June 30th 2002

Here's what happens: I'm flying downtown on my bike at around 10:30 to meet Meredith and Steve for breakfast. So I'm cruising along Carlton, just approaching Church, when the light turns red and I start to decelerate and downshift. CRUNCH. SCREECH. My rear tire stops moving. We think: "bad."

Well, here's where procrastination and poor safety standards can get one into trouble: the little retaining disk on the rear wheel broke off a while back and I haven't bothered to replace it. Now, what's happened is I've downshifted too rapidly, and the chain has slipped over the top and into the spokes of the bike. Hence: CRUNCH. SCREECH.

The sucker's really jammed in there, some of the links are crushed and spokes are broken, so I ditch my wrecked baby at Carlton and Church and walk the rest of the way.

Well, I said to myself that I'd ride this bike until it fell apart, and now, damn near its tenth birthday, it really did, or as conclusively as it ever would. It's kind of a now-or-never scenario; yes I could repair it, but it's been falling apart a piece at a time all summer. I'm finally getting into the groove of riding again, and I don't want to have to be dealing with repairs every five minutes.... right? So it's looking official: I'm buying a new bike on Tuesday. WOO HOO! Looking at bikes on the internet is fun. And it's the only fun I can have for now due to the whole no-bike Canada-Day scenario.

Today was also my first Gay Pride parade. Which is odd, yes, but for some reason something weird happens every year that prevents me from going. (I think CRUNCH. SCREECH. qualifies as something weird but fortunately it happened right in the middle of Gaytown. You could say I had no choice but to go to the parade.)

It is now one of my foremost goals to someday walk naked down Yonge Street on a beautiful 31-degree June Sunday, and have ten thousand people cheer me on. That, and to find that girl that literally took my breath away and say, what's that stone in your necklace?

June 28th 2002

BIG TOM BUCHANNAN APPRECIATION DAY
"Oh my god! I can't even say Haiku!"

June 27th 2002

The official site for Star Trek: Nemesis busted out all over the web yesterday, along with the all-new teaser trailer. Did anyone tell me? Nooooooo. But wa-hey. The verdict? Far and away the slickest Star Trek trailer since Undiscovered Country. Not a lot is given away, but the film looks visually dynamic... hey, maybe they've learned how to make something a little more impressive than a TV movie? I'll admit, I watched the sucker about ten times in succession, which I didn't even do for Two Towers or Chamber of Secrets. Coming, as it is, a scant five days before LOTR, it doesn't stand much of a chance in the already-insane Christmas market (Bond! Harry! Ents!), so it looks like this really will be the last hurrah for the Next Gen guys.

Rick McCallum sez: yes, the Ewok movies and cartoons (and the Droids as well) will come to DVD after Episode III.

June 25th 2002

New in the Tederick.com Theatre: VCR4x, for a limited time only.

Tederick.com officially salutes Mark's triumphant return from the centipede-infested jungles of Bolivia!

Tederick.com offers the following advice to anyone turning 30 today: RUN LOGAN RUN!!!

Can't fucking believe I missed Harrison Ford in T.O. yesterday. Good news is, Starwars.com has confirmed the hiring of Frank Darabont to write Indy 4, and adds that Frank Marshall will return as producer. Sorry Rick!

And now, CHECK THIS SHIT OUT:

The new trailer's decent, mostly footage from the extended preview from a few months ago.

NOTE: Because The Man With The Golden Gun has been pulled from shelves and will be re-released in late October at a lower price point, DVD #100 will be the second-place poll winner, Rashomon. At least, that's how I foresee remembering it.

June 24th 2002

KILL THE ALLIGATOR AND RUN

Fans of John Williams' score for Episode II should sign this petition to get an "Ultimate Edition" 2-CD release of the complete work. Never mind the various dogma items in the petition; there seems to be some confusion among the fans regarding the scoring of Reel 6.

A bizarre bit of related news: Williams will only be writing 40 minutes of the score for Chamber of Secrets; his work will then be orchestrated for the entire film by William Ross. Perhaps due to Mr. Williams' ridiculous schedule of late?

June 23rd, 2002

So here's what happened.

By last night I've pretty much decided, with conviction bordering on fundamentalist zeal, that I'm going to skip the Baby-Stealin' Gypsies screening. A cluster of factors involved, but the primary elements being the lateness of the hour, my general enh-ness towards the film and festivities, and the nature of the presentation itself.

"Full On," for those who don't know, will (I am told via e-mail) involve the presentation of a series of the festival's films, projected on a screen while a DJ spins new and innovative music. And from this granule of information alone, I can quickly deduce that by no stretch of the imagination will the films themselves be the point of the evening; at best they will be sharing the focus of the audience with several other simultaneous, but unrelated, points of stimuli.

As late as 6:00 last night, when Steve calls to ask if I'm going, I tell him I'm not. Then a few hours later Dave calls and gives a moving and empassioned speech about why I must attend this screening. Fine. The car arrives literally at the moment when it would have become too late for me to make it down in time. Kismet, yes? I proceed.

I meet up with Daniel at the door. I don't know what I expect, but...

...what happens is this: they show a bunch of shit on a tiny screen in the corner of a stage, while the DJ spins his tunes and shrieks into the microphone for the assembled masses to stop watching the films and fucking dance. They do.

The show's supposed to start at 11:00; it's now 1 in the morning and my film (which isn't listed in the program, but that's okay, because the program apparently has no basis in discernable reality) has yet to appear. They've just got done showing - no exaggeration here - 25 minutes of various smokestacks flatulating noxious fumes skyward, a "film" (and I use the term as loosely as I possibly can without spelling it backwards) that has successfully erradicated over half the already-meagre audience attending the event. Then comes Sporco - yay Sporco! - and then

What was scientifically fascinating about this presentation was that what little they showed of my film amounted to about 45 seconds of the film itself, followed by a 1-minute credit roll, and a 45-second post-credits blooper, meaning that narrative was eclipsed by non-narrative in my particular case by a ratio of 9:21. Which, for the avant garde, must be some sort of accomplishment. The urge to run out into the street and shout I'VE ARRIVED!!! is overwhelming.

Did they tell me I was going to be video noise for a platespinner and a guy on bongos: yes. Did they tell me they wouldn't bother to show the whole movie: no. Am I glad nobody I know came to the screening except Daniel: oh fundamentally so.

The overwhelming capacity for my life to go funky is enthralling. What will they think of next?

June 22nd, 2002

Yep, it's official, my parents don't "get me." I can see the not-liking-Star-Wars thing, but the grimace upon seeing the Nude-ro? Makes me wanna throw a VCR out the window.

Only took me ten days to get through the second season of Buffy... why? Because it's just that good.

June 21st, 2002

It is with great sadness that I mark the passing of Timothy Findley, who achieved the neat trick (in my life anyway) of transcending the whole English class reading list stigma and actually contributed one of my favourite novels ever, Headhunter. Anyone who hasn't had a look at it will find it worth their time, as are The Last of the Crazy People, Ashes to Ashes, and The Wars, and Pilgrim ain't bad either.

Saw Minority Report today. Got very excited when Steve Harris (the only black character in the film) gave his first report, but this later turned out to not be what the title was referring to at all, damn it. But here's a review anyway. Warning: some spoilers present.

Jango Fett with removable head: BEST FIGURE EVER.

McDonalds has brought out their take on the Veggie burger, featuring Yves' delicate work in the patty. Haven't tasted one yet, but I'll let you know.

June 20th, 2002

Success! The Chamber of Secrets trailer has finally been released online. The entire Dobby thing is still blatantly, upsettingly wrong, but things improve steadily from there. The duel scene looks brilliant, and I'm liking Harry's new Man Voice. Evidently Professor McGonagall will now be giving the dissertation on the Chamber, which is a shame, because I was looking forward to seeing Binns. No sign of Peeves or cat-faced Hermione, and barely a whisper of Aragog or Lockhart, but m-hey, beggers can't be choosers. And the final shot is a nice bit of deception - they've used a visual effects shot, without the visual effects.

June 19th, 2002

The Jason L. Gorber Testimonial:

"Por Que?"
Nay.
"Pour Quoi?"
WHA!!

This concludes the Jason L. Gorber testimonial.

June 18th, 2002

More Indy IV: definitely shooting summer 2004 for a July 4th 2005 release. Meaning yes, we will be coping with both the last Star Wars movie and the last Indy movie within six weeks of each other. And Sean Connery will be returning to his role as Henry Jones Sr.... although my guess would be, in a somewhat ghostly fashion.

WAIT A MINUTE - you know what Indy IV means? INDIANA JONES ACTION FIGURES THAT DON'T COST THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!

Speaking of action figures that cost three hundred dollars:

Mwa ha ha ha.

The Back to the Future trilogy DVD set has finally landed a street date: December 17th. And Brotherhood of the Wolf finally hits plastic on October 1st.

June 17th, 2002

I WANT TO SEE THE TRAILER AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE SCOOBY FUCKING DOO!!!

Sez Spielberg, the arguments have already begun regarding the eventual shooting format for Indy IV: digital or film. I would expect Lucas to take the trophy on this one, but ya never know - SS fights like a girl, with all the requisite clawing and biting.

Gee, I might have to start getting excited about all this Indy stuff one of these days.

So suddenly I'm really craving the Director's Edition DVD of Star Trek II. What's that about? And it's streeting on August 6th, the same day as Simpsons Season 2 and LOTR-FOTR. Bloody expensive day at the horsetrack.

June 14th, 2002

Stupid Links galore!

HERE you can make yourself up as a South Park character. (Here's me:)

HERE is my favourite personal blog, and it just happens to be written by Wesley Crusher. It's a coinky, honest.

HERE is a blog that proves that tederick.com makes hella lotta sense and I'll be damned if anyone else says otherwise. No more bitchin' about random comments, 'kay?

Attack me: 13.
Attack my parents: 1. Progress!

Golden Gun. HONESTLY.

June 13th, 2002

As avid readers of my DVD Profile know (that's all of you, isn't it?), I'm fast approaching DVD #100. So in an effort to curb the fit of procrastination that has marked my DVD collection for the past six months, DVD 100 will be one of ten titles I have been putting off for a while, to my great disgrace. And the good news: you get to choose! Take the poll below, it'll be open until Friday night.

(If the poll is not visible, don't panic. It will probably come back later.)

June 12th, 2002

One month, 12 screenings, a whole lotta clones.

June 11th, 2002

Royally unamused by Warner Brothers' stunt with the new Harry Potter trailer, and delivered news of yet another MSCL DVD delay, at least I have the Season 2 Buffy DVD set to fall back on. It all comes together here: Season 2 set the standard for the series.

June 10th, 2002

Okay, maybe it's not a "Stupid" Link per se, but I'm just so galldarned proud: www.sharknet.net

Now this is a Stupid Link: Determine your compatability with Natalie Portman! I nailed an astonishing 99% on Physical... actually I guess that's not too astonishing. Bunch of other celebs here, too, if you care.

June 9th, 2002

Ah, 21. My lucky number. Such a lovely number, 21. Has a nice, round, not-a-minor-any-more-in-any-sense ring to it, doesn't it? 21. It's all good.

Another Star Wars first: did you ever think you'd hear a film that has grossed $250 million in under four weeks be described as a colossal disappointment?

June 8th, 2002

NEW SPOILER POLICY:

"It's not a spoiler until shooting starts."

Episode III doesn't go before the cameras until next summer, so in the meantime it's all just folklore and speculation. The bigger piece of news these days is that, as I'd hoped, the Clone Wars will come to their decisive end at the beginning of Episode III. With Obi-Wan and Anakin emerging from the conflict as celebrated war heroes, we'll be primed to plunge into the descent into darkness that Lucas has long promised, which will be presented on a far smaller scale than the epic conflicts of Attack of the Clones.

I'm starting to wonder things, like:

Will Anakin take down Mace? And if he uses a red sabre to do it, will it clash with Mace's purple?

Will the marriage still be a secret? Will Ani and Padme have been sneaking regularly to the broom closet during war briefings to play "hide the lightsabre?"

Will Anakin know about the pregnancy, or not? If not, then Episode III might be the first Star Wars film to take place over a period of time longer than a week.... cue time-lapse dissolves through Natalie's belly growth...

Will R2 retain his memory of the prequels? (I know Lucas has said he won't; I'm not convinced.)

Of course, what'll be fun in three years is going back over this and seeing that even the precepts behind the questions are flung widely from the mark.

June 6th, 2002

Be it known everywhere that I have purchased Jorg Sacul for more money than I have, that he is dangling from my wall right now, and that he is waiting for the inevitable moment when I shall tear his package asunder and set him free to direct my action figures in battle forevermore.

June 5th, 2002

If you haven't looked recently, it's worth a quick trip to the Toht Fan Page, where reader Justin Humphreys has boosted my supply of Toht and Lacey related images quite considerably. Some great new shots of the wax head melting, and a couple of images of Lacey in other roles. Thanks Justin!

So now I drink my tea out of a Clonetrooper mug, thus officially cementing the Clonetrooper as one of my leading Star Wars fetish icons. It was so simple when I was a kid and I only had the A-Wing and Jabba's Palace to worry about... Now with TC-14, Obi-Wan, lightsabres, Zam, and the pesky clones running around.... well.... it's starting to look like Star Wars in here.

June 3rd, 2002

It's been one of those days. So I made a movie:

GOD GRUDGE MATCH
directed by McB

It could be called Bone Daddy 3... or it could be called something else entirely.

Oops, I did it again:

That's It, I Quit
directed by McB

Just about too much happy for me:

June 2nd, 2002

Yep, rolled into double-digits today. But that was after a week - seven long, horrible days - of not watching Attack of the Clones. That counts for something, doesn't it? Shouldn't it? Wouldn't it?