August 31st 2002Boy did I go see Fear dot Com. Boy did I. You want to read seven paragraphs of unparalleled invective? Hit it. I'd like to send out a big thanks to everyone who's expressed interest in the status of Bone Daddy and the Fourth Reich in the past few months. I've updated the Official Site's news page HERE, which should answer some of your questions. August 30th 2002 Represented above would be my lovely new Buffy doll. Why? Cuz I have now officially been a Scoob for a whole darn year. And what a year! The first four months, where I was watching a new episode five days a week, were the best part.  Now tell me that Buffy, Quentin, and Jango don't make for a trio you wouldn't want to meet in any dark alleys. I like the fact that Buffy and Jango look suitably hard-ass, while Tarantino just looks bewildered.  "Hello, stranger..." Here's a snap of the new Scimitar-class Romulan warbird from Nemesis. Does it match up to its predecessor? Hellllllllllllllllll no, but the Next Gen warbird design is one my favourite spacecraft ever, so there was a lot to live up to. So because I just can't get enough of web design I was up into the wee hours last night working on yours truly, version 9.0 of T.C. It'll be a while before you get a peek... but I think you'll like it when you see it. All in all, that wasn't a bad week (he says as he jinxes himself up the yinyang). August 27th 2002I always said that Hilary would become an icon someday, and now she has. Check it:  Crazy body-piercing blue-haired chickiepie.
I will allow that I am officially coming way late to the comics table, and I apologize to the vanguards of the art form who feel I have yet to establish my lesbo street cred... er, comic street cred. But I'm here and I already had the tights, for to show off my secular genital mutilation with. So it's gonna be hell to get rid of me. What else...
Miss Star Wars. Want more Star Wars now now. With the vwimm and the Natalie and the crazy Dexter Jettster. Sigh. (Or shall I say: Saga.) To coin a horriphrase, ten days till the end. And of course the end is never the end, it's just the beginning of the really painful "go away! go away! leave me alone for chrissakes!" phase. But the good news is that the site proper is basically good to go. Here's Dawn looking freakishly grown up and taller than her sister which is wrong wrong wrong:  And here's the link to preorder the Buffy Musical soundtrack, with the extra special good news of some tracks from "Hush," "The Gift," and "Restless." Will the official version be as much fun as my bootleg version? Only time will tell, and my (ENTIRELY NON-PROFIT JOSS YOU GREEDY BASTARD!!) bootleg will remain available to all purists who seek it. Hmmm. I love these days when the column expands in unpredictable ways. August 26th 2002
Score -1 for the CBS background checkers.... It seems Survivor 5's young Brian is a former porn star, along with his appearances on Doogie Howser. (And what does that say for the background checkers on Doogie Howser?) In other news, forget the Tanya Vance tragedy - yes her Dad died, but it happened three days after the conclusion of filming, putting her back in the running for the top spot. August 22nd 2002 20th Century Fox was nice enough to put the promo reel of X2 that was shown at the San Diego Comic Con a couple weeks back online at their site... It's fucking great. Of course by this time next year we're all gonna be way sick of comic books and comic book movies but for right now, things are looking good. Can't wait to see what Hulk looks like.... will Ang Lee have the sense to retain the ripped purple pants? Word is beginning to spread across the city like a wave: Mark has found an apartment. Actually Mark's found a lot of things this week. Have I found an apartment? Technically no. Am I even looking? Well not at the moment, I can barely find time to dress myself in the morning. But once it is done - oh baby - Askewathon beware. Some people ask me why this web site isn't updated once a day. In this case it's because I really wanted to have that image of Obi-Wan below, but couldn't take the picture till Wednesday. So like any Great Artist, I waited to finish the work. Otherwise, refer to the "can't dress myself" clause above.... working too hard.... brain hurted.... can't see..... don't warn the tadpoles.... August 18th 2002 Fourteen good reasons I deserve the $70 Obi-Wan mini-bust, even though it isn't my birthday:
For some reason today I spent a lot of time thinking about throwing a View Askewathon, which will probably happen before My So-Called Marathon and be slightly less arduous (and three hours shorter). God I gotta get myself an apartment. But here's the key: I gotta get myself a good apartment. Cuz fuck this shit.
I think the script I will write about the romantic comedy foibles of my friends should be called Whiplash. This occured to me on the subway and is totally unrelated to anything in the concept of the script at all, but it's got the right feel to it. And as Dave articulated yesterday, Title Come First. But before that, as suggested by Jason, I shall get a shirt. The front of the shirt sez:
The back of the shirt sez:
Projects, projects, so many projects. (Coffee, coffee, so many coffee.) What else... what else.... right, Blue Crush. Abandon ye pretensions all who enter, for here is the review. August 16th 2002Goodbye, goldilocks, farewell, golden bloody tresses. Lay the odds now: will Matt survive the next twenty-eight days? Betting lines will be open till midnight.  Look what they did to my girl... Do you think Clark will take advantage of the situation and give Lana a good Superfucking? Find out on the action-packed season premiere of Smallville.... Wil Wheaton reports that his cameo has been excised from Star Trek 10. There goes the only reason to see the movie! DAMN. The first cut was reportedly three hours long and they've trimmed it by 48 minutes already. If they shave it down to an hour and forty like they have with the last three, I'll be right bloody pissed. Didn't anyone at Paramount bother to see Lord of the Rings? Here's where we say DOUBLE DAMN! George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola departed from Toronto on Tuesday in a chartered classic locomotive, heading for the Rockies. Did I know? Was I informed? Noooooooooooooooooooooo. Time for a Great Train Robbery. August 15th 2002 Get yer Survivor 5 castaways!  It was a motley crew trotted out this morning, featuring a plethora of J-names, a surplus of over-40 contestants, and the first asian-american to appear on Survivor. Yes, the Black Ball was there - I shall not speak her name again for those who do not wish to be spoiled (boy you've been yelling at me a lot lately) - and baseball player Carey Shuler was not there, indicating that she may be the castaway who was booted prior to filming for "bad behaviour." Among the notable hopefuls:
Hate to make guesses this early in the game but my money's on the sweet-talkin' preacher man. Who's gonna vote off a priest? Gaze at the loveliness at cbs.com/survivor, and note that the tribes haven't even been hinted at - the castaways are separated by gender only. Theories: 1) no explanation, 2) no tribes at the start of the game, 3) gender-lines tribes at the start of the game.... August 14th 2002Delighted to see that Kevin Smith will be appearing in the Daredevil movie, which I am now officially rooting for (based entirely on its underdog, release-it-on-Valentine's-Day status). Meanwhile, hang on to your wigs and keys: the Survivor 5 cast will be announced tomorrow a.m. I'm sure I'll be on here bitching about them by about ten o'clock. August 13th 2002Snapshot of the Day:  August 12th 2002Call it a full roster: Adam, too, is returning in whatever Big Bad Hall of Fame episode(s) Joss Whedon has planed for Buffy. Say it with me now: Warren, Glory, Adam, Faith, Drusilla, and..... well, the Master is only a rumour at this point but c'mon, it's a no-brainer. The Luke Perry thing, on the other hand, looks like a fake. And speaking of Luke Perry: sending the love out to m'man Brandon! Who fell off a cliff once and it was really scary. August 10th 2002and with a single keystroke, what once was rent is again made whole. August 8th 2002(a man screams so loud, he splits a web site in two) So all in all, I ended up seeing Episode II a total of 14 times,
4 shy of the count for Phantom Menace. I guess that's the notable difference
between a summer when your life literally has no meaning or purpose, and a
summer where you're busier than fuck.
I had a great time over the weekend trimming 5½ minutes out of the "fine" cut of Bone Daddy 2.... kind of like ripping off a scab that had been bugging me for months. The first act really kicks now. Still no confirmed completion date but things are accelerating quite a bit right now, hopefully I'll have more info soon. Keep your eye on the site.... 
August 7th 2002And meanwhile, here's Spy Kids 2. I loves tha' Spy Kids. August 6th 2002Ladies, ladies, ladies! Get your asses to your local DVD emporium and crack open the wallet! It's Buy Yourself a DVD Day! Fellowship of the Ring, The Wrath of Khan (here's a review), and the second season of The Simpsons all plunk themselves down on the shiny disks today, leading to many hours (13 plus extras, by my count) of entertaining viewage. Which isn't to say there hasn't been entertaining viewage already, cuz the DVD gods have laughed at me and made me buy and watch all five View Askew flicks in the past week. And as is generally the case when one concentrates so specific a study in so focused a time frame, I now feel like I Know Everything. Survivor 5 cast will be announced next Thursday, which one can guess means the website will go online that day too. Got a good feeling about this one. August 5th 2002One question answered: Steven Spielberg has said he's willing to shoot Indy IV digitally if that's what Lucas wants. (And we all know what Lucas wants.) Meanwhile, rumours are flying that the Indy trilogy will hit DVD at the end of next year (hopefully with the remainder of the Young Indys in tow). I'd call that a tad early from a marketing standpoint (the best time would be the Christmas before the release of Indy IV) but hey, I'll take it if I can get it. Now playing in the Tederick.com Theatre.... Cobra Commander is Gonna Buttfuck Homer Simpson! God is angry. August 3rd 2002Please don't read this until you've seen the movie: my Signs review. August 1st 2002August. Cripes. Early-breaking news: Episode II's DVD release has been confirmed for November 12. (Happy birthday, Babs Yuen!) Check out these specs. Woo hoo! The only apparent disappointment is the lack of a companion doc to Episode I's outstanding "The Beginning." It's come to my attention that we've just passed the 100-year anniversary of the incident that lead to the coining of the term "teddy bear." Without which, of course, there would be no Tederick.com, the namesake website of the single greatest teddy bear name ever invented by a 1-year-old ever in the world ever. So let's raise a mug to old Teddy - he done good when he didn't shot that bear. (Well okay we all know he shot the bear. But it's a cute story.) I checked out A Little Princess last night and I am now beyond enthused about Alfonso Cuaron's taking on Prisoner of Azkaban. He's going to smack this one out of the park. More excited about that than Chamber of Secrets! For reasons too complicated to go into I'm reading Jerry Springer's autobiography. And yes: it is written as a conversation between Jerry and God, on a talk show that God hosts, where the audiences chant Yah-weh! Yah-weh! Yah-weh! ARCHIVE |
She deserves a