September 19th 2002
It's my birthday! woohoo! Yep I'm 26. Fortunately still comfortably within the "mid 20s" and not yet verging on the "late 20s," I nevertheless must confess that I thought I'd be much further along by now than I am. But, if there's one thing I've conclusively come to understand in the past year, it's that nothing ever goes the way you think it will. Which doesn't sound like much of a statement, certainly, but to truly understand the meaning of that is an entirely different order than just to let it roll of the tongue. Nothing ever goes the way you think it will. I'm surrounded by a comfortable coterie of other mid-20s who, thankfully, are finding this period of human existence to be just as bewildering as I am. And to be in the company of good friends like this, under any circumstances... well... that's wine of a fine vintage, it is. Now if I could just get my 26-year-old ass into a frickin' apartment, all would be good. For those keeping score at home, I was born at 11:53 in the morning. I'm going to ride my bike, watch some form of Star Wars, and do a little cooking later, and that's pretty much gonna be it for the big 2-6. And then of course.... mwee hee hee hee... I get to watch Survivor. And Survivor Day comes with an additional birthday present from Mark Burnett: he confirmed recently that he would like to have Canadian competitors on a future incarnation of American Survivor, and that he intends to pursue the matter with CBS. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha. When I get my million I am fucking OUT of this one-horse town. In the meantime, there's Survivor 5 to think about, which I have been anticipating with the ferocity of a crazed bengal tiger. The male/female thing was apparently a smokescreen, although info about tribes still hasn't leaked out. It's all happening tonight, so here's the pre-show warmup: This season's motley crew has been described as a bunch of money-driven backstabbing Richard Hatch wannabes. After reviewing their stats, I come to the following conclusions. Texans are represented in red, the weight loss team is in yellow, and potential distance-runners (from where I'm sitting, at least) are in green. 
Brian a.k.a. The Porn Star Doesn't have a chance. Has a brutalist edge to him that will make him out to be the new Joel. But friends reported that he lost some weight out there, so he may last past the merge. 
Clay a.k.a. The Keith The whacko who brought a golf club as his luxury item and, like our beloved Keith, thinks he will impress his fellow castaways with his Thai culinary skill. Thinks he's up to the youngsters in physical contests... may wash out early. 
Erin a.k.a. The Implants Jeff Probst planted the point that when the rest of the body loses weight, the implants remain the same... which may mean Erin lasts a while, or may mean Burnett & Co. are up to their old tricks. 
Ghandia a.k.a. The "Fat" Girl All about representing for the plus-size chicks, but if she's her own idea of heavy, who knows what she's talking about. Could potentially zoom way under the radar. 
Helen a.k.a. The Debb No one likes a Debb, and Helen's abrasive enough for two. She, too, however, falls into the "lost a lot of weight in Thailand" category, so who knows. 
Jake a.k.a. Big Jake The oldest castaway, Jake has an easy manner about him reminiscent of Big Tom. Still, he bears a marked similarity to B.B., and we all know how that turned out. 
Jan a.k.a. The Southern Mother If raising five children didn't scare her, the Thailand Brat Pack won't stand a chance. Still, marathon athletics aside, I don't think Jan's going to pull it out this time. 
Jed a.k.a. The Jesus ALERT! ALERT! Religious fanatic on the loose! This guy's so effusively pro-Christian, even Pastor John might get turned off. 
John a.k.a. The Pastor Just call him a Christian For A New Generation. Everything about this guy reads wrong - until you hear him espouse largely on how the only rules he will be playing this game by are "outwit, outplay, outlast," with all ethical / moral complications falling secondary. A preacher with an inner snake? How can he lose? My blind pick for the Big One. 
Ken a.k.a. The Cop The NYPD's first Survivor representation comes loaded with a bio chock full of 9/11 references, but his easygoing nature could keep him in the game for a while. 
Penny a.k.a. Sweet Pea Going for the Elisabeth / Neleh card, and doesn't have the goods to pull it off. But then again, she was on the cover of American Cheerleader Magazine and her luxury item is a pair of pajamas. What else can I say? 
Robb a.k.a. The Dufus Boy oh boy, this guy's going to get annoying after six consecutive seconds. Describes himself as "girl crazy," which screams "beard" at me. 
Shii Ann a.k.a. She Devil Finally, a strong female character who ain't Jerri - the self-confessed shit disturber will fly in this game, if she can keep her obsessive strategic nature to herself while simultaneously manipulating the players. If she can pull out the goods, there will be no stopping her. 
Stephanie a.k.a. The Firefighter A wacky free spirit waiting to take her clothes off? Nah. 
Tanya a.k.a. The Outie The first castaway outed is among the most confusing.... her ongoing work with sexually abused children could either help or hinder. Might not be wily enough for the game. 
Ted a.k.a. The Force A powerful motivator who lost quite a bit of weight overseas, Ted could easily rally his team to become a dominating leader. Let's call him potential winner #3. Okay, them's the peeps. Here are some potential plays: The Texans Get Together. This potentially-hilarious coup has the four texans forming a bond and trying to overthrow the rest of the group. Doesn't really work out but it's fun to watch. The Power of the Pastor. John uses his preacherly mojo to throw Jed under his thrall and uses the young surfer boy like a puppet. The Old People Rule. There's a good representation of plus-40s this time around; they might succeed in doing what Samburu's oldsters attempted last year. Shii Ann Destroys the Universe. Using her estimable powers of the dark side, Shii Ann eradicates the island and all the players. Jeff Probst Joins the Game. A special immunity challenge allows one player to swap out with Probst for the remainder of the game. The player becomes the host and Probst joins the tribe. Having been through four previous games, Probst kicks the ass we always knew he could and wins with Survivor's first unanimous final vote. Well, it's all coming to a head tonight. Check back Saturday for the post-game wrap-up and some real predictions based on SURVIV.ORg science. And now on a completely Survivor un-related note:
September 17th 2002Yep, I got nuthin'. September 14th 2002What? What? A NEW CUSTOM FIGURE?!  Yessssssssss!!! Well not a "new" custom so much as a "I finally got off my ass and finished what I started two years ago" custom. It's Bone and Slick, as they appeared in that vintage flick, Bone Daddy and the Big Score. You can read all about it, and see the high-res shit, by clicking right here. But wait that's not all! I finally added a snap of the card for my Episode I "me" figure. And yes, at some point today I will try to track down an Episode II Obi-Wan so I can start the Episode II figure for the same line. Does this signify a return to my nerdiest hobby? Well yes and no. There isn't anything particularly important I want to do in the Star Wars realm at the moment (except for a fucking cloak for the 12" Anakin, unless Hasbro finally deigns to do one, the bastards), but I am working on a diorama of myself, Steve and Meredith at the moment. And I only did these Bone Daddy figs to get 'em out of the way, so I can get to what I really want to do, the Bone Daddy 2 figures, which will be created at a larger scale and in, shall we say, more "dynamic" positions. Ooh, and I really oughta do that Michael Bay standing on a pile of dismembered GI Joe dolls holding the limited-edition 4-disk DVD set of Pearl Harbor in one hand and a bag full of cash in the other. And the bag is dripping with viscous blood. Maybe I could even rig up a pump in the interior of the model, so that the blood flow is ongoing, never ceasing.... Mmm. This could be good. September 13th 2002I'm freaking exhausted. There's really no way around it, I feel like the life has been completely drained from my body. And violently so, by Alive, last night at the festival. I did double duty at the Fest yesterday. Here's the review for Alive, and here's the far-superior Bend it Like Beckham. New Chamber of Secrets trailer hit the web today, and it's a marked improvement over the teaser - an intensely visual, noirish flick is in the making here. Warners are being real pricks about downloading this time around (the direct link is here, finally), but here are some snaps:
September 12th 2002Tederick.com is proud to present, below, my brother's letter of resignation from the CMA. Please bear in mind that one of the CMA's mottos is "Shaping the Future," and you will have a clue as to the intended tone of this note. Please also bear in mind that this letter was handed around the office as a flyer before he gave it to his supervisor. 
Click to enlarge Also new today in the Tederick.com Theatre is a little experimental flick I put together last week under the heading of "weird things Matt does when he's been in his room for too long." It's called Portrait of an Artist in my Neighbour's Back Yard (thanks Chris)... make of it what you will. (And no: I do not routinely record phone calls.) With the bootleg release of the Attack of the Clones DVD commercial yesterday, we now know five of the eight deleted scenes:
Still nary a whisper as to whether or not the sequence of Threepio getting his clothes will be added or not. September 11th 2002"Only the best art can order the chaotic tumble of events. Only the best can realign chaos to suggest both the chaos and the order it will become." Don't fear. And please, please, please stop making excuses. Do what you do, be what you are. Be proud, be whimsical, make experiments. Make experience. Don't lie, don't hurt, don't try to make others feel stupid just to cover your own insecurity. Make love, run naked, take a deep breath.
September 9th 2002ATTACK OF THE CLONES IMAX NOVEMBER 1ST!! And make sure you understand me here: Attack of the Clones is being re-released in full IMAX format in the U.S. and Canada on November 1st. Clonetroopers eight stories tall.... And by association, Padme's nipples a good half-storey tall.... Could a boy be happier? And 12 days before the DVD release. Looks like that viewage
tally is going to keep climbing. Maybe I'll get to 21 after all. Nice that
they're marketing it against the DVD release of Spider-Man.
September 7th 2002 I think that's going to go on my tombstone... Meanwhile, I smacked the Film Festival hard, saw Gerry, and yes - the good moments just keep getting better - got to shake hands with Gus Van Sant. It's turning into quite a year. You'll see me at the festival wearing my lemon-yellow Muriel T-shirt... order yours today in the deadend.com online store... okay I'm offa this kick. Meanwhile in the it-never-rains-it-pours category we got a lot of content spilling out over the past couple of days. Here are a gaggle of new pics of the cast of Chamber of Secrets, including Action Hero Harry, our first look at Lucius Malfoy (who looks like a very pissed off elf), a Ginny Weasley who isn't nearly as cute as she was last year, and Hermione (just cuz).  Which all goes to prove that if Harry Potter had been around when I was a kid, I would have been a far happier, better-adjusted pre-adolescent. (You can see the larger pics at The Leaky Cauldron, your one-stop-shop for all Potterthings.) Skipped the first midnight madness but I'll being doing one tonight. September 6th 2002 So it's up, it's launched, it's flying its crazy waves all over the world wide web. It's called deadend.com. I don't usually drag Bearshark's stuff onto Tederick.com so you probably haven't had a look at much of our stuff, but you should have a look at this one.... not because it's any more special a project than any of the others, but jesus, I've spent so much time talking about it that you might as well see it so we can talk about it some more and I can tell you how I feel about it. Plus side 1: I would not have picked up a single comic book this summer if it wasn't for deadend.com. I've had tons of fun doing that. And as one cursory glance at the site will reveal, it is now a veritable panoply of comic book goodness. I'm looking forward to seeing the printed versions of the site's comic book, which should be done sometime in the next couple of days.  Plus side 2: I am no longer planning to head for Botany Bay, leaving all trappings of friends, family and future plans behind me. While deadend.com didn't factor particularly highly in this decision at all, everything became clear in the midst of slaving away on the little sunuvabitch. And I'd just like to say the words: Lightning Bolt from God. Might have resembled a low-amp static charge in the last few months, but it's right back to full vim and vigour. So look out, "the clock is running...!!" Oddly enough this all got started with deadend.com. I mean, everything started here. Spooky. Back when I wore a pager and worked in a courier office, another Lightning Bolt from God smashed through the BCE towers and brought me into the world of professional web design by way of a..... ....well.... it's really easier if I just show the diagram:  In retrospect that diagram isn't really all that helpful because the "me" in the picture isn't actually me. It's someone else. Oddly enough I'm not in that picture, actually. But let's just say I happened on the scene, okay? I happened on the scene, like a clumsy woodsman. All right, let's wrap it up, it's getting near 1:30 in the a.m. and I still haven't found the Interstate. I just keep circling Baltimore... in a big loop... tha'ts what I like to do, I got the hammer down and I just keep driving. Fire up the colortinis, catch the pictures as they fly through the air. "Seymour, you are an odd fellow... but I must say, you steam a good ham." September 5th 2002How can you expect me to update my web site at a time like this???!!All right, this deserves a mention. Filmfest.ca starts its festival coverage today - well, more like in the wee hours of tomorrow morning. For those unawares, this is the gleefully masturbatory film festival review site run by the most gleefully masturbatory fellow I know, Jason "The L. stands for Les Cahiers du Cinema" Gorber. And it'll be webmastered by yours truly until after the fest, which will be the next time Jason gets some sleep. I, of course, continue to disavow the film festival in all its forms, unless of course I get a pass to Punch Drunk Love through some divine providence that I don't think I'm technically even capable of believing in. At which point I will become the Fest's oiled brownhole. (I'm in a ripe mood today, huh?) September 3rd 2002Way to go Paramount - the flood of Trek DVD sets continues unchecked. Today it's Next Generation Season Four. Enjoy! September 2nd 2002 Hey there, sexy... and Willow. Taking on the Obi-Wan/Anakin thang in Season 7 we have our favourite Watcher and former crazed witch back in action. And more good news: Eliza Dushku is confirmed for the last five episodes of the season, along with three appearances on Angel which I guess I'll actually have to watch. Hope everyone's been enjoying their Labour Day weekend. Kind of weird for me because it's probably the first time in my life that I haven't had that "back to school" feeling.... in fact I'm hard-pressed to believe it's Labour Day at all. There's a posse of kids shooting a movie outside my house right now... which is alarming and annoying.... because they look half my age and their equipment is twice as good as mine. Oh and they have a big crew with coffee and doughnuts and gaffer tape. The director is fat and wears a headset. It's all very compelling. Reminds me of the days when I used to make movies. Wait, there's the back-to-school nostalgia... 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