March 31st, 2002I was dismayed to learn last night that the Eglinton Cinema closed with minimal fanfare last week. With the grand re-opening of the York as an "event theatre" only a little ways off, and Silver City audiences growing increasingly beligerent by the day, my interest in seeing films in theatres is diminishing almost to a vanishing point. March 30th, 2002Daring to push the envelope of just how long a film can go without an official release date, Bone Daddy and the Fourth Reich has been floating in that "coming soon" nether-region for about a year now. It continues to float. But now you can have a look at the newly-minted "Trailer B" for the upcoming blaxploitation extravaganza, by visiting the Official Site of Bone Daddy 2! March 29th, 2002The long-awaited Panic Room has arrived.... as has my review! March 28th, 2002Sometimes, the only thing keeping you sane is watching the seconds tick away until the Big Day. My Big Day is four days earlier than your Big Day. Ha ha-ha ha HAAA. Wacky week, got pursued, got gooned, got work, and on and on and on. If I didn't find life so endlessly fascinating I might be in trouble, but honestly, the worst thing that ever seems to happen to me is that I just burst out laughing at inappropriate times. March 26th, 2002 Today's the day I've been waiting for for a very, very long time: the beginning of Star Trek: The Next Generation's roll-out on DVD, in a fabulous series of seasonal boxed sets. It's an odd experience for me: back in the late '80s, TNG was the first series that I started committing to tape on a regular basis. It formed the foundation of a collection of videotapes which is now so monstrous that it requires its own accounting system. Now, those old TNG cassettes are being fed back into the machine, those vintage recordings giving way to new episodes of The Simpsons and Smallville, while the DVDs march in. TNG is, was, and forever shall be my favourite television series ever. As such, I am happily commemorating their digital preservation with a 7-part series of reviews of the seasons of the show, starting today with Season One, debuting in the Reviews section. It's going to be an expensive year... but a lot of fun. March 25th, 2002WOODY ALLEN?! And so, many attempts to guess the Christopher Reeve Wildcard are dismayed by a nervous New Yorker. Although I gotta admit, seeing him do stand-up for a few minutes was pretty neat. Another year, another failed attempt to win my own Oscar pool. This year I came a not-so-close second, with 14 points, compared to the fine point score of the Big Winner, a.k.a. I-finally-got-one Dave Tebby. Congratulations Dave! And congratulations Chris, for being only one minute shy of correctly guessing the run time of the show, which was actually a sultry 4 hours and 21 minutes. You don't get the bonus points, but you get our pity. I try not to begrudge anyone their Oscar once I'm done railing during the broadcast itself, but let's pause to consider future announcer intonations: "From the Academy Award winning screenwriter of Batman & Robin." "Academy Award winning motion picture, Pearl Harbor." The good news is that The Two Towers is already set up to dominate next year's awards, thanks to Fellowship's relatively poor showing. Look for Return of the King, however, to represent one of the great Oscar snubs of all time. There are two things I would like explained: Thing 1: Why was Silas this year's Oscar bimbo? Thing 2: Where was Will Smith when it was time to win Best Actor? (Smith, who had been visible all evening, was inexplicably absent when the presentation took place, and the show cut to a picture card of him.) And now, Tederick.com is proud to present a premiere experimental film. An examination of the structure of editing which is sure to dominate the Rotterdam Film Festival, it's called Ape...Space...Elton. Click HERE to watch the movie (in RealPlayer format).  March 23rd, 2002He's an Extra-Terrestrial: he's not from here. I'm from here. But I'm also from there, and the other place. Stupid Links: Mattbrown.com and Mattbrowne.com. (I've never spelled Brown with an E but then again I've never scratched my ass with a radio antenna.) Or how about Matthew Brown, Safety Consultant. Or Matthew Brown, Ph.D. Candidate. Here's Matthew A. Brown. Here's Matthew J. Brown, who is quite spartan. Here's a Matt Brown who is quite a crazed isolationist. Here's Professor Matthew G. Brown. Here's Matthew Brown at UBC. Here's Dr. Matthew Brown, Pediatrician. Here's Matthew Brown from the Eastman School of Music. March 22nd, 2002One month to go until the toy explosion that's going to make 1999 look.... quite big actually. But I'm still looking forward to it. March 21st, 2002Bizarre decimation tactics on Survivor: yep, I wrote a column! Today's Stupid Link: the Towboat Incident. I'm beginning to suspect that an all-encompassing working definition of "human" is "willingness to stand around and take pictures while life-threatening events are taking place." March 19th, 2002 BEARSHARK IS ON ITS WAY TO EPISODE II Three years after the Star Wars line that started it all, Jason and I are heading back to that galaxy far, far away at the exclusive Toronto premiere of the film, on May 12 2002. The event is one of only eleven such screenings in North America, all of which benefit local charities. Here in T.O., it's Child Find Ontario. I fully recognize that it's downright silly to pay a huge dollop of cash to see a film four days early, but in this case, I don't care: it's fun, it's for charity, it's tax-deductable, and IT'S STAR WARS! And it's less than two months away! March 18th, 2002Yes, I saw Men With Brooms, and while I remain apalled by the fact of its existence, I didn't mind the film itself that much. DVDFile has had a look at the Next Generation DVDs due out next week, and while their reviewer is a dumbass when it comes to content ("Lonely Among Us," "Skin of Evil" and "Symbiosis" listed among the best of the season?! They're among the worst episodes ever! ... wow, I really did just say that, didn't I?), the good news is that the technical specs sound spot-on. Worry not, fearless t.c readers, for my complete review of the first season of TNG will be online next Tuesday. I'll admit it: I'm in the midst of a Survivor craze. The weird part is, it's a Survivor: Africa craze. Not that I find Marquesas disappointing, it's actually quite riveting, but for some reason I'm missing the dust and the dirt. The official announcement on when we can expect Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is this Wednesday, and all signs currently point toward September or October, which sucks. Waiting is all I do. March 15th, 2002And here's today's Stupid Link: Jews Again March 14th, 2002 This cat is now NINETEEN YEARS OLD!! How long will he go? How - long - will - he - go??? Today's Stupid Link: March 13th, 2002Fourth-most-popular search request that leads people to tederick.com: KEIRA KNIGHTLEY NUDE. I don't know what's funnier, that that's the version of my home page that Google stored, or that so many people want to see KK's boobies. Let's play Search Engine Sensation: Keira Knightley nude naked sex Natalie Portman lesbian erotic Sarah Jones artificially-enhanced breasts suck serious ass I can't believe you're falling for this ha ha ha ha So here we are three weeks in to Survivor 4, and I'm actually having nostalgic flashbacks for Survivor 3. Don't get me wrong, Rotu kicks ass - I love John, and Neleh, Gabe and Paschal are pretty cool too - but I miss Lex. Boy do I talk about Lex a lot, huh. Actually yesterday I got a message asking if I would have kept SURVIV.ORg open if Lex had won... and of course the answer is no. March 12th, 2002 Starwars.com has updated with the official release poster for Episode II, which is totally good. Sigourney Weaver really wants Alien 5 to move ahead, and now both Ridley Scott and James Cameron may be connected to the project - how cool would that be? Given that the film may also be coming from a source concept by Joss Whedon, this could end up being the best of the set if all the pieces fall into place. Which they won't, but that's just the fried brain of someone who watched a film last night that almost dethrones Pearl Harbor as the worst movie ever of all time ever ever. That movie is... Eye of the Beholder, which I actually bought on DVD after seeing a doc about its making where I felt so sorry for the director that I decided he needed my money, regardless of the quality of the film. Well now I've learned the truth: he deserved everything that happened to him. (May the karmic angels strike me down) Animal-friendlies of the world rejoice: for at least the next 24 hours, I am a vegetarian. March 10th, 2002 SPEC TAC U LAR Fox came through in the clinch and overrode the CRTC, and the result sparkled: 2½ minutes of Attack of the Clones, which more than made up for the film's weak showing in the last trailer. The emphasis was on action - unbelievable, eye-popping, mindfucking action - rather than dippy dialogue, and there was also a healthy quantity of Anakin being a brat. Oh, and apparently Obi-Wan hates flying... although it looks like he's very good at it (through a donut hole? Han never flew through a donut hole!). And finally, finally, finally, something I've been waiting 25 years to see: 10,000 Jedi fucking up everything that gets in their way. Other good stuff:
And a little easter egg at the end: holonetnews.com, the official web site of the Old Republic. :) March 9th, 2002CLONES ATTACK TORONTO Summoned by the Force, I made my way to the holy TRU, and found myself my first Episode II preview figure, the ever-lovable R3-T7 who may (or may not) be the droid who gets knocked down in one of the shots of the Mystery trailer. For I am Geek, Lord of the Dweebs. Couldn't find Jango or the Wessel, but it was fun anyways. And all of this is in continued celebration of yesterday's good news: the deadend contract went through, which means that in just two months and eight days, I've achieved most of my goals for 2002 - time to start cracking away at '03. The new Episode II trailer will be available to we poor disenfranchised Canadians tomorrow night, via the Official Site. Can ya feel it? It's gonna be a hell of a show! March 8th, 2002You thought Enterprise pissed you off with its dismissal of established Trek history? Wait'll you see Nemesis:  Behold the Remans, citizens of Romulus' sister planet. Okay, I could buy that these poor suckers were on Remus before the Romulans arrived... but if that were true, why the pointed ears? Are we to understand that Romulans are no longer the descendents of a group of disgruntled Vulcan colonists? Has no one at Paramount read Spock's World or The Romulan Way recently?  And here he is: The New Picard, with The New Data. Those unaware of certain plot spoilers won't find themselves spoiled here. I only wanted to bitch about the shoulder pads, and to point out how eerily Tom Hardy resembles Professor Quirrell. March 7th, 2002As expected, the CRTC's ongoing stupidity means that the new Episode II trailer will not be shown on TV in Canada this Sunday night. Canadians will have to wait until next Friday, to see the trailer in theatres. March 5th, 2002 Yes it is more than true, I have my first Episode II toy: the luciously russet Jedi Starfighter, continuing in the proud tradition of Obi-Wan related merchandise being the kickoff for each of my Star Wars collections. I run around my room with it and go WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Oh my god, saddest episode of Buffy ever?! And the little convo between Spike and Buffy at the wedding... that was just painfully accurate. I think if the runes about Tara's future ring true, I may actually throw myself out a window. March 3rd, 2002Bone Daddy 2 reached "sort picture lock" yesterday. The lack of comprehensive closure is damning my psyche even as I write. Check out the Official Site for more information about the timeline for here on out (you want to look in the Making section, under Post Production.) I've restored a ton of reviews from former incarnations of tederick.com that never quite made the transfer. Included among them: My So-Called Life, my original Phantom Menace review, and even a host of speculations about Episode II that read pretty funny these days. Just look for the throbbing NEW tags. March 2nd, 2002Today I was a twenty-something set whore. Not a terribly professional set whore, mind, on account of the consistent bursting into laughter upon seeing the set-up, and also the bursting into laughter upon seeing the Chris, and also the bursting into laughter other times as well. Ha. Ha ha. Today's a very special day, because it was a year ago today that I swallowed Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone in a single gulp. And we all know where that led. Got a few surprises in the works, I'll advise as details come into fruition..... March 1st, 2002Literally cannot believe it's March.  Well ya didn't expect a guy to go cold turkey didja? Check out my review of the newly-minted Survivor IV! And on the other end of great television, 1700 pre-orders have been placed for the My So-Called Life DVD boxed set. At this rate, the initial run of 2,500 units will sell out sometime next week. If you want one, and have been delaying, now would definitely be the time to get yourself over to anotheruniverse.com/mscldvd and plunk down your deposit. ARCHIVE |