The Phantom Menace is a good Star Wars film.

Attack of the Clones is Star Wars Nirvana.

And I've just come back from Nirvana. It's dark and cold here and I wanna go back!!!!

The costume is lying in crumpled pieces in the midst of the wreckage field, the score is playing. "I don't sleep well any more," but I've seen Star Wars four times and I'm going again tonight.

I have no ability to describe the past few days... other than "Gigantic beach party climaxing in a 2 1/2 hour orgy of Star Wars goodness."

Was I happy? Is the Pope Polish? You bet your sweet ass I was happy. In fact, I'd call Wednesday about as close to bliss as you can get in this world.

Seeing the costume all come together after so much work was amazing. Wednesday morning was the first time I wore all the pieces at once, having completed the boots only a few days before. To say that the outfit is a vast improvement over my attempt at its Episode I incarnation is a significant understatement.

(If it sounds like I'm tooting my own horn, I'm not; most of the costume's excellentness is thanks entirely to Tut. And my hair was all Caitlin. So to them I owe a gigantic debt of gratitude.)

Fuck off and tell me that's not a costume.

The first thing that happened to me after I got out of the car was I got swarmed by Kelloggs women, who proceeded to shovel Star Wars cereal down my throat and take pictures. My hope is that I will end up on a box someday... my suspicion is that I will end up on the cover of a quarterly report.

But the raisin bran was only the beginning.... I got interviewed by CTV, Global, CBC, Space, City, CP24, 104.5, AM640, AM680, and some guy from a Chinese newspaper took my picture. He wasn't the only one; here's the shot that appeared in the Star and the Metro:

Past a point it's all just enjoyable whorage. I mean honestly, you're a whore. But you're having sex every five minutes, so who cares?

The morning was frigid, so all those layers of Jedi clothing came in handy. Then at noon, BAM, the sun came over the building, and the rest of the day was a day at the beach. (The Jedi clothing turned out to be surprisingly airable.) I just basically hung out with some great people, listened to some great tunes, played Epic Duels, meditated, and was at peace.

Me with the incomparable Debbie Isaac...
the only person in line whose costume bested mine

Hilary drums up some support

Jason flies a kite... but where's the Bearshark kite, Jason?
Where's the Bearshark kite?!

Debbie being interviewed for the bazillionth time

Oh and there's something unique on the way. For years, Star Wars fans have been making Star Wars Fan Films, short movies that express their love of Star Wars by attempting to live up to that great name. Soon, Tederick.com will unveil the first VCR Quadrophony Fan Film, written, produced, directed, and performed by Jason Gorber. It's called KEYBOARD. I've seen the rough cut, and it's spectacular. I'll let you know where you can get a copy soon.

The screening went very well. Let me take a moment to give a big shout out to Cineplex, who were absolutely wonderful to us throughout this entire process. I won't forget it. Unfortunately the presentation at the Grande kinda sucked, but we didn't care; we were happy to be there, be together, be watching the film. And of course, it went over like gangbusters. (Although this crowd has a pretty sick idea of what Anakin was doing under the covers while crying his mother's name.)

The Coruscant Chase is rapidly becoming my favourite scene in the movie, other than You Know What. And Zam Wesell is definitely my favourite breakout character. At some point in my life I'll actually get around to reviewing the film properly, but not for a while yet... there's still so much to see and do.

With every drop of love in my heart, I want to give a big thanks to Dancing Ken, Hilary, Debbie, Jason Louie Gorber, Rob, Rich, Kentucky, and everyone else for making this line even more memorable than the last one. Can't wait to do it again in '05....

MORE MEDIA COVERAGE! Boy it's like '99 all over again. Jason and I were in today's Toronto Star, and later I was making rude pelvic gestures in the background of a CBC interview. It's all good. Here's the paper:

24 hours later, the image from the film that's haunting me the most is definitely Vader's hand. It's downright spooky, and I appreciate the increase in technology over the next 25 years.

Meanwhile, the questions keep rising:

1. You're telling me that Owen knows Threepio, yet buys him back unawares 25 years later? Does everyone in this galaxy suffer from inter-trilogy amnesia?

2. If Yoda's that spry, why does he need a cane?

3. Parsing the Art of Episode II, I'm discovering just how many scenes were cut from the film. Lucas and Hales wrote a 3-hour movie, and finely crafted it down to 2 hours and 21. It's still a hell of an epic film, but it's going to make for some nice deleted scenes on the DVD.

BEFORE (around 1:55 p.m.):

AFTER (around 4:30 p.m.):

Not a lot of apparent visual difference between the first and the second image there, but in reality, a world of difference. Everything changed. EVERYTHING.

The movie absolutely rocked. ABSOLUTELY ROCKED. I couldn't even begin to give you a coherent review right now (and I can't begin to describe the agony at having to wait four days to see it again) but I'll give you my first impressions. Here they are, unsorted:

THEY PANNED UP

Yoda fighting like a ninja bunny rabbit

The fucking DEATH STAR!!!!

Yoda trained Dooku, Dooku trained Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon trained Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan trained Anakin, and Anakin is Darth Vader. Wow.

Anakin's new arm!!

"I'm so confused..."

"Why do I have a feeling you're going to be the death of me?"

JAR JAR BINKS BRINGS DOWN THE REPUBLIC!!!

The brilliant pacing of the first half-hour

The pure epic scope of the film... so much plot... so much....!!!

Natalie Portman is the world's hottest babe. And when she was straddling Anakin.... Mm-hmm.

Boba Fett's apartment! The spoiler (summer 2000) was true!

Mace putting his sabre to Jango's throat

The overuse of TPM music

Tony and Ahmed in the nightclub

ZAM WESELL

the Centipedes! They're white!

OH HELL LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR THE WHOLE CORUSCANT CHASE!!! IT'S INCREDIBLE!!

Yoda commanding the clones

Many beheadings

Obi-Wan hugging Dex

Apparently, if you get your arm chopped off by a lightsabre, it ain't such a big deal. Luke was being a wuss.

Digital artifacting!

Boba with daddy's head in his hands....

Yoda using the Force to bring out his sabre... just because he can

Jango's arm-claws

THE JEDI ARE WEAKENING?!

TO BE CONTINUED....

I mean, wow. WOW. I have no ability to discuss the film at length right now, because literally from the end of the Coruscant chase my mind was blown, and stayed blown, with no apparent ability to reassemble itself. Then to my astonishment, just before the end, my mind was blown again - by the Yoda duel, which I have been imagining since I was five and yet could not possibly have envisioned being as cool as this. I was genuinely hyperventilating while it was going on. (And I was actually trembling during Anakin's butcher-job at the Tusken encampment, and later when he gets his arm chopped off.)

Instead I'll talk about the day, which was also incredible. Turbo was done up very nicely and actually appeared quite similar to the Coruscant nightclub. Bathory's costume was even more remarkable in person than in photograph, and I look forward to her taking on Zam Wesell, who I'm fucking in love with at this point. (Hilary's the only person who can say she's got $800 in purple leather standing by, and get away with it.)

I had a thing going on with Darth Vader. Whoever the Vader guy was, his costume was absolutely flawless, and to my surprise, I found that his presence genuinely unnerved me - like some kind of childhood nightmare come true. This continued until I went to take a whiz and entered the bathroom to find Vader in there with his helmet off, hanging out with a couple of Jedi Knights. That was fucking hilarious, but trying to take a leak while the Vader breathing was ongoing from behind me was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. (I have no doubt he would have strangled me, had I failed.)

Hayden's presence was a complete anti-climax, mostly because he was so completely gun-shy that he refused to speak to anyone or let his picture be taken (I took pictures anyway). He said a few words and left; then again at the film, and he left with two minutes to go to the end, kind of annoying for those of us completely enraptured by the movie. (We were.)

I only got as far as the Coruscant chase before I remarked, "I think I love this movie." The love story was surprisingly well-handed, not overdone, with the truly painful dialogue kept to a reasonable minimum. Hayden's voice became whiny once in a while but as a general rule he did well. His scenes with Obi-Wan were the best, and the fine line of their relationship - genuine love vs. ongoing adversarialism - was handled perfectly, just as I'd hoped.

Is Obi-Wan the coolest Jedi ever? OH CLEARLY YES. Ewan kicked serious ass in this movie. The character of Obi-Wan was given very good stead this time around, not veering (as I'd feared) into the "stern master" thing, but actually remaining quite light and playful. He's far and away the best performance in it, just about as cool as I ever could have hoped for, paying off all the faith since Episode I.

I've believed for months that the movie would finally answer my "who owns the clones" question, but hey, it didn't. I mean, the little subterfuge by Obi-Wan on Kamino was great, but who originally ordered them? Palpatine? While Dooku built the separatist army, and all to create a civil war, allowing Palpatine to declare himself Emperor? Well, something like that, I'm sure.

So many questions.... so many questions....

I'll put up the photo gallery soon but right now, I gotta get some sleep.

Absolutely rife with nervous anticipation. It's fucking Christmas morning. That feeling when you wake up, like it's just a normal day, and suddenly your mind locks on what's going on and it can't let go. Energy floods your whole body and you couldn't put yourself back down if someone whacked you over the head with a sledgehammer. Jesus Christ it feels good.

Five hours to go... I've decided to go with the casual/dressy/business attire over the costume, despite the fact that the costume is ready... I'll just enjoy the costume more on Wednesday. (God, my boots kick ass.)

I can't believe this is finally it...

Unbelievable! Ken Churchill is alive! He's outside the Grande, right now! You can go see him! Just like in '99, Ken is lining up for the whole pie... six consecutive days on the street... Wild and wacky.

I of course was planning to circumvent the whole Long Line experience this year, until I found out about the Paramount Nefariosity. After having taken the trip to Sheppard and Yonge, though, I'm damn glad things turned out the way they did. Ken was there, Hilary was there, Adrian, Tragic, and that big posse of people I spent time with in '99 but can never remember the names of. Next week I'll be pretending it never happened, but right now I am in Geek Heaven. People who know who Dermot Crowley is. People who laugh at alliterative puns involving Jango Fett. People who sit on the street in clonetrooper helmets.

Being one of only four theatres in T.O. showing AOTC at midnight on Wednesday, the Grande is understandably selling out its premiere screening fairly quickly. No worries, I got mine. But as of noon today there were only around a hundred left... can't imagine they'll last much longer.

Me grinning cuz the tickets are coming

Here come da tickets here come da tickets

Yes we got tickets!

How good are these things? Fucking fabulous if you ask me. I made the excursion out to Loblaws in the aft to get mine, then went back to buy six more to sell on Ebay and pay for my Sacul figure. Quite a sight, me, Jason, Hilary & co wandering around Yonge Street carrying three hundred dollars worth of cereal. Then after we got ours, Jason, Adrian and I drove around for a few minutes wearing the helmets and blasting the funk. It's funny enough to be a whole movie: just ten minutes of driving, white helmets bopping in unison. It's been a really long time since I've responded to any honking horn with a cheer, and dammit, I missed it.

This is the best picture I took today:

Well shit bitch: I'm seeing Star Wars tomorrow.

My mind is currently failing me in a very large way. I had a great time drumming last night, never more enjoyable when I was actually beating out the main title to Star Wars without anyone noticing. (The rhythm moved me.) Less successful was my attempt to adapt "Anakin's Theme," but that was a gold-star perfection-fest next to my disastrous effort to do a quick rendition of "Across the Stars."

I cannot fucking believe I am seeing a new Star Wars movie tomorrow.

My mind... my Beautiful Mind....

(Can't get the Elephant Love Medley out of my head by the way.... I'm in luuuuuurrrrvvve...)

Got my ticket for the charity screening today! It's getting damn close to the time....

Pretty, aren't they? I am as excited as an anteater in Jason's kitchen.

Let's have a picture of Ewan here:

Love is like oxygen!
Love is a many-splendoured thing!
Love lifts us up where we belong!
All you need is love!