Urban camouflage #2
This is me. I mean, it isn't, but it is, you know?
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March 18, 2009
February 23, 2009
Scorponok
I now have what can accurately be described as a ridiculous quantity of rum. 2 more bottles last night, one of which has naked dancing girls on it (that one's from my mother). I have so much rum, if things ever got silly at my apartment, we could have a rum fight. And still have rum left over for sippin'. Mmm rum fight.
The rum will help: I'm not gonna lie to ya, it's been challenging. I had a shite week, and a shite weekend because of it, and I gloomed around a lot of the time and lay catatonic for most of the rest of the time, and started to feel better for about an hour yesterday and now am right back into weary disaffectation and a general lack of good mood. These times are hard; not insurmountably so, but they wear on you. I could do with a win, or at least a sunny hot vacation.
I guess I make that mistake every year: thinking I don't need a few days to get the fuck out of here and do something which is as meaningless as my day-to-day, but in an entirely different way. Righteous meaninglessness.
Speaking of righteous meaninglessness, OH MY GOD THE BORINGEST OSCARS EVER. The whole thing looked like a descent into utter crapitude till Anne Hathaway was brought onto the stage, and then it suggested the possibility of a good show for a few minutes, and then it died a thousand deaths again as they trotted out the "here's how we make a movie" approach to awards order. Add the Slumdog march to glory and it's actually as uninvolving a year as there's been in my memory. We did our usual live-podcasting thing and ended up with a 30-minute show when all the segments were combined, which is a bit longer than usual, but surely we were only so loquacious to combat the encroaching torpor. (And also because we are utterly in love with the sound of our own voices, and with each other, and with cinema itself.) Listen to the Mamo here.
I'm going to leave you with some collected pull quotes from the last 24 hours, along with a few tips to make living alone less awful.
"Do you call your boobs your 'killer whales?'" - Adam to Caitlin
"You know what I like? I like how, over time, Adam and I have switched personalities." - Me, not related to prior quote
"DON'T fall in love with me." - Steve Martin to Tina Fey
"Whoa! Her eyes are pretend!" - Sasha, watching commercials again for the first time in a year
"Right now Jack Nicholson is applying a thimblefull of bleach to Keira Knightley's asshole." - the answer to why neither were at the Oscar show
January 29, 2009
And so, by their own hand, they obliterated their medium.
Print, as of this writing, remains dead.
January 15, 2009
Or whatever
Star Wars: retold by someone who hasn't seen it.
Ironically, very similar to how Sarafina describes my day job.
January 6, 2009
Orgies are not too much fun if no one wants to do it with you.
November 28, 2008
This happened to me once, and my childhood never recovered.
Especially when my mother walked in and said, "why are you ripping your clothes off in front of Mr. Wonderful?"
November 18, 2008
The denial twist
Adam and I's crack scheme to buy each other do-it-yourself muppets for Christmas was tagged and bagged by the sudden unavailability of the product on the FAO web site, in favour of the same kind of "I.O.U." they used to deal out when the Star Wars figures ran out back in '78. Still, the notion is goddamned appealing, especially since we are entering into the project double-blind (i.e. Adam will design a muppet of me, I will design a muppet of Adam, and neither of us will see the other's designs until the toys arrive). Plus, this saves me the bother of ever having to figure out how to make a muppet of Stanley J. Keramidas. FAO can make the muppet Stanley for me, and muppet Stanley could then co-chair my team meetings from here on out.
Less than 2 weeks out from shooting Guy in the Sky and everything is peppermint paper and rock n' roll. I'll even have lavolier mics this time around - lavs, and no storyboards. I'm flying a whole new kind of plane this time around, and if things go really well, I'm gonna figure out how to shoot something on the Scarlet next year. I even have something like a mission statement, the rules of which I am consistently breaking on a daily basis but regardless, folded up in my wallet right now, alongside a poem that I like quite a bit. Inspiration started small but once it got going it was everything good and loud about the world.
In the meantime, I am Indiana Jonesing one step ahead of the giant rolling ball, until at least Thursday at 3. I have my boots on to help me with this.
"Well if service providers could think, there'd be none of us here, would there?" - me at a team meeting, paraphrasing Obi-Wan Kenobi
"Pickles are ruining my life." - this woman
November 11, 2008
The Pirate King of Singapore
This Matthew Brown is now officially taking back the name.
Apparently I'm Linky McGee today:
Will Smith's bratty kid to play next Karate Kid. Hopefully Abigail Breslin will play Elizabeth Shue.
What if The Matrix ran on Windows. (What if people who had this level of filmmaking sophistication made actual movies instead of wasting tens of thousands of dollars on stupid parody crap.)
The Watchmen debate stirs some more with these posters. I guess no matter what happens with the movie, at least we'll have something to talk about between now and then.
And, post- our Herzog watching on Sunday night, Demetre reminded us all of this incident, wherein Werner Herzog is shot during an interview, and utters perhaps one of the three greatest dismissals in the history of man: "It isn't a significant bullet."
I do rather adore the purple underwear.
August 27, 2008
My secret shame
Last night I was laughing with Matty Price because he gets all choked up by the Rachel Getting Married trailer, but truth be told, I am no better, because my crybaby trailer is even stupider. My Kryptonite is, unfortunately, the trailer for Mira Nair's The Namesake. That shit put me into paroxysms of emotional fervour back at the beginning of last year. It starts off goofy enough, playing into that Van Wilder vibe, but by about the 2 minute mark I am standing on my chair shouting "YEAH KUMAR! DISCOVER YOUR HERITAGE!!"
I suspect I should not see that movie.
August 17, 2008
Cuteness overload
Well I'm sorry, but this is just too fuckin' adorable.
Cats simply should not be able to do anything that awesome.
August 10, 2008
Isaac Hayes is dead
and shit is blowing up all over town
August 7, 2008
The time of your life, part 2
"I will take you outside and fuck you in the street!!" - Ed Begley Jr.
"That is spicy. I don't think that's for cats." - Adam
I love that photo a lot.
Sarafina and myself went to the Pineapple Express movie last night, and ate fish burritos, and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. I would say there are at least six things in that film that are outstanding, four things that are just really pretty, and the rest is overall very well done. Additionally, I read the second neo-Fray arc issue in Buffy, and was so goddamned thrilled that I almost didn't know what to do with myself. Actually, I probably embarrassed myself in public spaces with my near-constant glee. The densely-woven futurespeak is new (I suppose we can presume that in the previous self-contained storyline, we were seeing "translated" futurespeak, as we would see translated Chinese in an issue of Iron Fist) but very well done. And as for the spoiler... well yeah. I fell for the Dru fake-out rather nicely and was aptly rewarded at the end, but the bones of the thing now are just gorgeous to look at. Something happened in this issue that never happened before - the modern-day Buffyline just gained a fuck of a lot of context, a place in the world. It's not limited to Sunnydale any more, it's not even limited to the naughties any more; with the past and present accounted for and the future now added in, the Buffyverse feels dense. I like.
This crazy son'bitch built the Batman Beginsmobile. There was a phantom DeLorean that lived somewhere between my ex-girlfriend's house and my parents' place, back in the day... you'd be driving along at night and it would just appear behind you, and you (meaning I) would freak right out. Imagine how you (meaning I) would feel if the motherfucking Batmobile started tailing you instead. Holy cow.
Finally, for everyone who (like me) is still having trouble sliding the oily oyster that is "Quantum of Solace" down their gullet, there's a Joe Cornish fake theme song floating around YouTube that's quite enjoyable. They had me at "great big man-tits."
July 8, 2008
Godberry (King of the Juice)
It's too god damned hot today to do anything but this.
and, this.
May 24, 2008
Offer expires June 15, 1983
The new Indy figures have at least one thing going for them that I really admire: a genuine mail-away offer. God I miss those things. When we were kids, Adam and I collected our proofs-of-purchase on Star Wars figures so we could mail away for Nien Nunb and the Emperor. He got the latter, I got the former. I don't think you even had to pay shipping and handling - it was like they were rewarding you for giving a fuck about the toys, not trying to make a secondary buck on exclusive merchandise. (Well sure: getting kids to ante up on five figures to get the free one wasn't the stupidest marketing ploy of all time. But it seemed more innocent then.) In fact I think my entire fondness for Nien Nunb as a character in Return of the Jedi came from the process of collecting those five blue circles and then getting a free figure in the mail 10-12 weeks later. I mean he's just a mouse with giant ears, but in mail-away form, he was cool. I wonder if there's a kid out there who's going to think a Crystal Skeleton is just the cat's fucking pajamas once he gets his in the mail in a few months.
Here's a Nien Nunb ad, to take you back.
May 16, 2008
VCR9 vs. Final Cut Pro
Last night Daniel gave me a Final Cut Pro crash course on some of the VCR9 footage. Since I never kept that test footage from way the hell back in the day when Mark and I were fucking around with our first sound mixer, I kept this instead.
Also did a podcast last night, discussed the more intriguing possibilities Blue Matrix, had fairly excellent Pad Thai, and slept in the arms of an angel who don't take no shit off noisy downstairs jerkfaces.
Pregnant bellies overwhelmed my dreams.
April 9, 2008
The V to the A to the D-E-R
I know at least eight people who are memorizing this right now. And it features, not for nothing, the best use of Jar Jar since his miserable creation.
March 27, 2008
Get yer Mulder
...while you can....
March 6, 2008
We'll talk about this later.
So much to say - particularly about the look of panic in the bearded man's eyes, and what a Jessica Fletcher cover of this song would be like - but we'll have to do it another time, I'm late.
January 23, 2008
Hell, boy
Let's try to assuage some of the crappery of the past couple of days by enjoying another peek at that fabboo Hellboy trailer.
Feel better? I do. Honestly it's been a pretty up and down time so far this week. A big part of that was the degree to which the Heath Ledger thing really shook me - not something I'm too happy about, given that I don't usually go in for much of that celebrity culture jazz. Nor did I really realize I was a particularly big fan, until yesterday. I guess I was just enjoying the process of seeing this guy get really good - and he really, really was. And now this. Anyways I'm sure we'll cover in greater detail in the inevitable Mamo; and then hopefully, a bit of rest. It's a nasty bit of business made nastier by a world that put 200 photographers outside his apartment to snap shots of a body bag being wheeled out the front door.
Ledger was only a tiny corner of the various stormy muck that kept my brain swirling into the wee hours last night; I think I finally fell asleep around 3:30, processing visceral sensations of dread that I haven't given much mind to since I was about fifteen years old. There's a longer story there, but it's not all mine to tell, so I'll leave it off. Suffice to say: ups. And downs. The way of the world.
I did, I must say, have a truly wonderful morning.
I stayed late at work to get a few things off my plate that needed getting, and then I came home and did one of the extremely long, extremely hot showers of which I am becoming increasingly fond. Now I'm caught between hanging things on my wall, watching a thing, or just getting into bed for a good long alpha wave. Oh who am I kidding we all know where I'll end up. 
January 21, 2008
Angel
Still going, never slowing, never swaying, with an even stride and an amused sense of determination. I was a bit delayed into work this morning, grabbed myself some breakfast across the street and was about halfway into the leap across McCowan to the office, when I caught sight of myself and thought "yeah. This is all right."
A lot of things happened over the weekend - too much to go into - but one of them is that thanks to Sarafina's Found Footage festival DVD, I fell completely ass-over-teakettle in love with Jack Rebney, the world's angriest RV salesman.
There is actually plenty more where that came from, and when he's done with the swearing he just starts gibbering about the fern and the dock. I love this man. I want to hang out with him, buy him a beer maybe, before he has a heart attack so enormous it actually concaves time itself. But then again all this shit was recorded in '88, so I might be twenty years too late.
Oh Jack Rebney. If you met Stanley (and W. W. Wooderson), who would win in a fight?
Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen. I oughta have my project work out the door by the fifteenth of Feb or so, and I just came up with the hilarious irrelevant detail that will make the comic I'm writing for Sasha leap above its own premise and become a thing that people will talk about for years. Things are developing, in all the corners, and I'm chipmunking merrily away. Otherwise, it's all just slaying dragons and drinking tea. How are you, Internet?
Postscript: My friend Alison's initials are ARR. That's awesome. Her boyfriend's last name starts with H, so if she marries him, her initials will be ARRH. That's even better. I'm so jealous! It seems like everyone's got a pirate ship story right now, except me.
"They were like Cobra. Only in band form." - me re: The Misfits
December 15, 2007
Nothin' to do but watch Harry Potter and pretend it ain't snowin' like a bastard out there.
OK I know I'm the last man to the party on this thing, but holy fucking CHRIST this is the funniest thing I've seen in a year:
Me and Bex just watched H-Pot 5 in Blu-Ray. She showed me this video. It's snowing. I have a party to go to. And I have a Johnny Depp hand.
December 8, 2007
Here, this will make you feel better
Don't need to watch all of it because it's fairly repetitive, but I suspect this is what our first contact with alien life will actually be like:
Why doesn't the dog give a fuck? It's a poser.
December 3, 2007
And that... is acting.
I'm deep in the reeds. Enjoy this for your Monday:
November 14, 2007
Something for everyone
Strikewatch: yes!: Frank Darabont gonna go sue-crazy on Indy 4! Did the screenwriter of the very bestest Young Indy episode ever ("Young Indiana Jones and the Phantom Train of DOOM!") contribute more to the Crystal Skull script than he previously believed? With a title like that, would he even want this information known? Time shall tell.
Meanwhilst, Marvel to go webby. File that under inevitable, but if there ever comes a time when I'm reading my funnybooks offa my laptop on the counter at Burrito Boyz instead of manhandling a proper printed version, I am offically calling Joel Lopata and telling him to come snap my neck. (We have an arrangement on issues of snappings of necks that goes back a decade.)
In closing,
And now I am officially at the stage where I become teary with excitement when I encounter zombie pop culture. Like Zombies Calling, and not just cuz I had a crush on Faith Erin Hicks for a solid week after I met her in the spring. Nope: it's all about the zombies. Oh cruel, merciless fates.
November 10, 2007
Laugh at me
This one is like that one, except way bigger and my friend Dave is in this one. So there.
November 9, 2007
Do you play with your toys?
Oddly enough, they both look so much happier and better-adjusted, post-fight. And so do I.
October 17, 2007
Satan lives in our vacuum cleaner
That's the only possible explanation for that noise.
I will start writing momentarily - don't rush me! I am picking my way through issue 4 of Snapdragon - turns out, not having a plan occasionally sucks. I'm getting there, but slowly.
I'd like to take this opportunity to stress the importance of diet and exercise. I rode my bike down to the blogTO meeting last night and yeah, it was hard and cold and my muscles are already turning into old leather, but I felt about 110% better after I was done. Winter is scary to me. Don't want another one like last time, want to keep the activity level up, and am fundamentally unwilling to join a gym. It's poxy, and I don't like it. Already I'm pissed at about six people who don't deserve it (including one who really, really doesn't deserve it), and I storm around from place to place like I'm going to burst in with a rapier and go to town on the joint. Clearly something vexes me.
(There, I used poxy and vex in the same paragraph. I am clearly awesome.)
Here, this will amuse you:
It's impossible not to feel a little better after a spate of Vadermonica.
October 4, 2007
I'll buy you a parakeet
OK, admittedly I'm six days late. I don't care. David Letterman vs. Paris Hilton: possibly the best thing that's happened on television this year. Thank god that guy's still out there, and that YouTube exists to let me catch up.
May 21, 2007
Summer gets the line
This happens at my office every single day.
April 28, 2007 10:10 PM