's a heathen.) I've got a few more pages in issue 4 of Snapdragon to finish in the morning, and after that we'll have to see if it's as Matt Brown an artwork as Umbrella Academy is a D-Coc.

Always remember, your focus determines your reality. That's a Qui-Gonism, but it applies.

September 28, 2007

Red Tent Sisters

The other day a friend of mine who shall remain nameless told me she'd bought a new vibrator and hadn't bought it at Red Tent Sisters - the women-positive sexual & reproductive health store very near our home on the Danforth. So this seemed like a good opportunity for shameless self-promotion mixed with selfless support of a community establishment: here's my piece on blogTO about the store, here's a link to the store's web site, and here's my strong recommendation that you spend all your Q4 funny money on stuff from this store. Places like this - particularly in a location like this - are in dire need of support to get their feet firmly planted. Let's all be with the helping.

Workshops and events coming up in October: fertility yoga (woot! gotta try that one), Natural approaches to menopause, and a film screening of Absolutely Safe, a film about breast implants (and presumably, things going horribly wrong!).

September 27, 2007

Go there do that

blogTO has your guide to Nuit Blanche, and it is excellent.

September 18, 2007

The virgin queen

"Welcome back to the real world." - a co-worker of mine
"Oh no, my dear. That's the real world. This is the Land of the Dead." - me

Yeah, I said that. And I already had to get shirty with someone for making a homophobic remark when I described XXY. Dante missed a level of hell when he was doing his pretty diagrams. In the good news pile though, I go away for ten days and nobody quits, gets fired, or has their head split open and a robot come out. One person got promoted, but she is highly deserving. The status remains otherwise quo. My computer decided to commit hara kiri to welcome me back, but otherwise nothing new to report.

The next little while is all about pattern breaking. I organized my life in post-its on my wall yesterday; I even wrote objectives and tactics. I am one focused motherfucker right now. The fest gave me a lot of clarity; now I've gotta go use it.

Speaking of toy bankruptcy, I got the Keith Richards action figure last week at the Snail - and it is bloody brilliant! Man I think it's actually the best Pirates toy I have. I wish they'd keep making these, but I guess they probably won't, unless we get Pirates 4.

Meanwhile, the battle over the sovereign claim of the TIFF "arrrrh" gag continues apace.

Man, I am in a serious Lost hankering here. Ya know? Locke won best supporting actor the other day, and here it's September and there's no Season Three on DVD and no new season to look forward to for godfucking ever. I am so used to absorbing this show in the September/October corridor now; I need my island fix. It ain't autumn without a little Dharma.

September 12, 2007

Encounters at the end of the world

You get broken down to every teeny tiny bit of yourself, live there for a while, and then in a few days, you'll build yourself back up fresh; defragmented. Today was the first day I forgot my tickets at home, the first day I got off at the wrong subway stop. I feel fine. I am an androgynous monkey-lizard swimming through a river of time. I am a gorilla riding a yak. The towers of this city shall be my Redwood trees; my skin is a map of the tattoos I haven't drawn yet. I am sexless; I am wind. I am a ranger. I am blood and oil.

Matty Price and I have started calling actors almost exclusively by the title of their most significant film - "Kick his ass, Die Hard!" "Hit that bitch with a frying pan, American Beauty!" "Direct the shit out of that film, Fitzcarraldo!" As with most things at this point, this is amusing only to us. Mongol is this year's Bugmaster (why? I'll tell you why). In this obscene wilderness you find a new kind of sense. Tiff (the person, not the festival) branded me the Silver Snail groupie today. I guess that means I've arrived. My eyes are clear.

In the limited moral universe of Woody Allen's Cassandra's Dream, the drama only stems from the question of what meaning is assigned a specific act before, and after, its execution. I side with Ewan McGregor: once you've killed, you'll still have to find a way to live the rest of your life; prison is irrelevant.

In the Antarctic waste of Werner Herzog's Encounters at the End of the World, scientists prophesy the coming apocalypse; view us as day-players on a world whose interest in us is fleeting. In unintentionally direct retaliation to this, two scientists play electric guitars on the roof of their hut in the middle of the frozen waste. They bring the defining triviality of our species - art - to a place that cannot hear it, understand it, or record it for later use. They do it just to do it, and on we go.

I am sitting at Queen & McCaul, cross legged with my laptop, against a giant wall billboard for a competing laptop brand, wearing my blogTO t-shirt and blogging about TIFF on Tederick.com. I am this city.

Western django

September 12, 2007 3:10 AM

Nothing is private

September 9, 2007 2:42 PM

Running stretch

September 6, 2007 10:53 AM

Due diligence

September 2, 2007 9:43 AM

Trip sevens

July 8, 2007 12:01 PM

The long way around

June 25, 2007 12:19 PM

A woman scorned like which fury hell hath no

June 14, 2007 9:54 AM

It never rains

June 10, 2007 1:08 PM

Go time

June 3, 2007 2:15 PM

Girls are nothing but trouble

May 29, 2007 9:45 PM

The Earliest Cake Ever

May 11, 2007 5:57 PM

El Chupacabre

April 22, 2007 1:27 PM

You drift too far will you swim towards the shore

April 21, 2007 10:18 AM

No Sallah

April 16, 2007 2:55 PM

Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was Bri

April 4, 2007 3:30 PM

I'm a damn liar: moviesTO #68

March 25, 2007 10:41 AM

Tonight we dine at Burrito Boyz

March 11, 2007 2:06 AM

Attention Rob Ford: Go Fuck Yourself

March 9, 2007 11:43 AM

Attention TTC: Go Fuck Yourself

March 6, 2007 4:25 PM

Twilight of the weed children

February 11, 2007 8:36 PM

Mamo #72: Adult Swimfan

February 4, 2007 2:03 PM

moviesto #60: The end is the beginning is the end

December 31, 2006 9:43 AM