December 31st, 2001My year-end update can be found HERE. December 26th, 2001It is with great sorrow that I mark the passing of Ron Hurlburt, who always emblematized the word "gentleman" in my mind. I apologize (once again) if this is an inelegant forum for the expression of feelings of this nature. He will be missed. December 25th, 2001 Merry Harry Christmas everyone! May all your Invisibility Cloaks fit! (Or if you have to have a Weasley Jumper, may its initial be the proper one and not a Q. Unless of course you have a Q-name. Can't think of a Q-name off the top of my head so I'm assuming you don't.) So I spent all day yesterday cooking, and I was going to spend all of today watching the Godfather trilogy - boy am I cocky - but instead I think I'll just sleep, or maybe browse through the Ultimate Book of the Hottie. There's turkey to be stuffed, and Lego to be built, and lots and lots of movies to watch. Behold the Holy Christmas Cheetsa: 
And a present from my perennially-anti-establishment brother: 
(The top present says DVD, by the way.) The Lego pictured here was the only toy I received this year... take THAT, you Doubting Jobriases! 
December 24th, 2001All this time, and the magic combination was right under our noses: half Chinese, half Dutch. Whowuddathunkit? Certainly not that asshole Plunkett. WOW. Another Christmas with the Browns; Uncle Joey set himself on fire. He was (unsurprisingly) unperturbed. December 22nd, 2001As a certain Penguin in a certain greatest-Christmas-movie-ever-made once said, "A plan is forming." 
Consider this: earlier this year, the release of a very difficult to acquire George Lucas 12" doll. 
Consider this: the release, just now, as part of the Reservoir Dogs line, a 12" Mr. Brown doll, i.e. the character played by Quentin Tarantino. A+B= The Director Dolls Collection! This top-flight series of high-quality dolls will portray your favourite filmmakers in a variety of action poses. The line is divided into two categories: Auteurs and Hacks. Hack Line:
Auteur Line:
Development to begin immediately, pre-orders available when the product line has launched. Well, first I probably oughta buy the Lucas and Tarantino dolls.... but hey, Christmas is just around the corner! December 21st, 2001 All right, here it is, get ready cuz it's a doozy, and don't read it if you don't want to be spoiled, because it's just one hell of a review of Fellowship of the Ring. December 20th, 2001Yes, I've seen it.... THREE TIMES. Believe me, there's a whopper of a formal review coming, but you'll have to wait a couple of days... my mind is completely fucking fried. Soon: Tales of the Elf Girl. Soon: The Director Doll Diaries. December 17th, 2001Boy I'm just not gonna make it. Last winter it took until around February before I got totally fed up with being inside and wanted to be running around naked on some uncharted tract of sand someplace. This year the slippery slope I've been cruising since the beginning of November is a helluva lot shorter. I've got a Pacific island babe on my desktop, my Marquesan beach music playing, I've dabbed coconut suntan lotion all over the place..... My mind's going. Maybe it's because my riding season got cut so short this year due to injuries, but man alive in heaven I wish I were outside. Down with fish pellets! Fish pellets are not enough! I need real sunshine! The degree to which my tan vacated the premises this year was nothing short of apalling. I mean, I can barely look at myself in the mirror any more, not because of the physical deformity, but because of the blinding glare off my lily-white ass. I'm also in the midst of a really bizarre energy surplus - again, fish pellets I point the finger at you - but short of exercycling for hours (which I've done), I can't find much constructive to do with it. My fingers literally trip over themselves while trying to type, so writing's out. The assembly of jigsaw puzzles at breakneck speed is visually interesting the first couple of times, but rapidly loses its intellectual appeal. And a man can only eat so many grapefruits. Save me! Somebody save me! December 14th, 2001Just yesterday I was complaining about the pathetic lack of snow this year, and now BAM, we get hammered all afternoon. Groovy! I'm in a Christmas kinda mood, gonna go spread some Yuletide cheer, and tomorrow it's AT-AT Battle in the Snow Day. December 13th, 2001Had an egg nog milkshake at Mickey D's last night... damn near ended me. Is this a harbinger of the return of the Shamrock Shake? X-Men 2 no longer.... behold X2. Which sounds just fine by me, as long as it relates a little more than the exponent did on Alien3. December 10th, 2001I'm in the IMDB!!! Courtesy of Dave Tebby's tireless work in favour of The Gift, I am now listed in the IMDB as an editor. And the bestest news ever is, I'm the first Matthew C. Brown (I was counting on being the third, but hey, who's complaining?). Check out my listing HERE! December 9th, 2001Because seriously, enough already with the black. I mean, I was getting really, really, REALLY sick of the black. And I was having flexibility issues. Actually I think the previous incarnation of this site was too flexible. It made me soft. It made me lumpy. It made me pour from beaker to beaker with noticeable viscousity. So here it is: THP 7.0, love it while it lasts cuz if I think of something better it's a goner. Quite the little Empire I've put together here, actually.... December 7th, 2001Harry last month, and Lord of the Rings less than two weeks away, it was only a matter of time. A press release this morning revealed that a live-action film adaptation of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is officially in the works. I guess we couldn't expect any studio to have the stones to do the project proper and make all seven, can we? December 6th, 2001Time for the annual roundup: Fellowship of the Rings comes out in less than two weeks. I saw the most recent trailer on the big screen for the first time the other day.... it certainly gets the juices flowing. Art Asylum, those darlings behind the Crouching Tiger action figures (see yesterday's Toy 2001 review), have been granted the license for both Enterprise and Star Trek X. I don't watch Enterprise any more, but I wouldn't say no to a really kick-ass Picard figure. Meanwhile, Trek X started shooting last week. Wil Wheaton filmed his scene as Wesley Crusher yesterday. Can't wait to see how they write their way out of the whole Wesley-is-a-god situation. I'll admit that I'm still partially mourning about the delayment of Bone Daddy 2... but not too much. I finished the film's release poster yesterday, and it put a big stupid grin on my face. I'll release it on the web site soon... but not yet. In the meantime, the Stanley poster is available for your viewing pleasure. December 5th, 2001available HERE December 4th, 2001My e-mail program has the cutest new feature - it rates your
language content using these adorable little red hot chili
peppers that look like this:
It uses them to demarcate language it deems inappropriate. So if I were, for example, to say FLAMING CUNTWAD in an e-mail, a little box would pop up and tell me that my language might offend my reader, and that I should reconsider it. But, of course, if I were to dispatch a perfectly innocent e-mail to a director colleague I once worked with, asking after the answer print status of FUCK: THE DOCUMENTARY, I would receive a similar warning, in spite of the fact that there really is no other way for me to refer to FUCK. And then there's my dear cousin Mark, whose very e-mail address itself is considered e-maillually offensive, as it contains the word FAG. Because FAG is such an offensive word. In fact, homosexuality itself is an offense, and here's hoping the next plug-in can root out homosexual users and set their computers on fire.
And let's not forget the ever-cursed blaxploitation movie with all-white cast, which contains words like NIGGER and MOTHERFUCKER and all kinds of nasty shit about how black people should be wiped off the face of the earth. (It's my understanding that most black people can't even use computers, so I'm not too worried about them getting into an e-mail program.) Well kids, in light of all the great work we did way back when on the Documentary That Must Not Be Named, and the all white black white movie, and the time my computer blew up of its own accord, it just seems to me that my politically-correct e-mail program is yet another signpost of a dying civilization. We're going down, folks. Gotta get my ass a Snakmaster, that's all there is to it. Boy, you watch a million infomercials and you think the golden age is gonna last forever. But it ain't, baby... it ain't. December 2nd, 2001 Check out Benton getting all grab-happy with Carter! It looks like Eriq La Salle's exit from ER is coming a little sooner in the year than we expected. Which sucks because I was kind of hoping that La Salle and Edwards would go out at the same time, in a common story event, like when they got rid of McNichol and Patinkin on Chicago Hope (Doctor A gets killed, Doctor B quits because he can't deal with not having been able to save Doctor A's life). December 1st, 2001It won't come as much of a surprise to most people, but Bone Daddy 2 will not be screening on December 28th. Just not enough time left before sunset, ya know? But hopefully we can still get the production dusted off by end of year and screen it sometime in January. Wow, December. And a cold wind blowin' too. Yup, that was the deciding factor. ARCHIVE |
