Mark the Calendars
|
 |
A couple of bits of bad news this morning. First, SMG will officially announce her departure from Buffy in the March 7 issue of Entertainment Weekly. Badee badee badee, that's all folks. Did you ever think it would happen on a Wednesday?
(This is the part where I hatch the tear-filled line: "She was with me for such a short time...")
Second (and a bit more bizarre), Eliza Duskhu has signed to headline a pilot being produced by Fox, putting the possibilities of her marshalling a Buffy spin-off very low on the meter. Where do we go from here?
Well, everyone at Mutant Enemy seems agreed that something's going to happen next year, but who knows what. They claim to have a "very definite spin-off idea" but won't peep about it. But hey, as long as Marsters is in, I'm in. Bring on the Dawn...
And yes, in case I haven't mentioned it before, that new MacGyver show is actually happening. With Richard Dean Anderson as "Uncle MacGyver," helping a brand new MacGyver solve problems for the Phoenix Foundation using PVC pipe, palm fronds and the angle of the sun.
Finally, some news on the artistic integrity front: David Fincher has dropped out of Mission Impossible 3. Yay! Now I won't have to see it.
Okay, I'm happy to admit it: there were moments of pure glee in last night's Smallville. Okay. I can deal with Christopher Reeve, but if you play the Superman theme, I'm a goner.
Tasteless
Feb 25 2003 - 9:45
p.m.
Okay, here's the freak of the week: I've lost my sense of taste. I know what you're thinking: "the guy likes Survivor and brunettes, what kind of taste did he have to begin with?" But I'm not talking about my admittedly-tenous aesthetic sense. N'no, I'm talking about my actual sense of taste. The one that was, until yesterday, firmly ensconced in my mouth.
My sense of taste is near zero. And my sense of smell. Actually it's probably more likely the reverse, with smelllessness leading to tastelessness. I find it faintly alarming. I noticed the problem last night while eating a stoned wheat thin, when I suddenly realized I couldn't perceive the salty goodness.
With taste eliminated, it's amazing how quickly one becomes averse to eating. The actual process of it, flavour-based pleasure notwithstanding, is really rather gross. I put this thing in my mouth and mash it around until it's a blobby paste and then I induct it into my belly. For to what, I ask? Everything becomes texture, and most textures are pretty disturbing. The abovementioned stoned wheat thin, for example, was kind of like eating dust. A delicious raspberry smoothie slides insidiously down the throat like a cold snake. As for peanut butter.... let's not go there.
I'm reasonably confident that this is all due to my irritating little cold, and everything will be back up to SOP soon. It's not like last year at all, when Adam's taste buds fell out. I hope.
to be continued....
Bold New Frontier
Feb 25 2003 - 10:15
a.m.
 |
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine hits DVD today, starting (as all things should) with Season One. As usual, I've blathered all about it. Not as usual, the pictures are bigger and the blather is longer. Why? Cuz there's more to talk about on that old Cardassian mining station than there ever was on the Enterprise. Read all about it right here. And re those DVDs: kudos to Paramount for the bitchin' new package design, but a distinctive thumbs down for the lame menus, which somehow manage to be visually simpler than the TNG ones, and yet more confusing to use. Improvement please!
I'm Fairly Certain I Don't Like Firefly
Feb 24 2003 - 8:15 p.m.
Third time's the charm - I caught a glimpse of Buffy in her third season and was fairly certain I'd never be into that... and look what's happened. Took a crack at Angel after I succumbed to Buffy and thought to m'self, naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. And yet. And yet!
I'm about halfway through Angel Season One on DVD and it's pretty stylin'. I knew the Doyle thing was going to happen and yet it still rocked me out, but not nearly so much as "I Will Remember You." That damn near killed me. Of course I have no tolerance for Buffy tears. But still.
"Storyteller," tonight's episode, warrants the greatest quantity of "meh" that I can ascribe to a Buffy episode, which basically is "boy that was a great episode but still I feel a bit meh." I still view Andrew as the lesser king amongst the Nerds of Doom, so his storyline doesn't absorb me very much. Always nice to see one of those very, very rare Mutant Enemy logo soundover swaps ("Weeeee are as godsssssssss!") and the teaser was just a kick in the head. But I'm worried about Spike and puzzled about Anya - did anyone else notice that last week, when Willow turned to "the most powerful person in the room" for energy, she zapped Kennedy and Anya? Signif?
Well, anyway. Meh.
It should be noted that most of my meh comes from a rather irritating bit of allergy snot that's been pissing me off all day. I got some good work done in the morning but the afternoon was basically a write-off as I lay around feeling sorry for myself and watching Spy Kids 1 n' 2.
Well anyways. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning, providing Prick isn't on for yet another all-night TV marathon (four days running now) and the psycho cat keeps it in check for the evening. (Which she does, no worries. She's quite adorable really in that regard. But once in a while, I wake up to her sitting on my head. Which I suppose could be a sign of affection, but is also a very effective method of murder. Given the number of times she's tried to kill me during the daytime, I can't be too careful.)
"Keira Knightley Nude" remains the big draw here at Tederick.com. Variations of that phrase are three of the top ten search requests that bring folk here. The thing is, as far as I know the only time Keira Knightley was ever nude (well, on film anyway) was in The Hole, and she was a corpse at the time. So today begins the active campaign to get Keira Knightley Necrophilia to the top of the list. If it hits the top, I'll publish the pics.
And tomorrow's the big day.... Deep Space Nine! If you thought my Next Gen reviews were long-winded and hard to read, you ain't seen nuthin'.
[Oh and it's my Mom's birthday tomorrow too. I am a horrible son.]
Starved
Feb 22 2003 - 7:04
p.m.
I went to see Boris' feature film debut last night. I actually enjoyed the flick a lot more than I thought I would... Certainly the best feature I've ever seen that was directed by someone I know. Although when you consider the (gnomish, dingbatted) company in that category, such a thing certainly isn't much of a compliment. I could take the time to come up with a more complimentary compliment, but superlatives are among the many vices I'm attempting to cut from my diet this week so I'll leave it at: the film worked for what it was trying to achieve. 'Nuff said. (No formal review, though, cuz ... well ... that's just icky.)
But I've said it before and I'll say it again: what were they feeding those third years?!
It does, of course raise the ongoing Big Questions which mostly just give me a headache. I've decided to become an atheist and write a book about contract bridge. Either that or a novel about a man trying to kick his porn habit and increase his smack habit, at the same time. You'll be surprised at what ensues.
Officially...
Feb 21 2003 - 10:12
a.m.
 |
The cast list for Prisoner of Azkaban has finally been confirmed, proving rumours that have been floating around for month. Michael Gambon will be stepping into Richard Harris' socks, Gary Oldman will indeed be making a very sinister Sirius Black, and David Thewliss will round out the headliners as Remus Lupin. Timothy Spall is Peter Pettigrew and Pam Ferris is Aunt Marge.
Principal photography "officially" starts on Monday but as we all know, they've been shooting second unit material with the Knight Bus (and Daniel) for a couple of weeks now.
And we don't get to see any of it until summer 2004. Sniff.
As for the Survivor picking, I've already been called a liar, a cheat and a sick, sick freak and it's not even 10:30 in the morning. So maybe I'll give up the ghost on that... I was only doing this for your entertainment. I already know who's going to win, makes no dif to me.
Looks like it's going to be rather pleasant today. Enjoy it while you can - it goes right back to nasty in a few days. (Uh-oh: more predictions! By "it goes right back to nasty," I did not mean to imply that it certainly will go "right back to nasty," only that it possibly could go "right back to nasty," one of an infinite potential string of events of which no living human has any realistic prior knowledge. We're all just people, wending our way through this single focal point in the space-time continuum. No going up, down, backwards or forwards for us, no sir. That is the way of things: the way of the Force.)
Finally, three good words from Joss Whedon: "It's not over." Although how he has any ability to presage that, being locked in this single moment in time with the rest of us, is anybody's guess. Oh and read this.
Go outside!
I'll Only Say It Once
Feb 20 2003 - 3:46
p.m.
Want to win friends and influence people? Need the secrets to successful Survivor prediction? Then you want my Survivor Six Scorecard, the latest analysis of the remaining castaways and their overall chances to do well in the new game. Some of the conclusions may surprise you.
As for tonight's episode, let's make it simple: Jabaru wins Reward, Tambaqui wins Immunity, and Janet is the one to go.
Swish
Feb 20 2003 - 10:52
a.m.
Niiiiiiiiiiiiice - after a few months of thinking it wasn't going to happen, Hasbro and the Cartoon Network have confirmed that Star Wars is coming back to television for the first time since 1986. The animated Clone Wars series should hit the airwaves later this year, a serial of 20 shorts (3 minutes each). Kind of like Dr. Snuggles.
You know how much I hate the Man Without a Spider-Shaped Hat but I'm always delighted to see Alfred Molina getting work, since he's the master. And guess what? Molina's playing Doc Ock in Spidey 2. The only bad news, then, is I guess this means I have to go see the bloody thing. Well.... I've got the cool TV, maybe I'll wait for video. Right Mark?
It's finally happened: someone is suing to get those commercials pulled from the heads of movies. Deep breath in, deep breath out.
Well, that's all the energy I can muster up for the day. I was out playing poker until 3 this morning. I was way down for most of the night but my luck turned around significantly in the last hour and I ended up ahead. For I am Pokermaster.
...And the Number One Reason I'll Never Get
Married....
Feb 19 2003 - 12:38 p.m.
It's hard to be an insistent Star Wars nerd in a post-Joe
Millionaire world.
But hey, at least
I can Photoshop my dreams into reality.
Shazaam
Feb 18 2003 - 6:46
p.m.
Remember back when X-Men trailers really sucked? Not any more, and the newest of the batch is good enough to give light to what everybody's talking about on X-Men 1.5 when they call the first film just an extended prologue for the ongoing saga. Can't wait to see how Rogue's managing to get her mack on with Iceman without killing the poor sod. (X-condom?) Zowie! Check the trailer out at Apple...
Meddlin' Son of a Bitch
Feb 18 2003 -
10:06 a.m.
I've just finished reading Trainspotting and if that ain't the best fucking book ever written by man or woman, I don't know what is. Okay maybe not the actual top of the top ten, but it's in there somewhere. Freaky good, and it'll do something you'll never expect: make the movie seem restrained. Now I'm going to read Porno... but I need a short rest first. This is the first time in my life when I'm actually planning my reading schedule, all so I can do the first 4 Harry Potter books in the month leading up to Order of the Phoenix.
How about that Buffy? I can't help it folks, I loves the Buffy. (Season 4 DVD, by the way, is coming on June 10. Mark your calendars!) I've been wondering if the long leather coat was going to make a comeback this season, especially given the Principal Wood scenario, but I have to admit that when it finally happened, I found it all faintly disturbing. This probably wasn't the best idea for Buff to put in Spike's head, now that she's taken the chip out of it. Souls don't kill people, people kill people!
Lingering Spike-related question I forgot to ask last week: did anyone notice the rather nasty wound on Spike's shoulder, as he was heading out to fetch Buffy? Unless this was a major continuity gaffe, it's got me wondering if the First's repatriation of Spike hasn't already begun. Also we have word from Marsters himself (begin inviso-text, spoiler boy): The end of the season is going to be "romantic" for Buffy and Spike. You know what that means in the Buffyverse: death death death death death death death! Inviso-text ends now!
This was also one of Dawnie's finest episodes overall, as we're really beginning to see her assume her position in the gang, and draw strength from it. The whole DTVS scenario now seems like little more than a pipe dream... but one thing keeps coming back into my head: Joyce's prediction. I mean sure, this season's been full of more red herrings than a street bazaar in St. Petersburg, but the Joyce moment still seems like a giant dangly thread that will have to come back to affect Dawn at some point.
I'm officially sick of our twinned comic relief, Anya and Andrew. Anya, because I agree with Buffy, and she should just choose a frickin' side or get the hell off the show. (I suspect she will do the former, and then almost immediately do the latter.) Andrew just ain't funny any more... which is probably a bad thing given that next week's episode is told almost entirely from his POV. Besides, Andrew's evil, and all the Phantom Menace references in the world won't change that. They should have kept Jonathan. I love Jonathan.
More and more news sources are reporting that the Faith deal is a done one. Also, as expected, Buffy's exit will apparently leave room for SMG to pop in occasionally à la David Duchovny. Is any of this true? Who frickin' knows? But I'd think with March (and series finale shooting season) almost upon us, it's going to be very hard not to get some official word in the next few weeks.
I gotta say, my interest in Matrices 2 & 3 is drying up faster than wet leaves on a brushfire. But I still appreciate a well-designed action figure:
That's Neo, doing what Hasbro could never get a Dagobah Luke to do: stand on his hand. They've also got a Trinity that runs up a wall.
How about that Joe Millionaire? This show de-evolved from being genuinely fascinating to excruciatingly annoying in a very short time. The slow-burn build up to the finale has just been irritating as hell; they took 20 minutes of content and stretched it over 2 weeks and 3 hours. Bloody stupid. I guess next year we're all doomed to do it again, with Joe Millionaire 2: Seth Billionaire.
Oh yeah: My Survivor thingo was supposed to be done this weekend but I got a little sidetracked. Maybe today? Maybe tomorry? I'll try to have it done by Thursday so that you can be marvelled at my uncanny predictive abilities. If only there was a way to make money at this!
And finally, we had that dust-up between Letterman and Dr. Phil. It was fairly hilarious. At least the big man has a decent sense of humour and the two of them jibed pretty effectively. Then I flipped over to Leno (which you should never, ever do) and Bill Maher is ranting, at length, about Ozzy Osbourne. Remember when Bill Maher was the thinking man's Jon Stewart? Remember when Jon Stewart was the guest host for Tom Snyder? Remember Tom Snyder? He's returned, in pog form.
Oh crap I'm getting fucking bombarded by work e-mails. You know what that means. It's time to.... watch a DVD???
To the Batmobile!
(i am batman)
Fearless
Feb 14 2003 - 7:10
p.m.
Surprise surprise, Daredevil's good!
Also surprisingly good: X-Men 1.5. The movie's exactly the same of course, but the supplemental material's fairly impressive when taken all together. And of course the DVD comes with a free ticket to either Daredevil or X2, so it damn near pays for itself anyway.
Words of Wisdom
Feb 14 2003 - 9:31
a.m.
We're all aware of it, let's just leave it be.
I quote: "I just thought I might just stop by there and just kinda open up a serious can of whup-ass on that boy." You got it right, it can only mean one thing: Dr. Phil is coming to kill Letterman! Although I'm still disappointed we never got our Oprah-Dave prize fight, this certainly falls under "the next best thing." It's all happening Monday night.
How about that Survivor? Is it just me, or is Jeff getting increasingly irritable? Well anyways it's all good. I'll do my usual breakdown mojo sometime soon but since it depends on a seance to fuel the predictions, it takes a bit of time and I just don't have it today.
Apparently Angel is absent for the next three weeks but when he comes back on March 5, it'll be all-new till the end of the season. I suspect Angel will conclude pre-Buffy so that the Angelettes can all go running down to Sunnydale. And yes, the March 5 episode marks the return of everybody's second-favourite Slayer.
Finally, a little something from Joss Whedon. This is regarding the season (probably series) finale of Buffy: "It's both the coolest thing and the worst idea I've ever heard of. It's the last thing I ever would have thought about doing, but when you say it, it almost seems inevitable. But we're going to piss off people--oh my God! But we're gonna make them love more." Interpret that as you will. All I'll say is, I've got a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad feeling about this.
Temptation Island
Feb 13 2003 - 9:36
a.m.
 |
The men vs. the women. The elements vs. the tribes. The pirannhas vs. Jeff Probst. It's all here on Survivor: Amazon!
Tonight we kick things off with a 90-minute opener, which will no doubt be the last time that the men/women thing is interesting, so buckle up and enjoy. The gender segregation "twist" has been a long time coming, but has always been forestalled in the past by fears that Survivor's general foregrounding of brute strength would put the female tribe at a significant disadvantage. Now, Mark Burnett has spent the past few incarnations of the series pumping up the use of mental challenges, and varying the physical challenges by introducing competitive factors such as balance, memory, stamina and sheer willpower. In Australia, a men vs. women matchup would have been a bloodbath; in the Amazon, it looks like even money.
 |
The big element that the new twist introduces, then, is the possibility for some long-awaited inter-Survivor luvvin'. No, I don't expect the no-sex mainstay of island life to be disrupted, but reportedly, pulling the Boys Prep vs. Ladies Finishing School mojo resulted in more than a little heightened interest in the members of the opposing tribe. If any challenge involves random questions to three opposite sex tribe members across a big blank wall, we'll know where we're headed.
(At some point, they've gotta do a Gay vs. Straight edition.)
Potential winners and losers will be a little clearer after tonight's episode, but based on what's released already, we can come to a few conclusions about our tribe mates. Here are six rules-of-thumb for Survivor 6:
 |
#1: The men will lose. Expect Tambaqui Tribe to take the first walk of shame, and the second as well. It's going to be harder to get the Alphas working as a group for the first six days, and the women will walk all over them for it.
#2: The bigger the threat, the bigger the target. Men aren't good at weeding strategic interest out of sheer, you're-pissing-on-my-tree territoriality, so Tambaqui's boot picks will be lunkheaded to the max. In this case, the strong won't survive.
#3: Age insulates. Butch and Roger on Tambaqui, and Janet on Jaburu, will provide much-needed wisdom and experience, and should be safe for the first 4 ejections. Given the right skills, they could all slip nicely under the radar to end up in, or near, the Final Four.
 |
#4: Hooks help. Deaf? Rocket Scientist? That little thing that makes a castaway special may be that little thing that gives them a bit of extra leeway. Christy and Dave should last well into the mid-game.
#5: Don't piss anybody off. The more dogmatic the player (umm, Ghandia anyone?) the easier it is to justify an ejection. As such, someone like Deena could get herself in a whole heap of trouble just by running her mouth.
#6: SURVIV.ORg is forever. Remember when I used to do
this all the time?
 |
I'll make my first round picks for the Final Four after the episode, but as for tonight's boot, once again, I'm saying Tambaqui gets the crap kicked out of them in the first Immunity Challenge, and after the long walk of shame, it'll be too-beautiful male model Ryan to go. Keep your eye on this wanker, he's the guy on the right.
How do I know who will go, before I've even seen the show? As Dave is bound to say at some point this season, Survivor ain't rocket science.
First Blood
Feb 12 2003 - 9:52
a.m.
 |
Last year, the first spoiler pic from Chamber of Secrets was a shot of the Weasleys' car.... and now, oddly enough, the first spoiler pic from Prisoner of Azkaban is the Knight Bus. Connection? Mebbe. You no doubt thought "purple triple-decker bus with beds in it" was something the filmmakers just wouldn't be able to pull off.... well you were wrong. Dead wrong. Can't wait to see how this thing corners.... if it corners.
I've also got a shot of Daniel but let's just say it's "less than flattering" and leave it be. Point being: filming is underway in merry London towne, so much so that Cuaron couldn't even be reached to comment regarding his oscar nomination yesterday.
Angel: Dripping Blood
Feb 11 2003 - 10:56
p.m.
This isn't my usual breed of drool: that Angel fucked me up completely. I literally, actually had to pour myself a stiff drink. I'm still shaking. I don't know why it got to me so much, but something about having Angelus in the basement was somehow emblematic of every nightmare I've ever had. It was like being inside my bad dreams in a very real and person way... I am both chilled to the bone, and very very impressed. And of course, as soon as he was out of the cage, I was a goner, a babbling incoherent mess.
Wow.
(breathes)
Eerily enough I was remarking to Hope earlier this evening that the first thing Angelus would do when he got out was ice Lilah, so the fact that it was CORDY(!!!) who did it instead completely threw me for a loop. Which I guess was the point.
Gaaaaahhhh. And I raise you a: Daaaaaah!!
(breathes)
I also bought Angel season 1 on DVD tonight and watched the first episode, which was pretty nice and stylish. I guess there's no point denying it any more: I'm finally starting to dig this show in a big, deep way.
 |
Meanwhile, check this site out for some concept art for Buffy: Animated. (You have to use the left-hand console to navigate through the images, which isn't exactly the most user-friendly interface this web designer has ever seen. There are 16 images in all.)
It's looking increasingly probable that this show is never going to happen, which is a shame in innumerable ways, but check out that artwork! The fact that Dawn is present represents a very interesting angle: Buffy's high school years, as imagined in the alternate-reality Dawniverse. Cool, I say.
(breathes)
Boy, if I didn't have nice wholesome Smallville to wash all this down with right now, I don't know what I'd do.
"Goddamn researchers, house with no man in the goddamn
closet..."
Feb 11 2003 - 9:35 a.m.
Oscar noms are out. A gigantic slew of no surprises. I'm officially more interested in whether Return of the King will win next year than I am in whether The Two Towers has a chance this year. In the Chicago-Hours shootout, I don't really favour either. It'll be nice to see Marty score some honours at long last, even though (of course) he should have received all this acclaim for one of his better movies. And about the only thing that interests me about The Pianist is tallying how many stupid American journalists pronounce it "the pee-AHN-ist" just to avoid saying something on-air that sounds suspciciously like PENIS.
It's just a word, folks, let's all say it once. Wherever you are (especially if you're at work) just say it out loud one time: penis. Now say: pianist. Now say: vulva (just because). Feeling better? Goooooooooood.
Very happy to see two of my very favourite actors, Julianne Moore and John C. Reilly, walking off with nods (and two for Julianne! woo hoo!). And in a year where everyone expected him to get nothing, seeing a nomination for John Williams is great, even if it's for Catch Me If You Can instead of (rightfully) Harry Potter or Attack of the Clones, better scores although I suppose not quite as eye-catching.
In the Oscars Suck category the big one is Atanarjuat, being left out of Best Foreign Language film. That's just criminal. And we have the lack of a nomination for PJ, the year's hardest working man in show business (next to Reilly). The fact that they stretched and included Treasure Planet in the Best Animated Feature category shows just how meaningless that category really is. (If anything but Spirited Away wins, there may have to be some high-spirited fire bombing.) And where's the nomination for Gollum's Song, the creepiest (and most evocative) tune used in a movie? It's better than Eminem, anyway...
Visual Effects are a bit of a surprise in how un-surprising they are... just LOTR, AOTC and Spider-Fuckhole. It should go to LOTR, of course, but I'm still so pissed about the TPM snub in '99 that I'd like to see AOTC take it just for sheer retribution's sake. Repeat after me: there would be no Gollum without Jar Jar. There would be no Gollum without Jar Jar. (I know, I'm having you guys do a lot of talking today. S'okay.)
Switching tracks to movies that actually matter, I spent a few hours last night remastering Man in the Closet for its eventual DVD release. The good news is that I got most of the big gremlins out of the flick... the bad news is, well, it'll never be perfect. But it's a damn sight better than it was, I'll tell ya. I'm using multiple sources (2 digital, 1 analogue) to create the best definitive master possible. I'm also recutting the film and adding new special effects. (No, not really. Preserve the original Star Wars! Visit originaltrilogy.com today!)
The DVD ban officially breaks today, thankgod....
Buffy: Drool
Feb 10 2003 - 7:59
p.m.
Toldja the Wood thing was cool.
Wacka-chicka-chicka-wacka-chicka-wacka-chicka-chicka
After being an annoying plot-point-in-waiting for the entirety of the season, Wood finally got to do some strutting tonight, and some mighty good strutting it was. It's a shame they couldn't bring back the exact actress to play his mother, but hey, it was probably just some random stunt woman the first time around anyway.
Tonight marked the first backwards admission on Buffy's part that she was indeed in love with Spike, and some major furtherage with their new semi-platonic relationship. It's all good with me. And I had the sickest thought of all time of how Buffy might get out of this "she has to die" mojo without actually dying: vamp anyone?
And of course, if the Faith thing goes through, Buffy doesn't have to die at all, she can just retire....
It's 9:30 and I'm already wasting time
Feb 10 2003 - 9:32 a.m.
Good morning everyone. Good weekend? Excited about Buffy? You should be.
As of right now - and mark this moment because it won't last long - I have watched every single DVD in my collection, and all of their extra features (except for commentary tracks). This is good because tomorrow, I'm buying a shiteload of stuff. I've been reading the descriptions of some of the episodes in the first season of Angel and I'm actually getting kind of excited about seeing them. Maybe I will turn into an Angel fan after all? Naaaaahhhhh.
The president of Mutant Enemy has confirmed that the Faith spinoff is in talks, but repeats that nothing is signed and that other contingencies are being considered, too. Come on Kennedy the Vampire Slayer! (Okay now that I'm fairly sure it's not going to happen, suddenly, it's the one I want most. Understand: she's a lesbian slayer with a rich daddy and a Bronx attitude. It's like Dark Angel, Alias, and Tomb Raider all rolled into one. How is this not a great idea?)
At one point on the weekend, Zam decided that my hands (right and left) were her two worst enemies on earth. This caused much ruckus because she started attacking them without provocation. Even funnier was when she'd beg for affection, I'd start petting her, and she'd realize it was my hands that were touching her and so she'd go berserk. But anyways, she seems to have got past all that now.
Oscar noms are tomorrow but I won't have the pool up and running for another few weeks. Nobody ever turns in their ballots until the last minute anyway. Be prepared: the buy's going to be around $20 this year, so we can get a nice big juicy pot for Erik and Dave to fight over.
The Razzie nominations, on the other hand, are out, and of
course, Attack of the Clones got the nod for Worst Picture. But I can't
imagine it'll be able to beat Swept Away. Must we be runners-up in
everything?!
I took my mother to see The Two Towers yesterday... and she liked it! This is good cuz I figure it means she may yet like at least one of my movies, although certainly not the ones I'm working on right now.
And of course the talk is now swirling around how long Return of the King will be... some estimates put it upwards of 4 hours. Bear in mind, PJ's left himself a lot of story to get through for the final chapter. Personally, I'll give him license to do whatever he wants with the length. Six hours? Fine, I'll bring a pillow.
Oh: and you know what would be really nice? Now that TTT has knocked Attack of the Clones out of second place for 2002, howsabout we all rally and put the sucker over the top, kicking that damned Spider down a peg? Come on guys, it would only take another $85 million.
Talking to God
Feb 7 2003 - 3:28
p.m.
It's finally happened... I've written a letter to George Lucas. Not that it will ever get to him, nor will my empassioned plea about the fate of the original cut of Star Wars do anything but fall on deaf ears, but I had to do it. Kind of trembled as I wrote out the name and address.
Appreciation
Feb 7 2003 - 2:50
p.m.
Sadly, Jack T. Colton Appreciation Week is now drawing to a close. I'd like to finish things off with what is my very favourite Jack Colton line ever:
What's really funny about that, of course, is that I didn't realize it was a marijuana campfire until I was in my late teens. I was a sheltered kid.
Thanks for tuning in! I was going to write a Romancing the Stone review, but my entire review consisted of "It's really good, just watch it." After 19 years I can't explain my love of RTS any more than I can figure out why my index finger is warped to the left. It's the way it is.
Boy I tell ya, there's nothing like a trip to the vet to make your cat toe the line! She's all purring and affectionate now. Maybe I should take her down every week, just to keep the fear of God in her.
In case there was confusion on this point, the animal's name is still Zam, it's just short for Zamwise which I almost never call her. Actually the current nickname of choice is Zammalammadu, which came about as the obvious conjunction of Zamadu and Zamma Lamma Ding Dong, the nicknames of choice of previous weeks.
Notice how good I've been, not bombarding the web site with pictures of her?
Would You Like a Lick of my Flavour Bar?
Feb 7 2003 - 10:52 a.m.
Computer is working again (for now) so here's some celebratory Colton:
Weird filmmaker notes: Robert Rodriguez is gearing up to shoot Spy Kids 3 in 3D, no doubt to maximize the advantage of his not-so-kids-anymore stars' developing bods. George Lucas has rattled the "you'll never see the original Star Wars on DVD" sabre again, leading many of us to consider our laserdisk situation. And Gus Van Sant, who apparently didn't take enough of a critical beating the last time around, wants to remake Psycho again. This time he wants to do a punk rock version with Viggo "I sleep with my sword" Mortensen in the Anthony Perkins / Vince Vaughn role.
My review of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind is posted...
One week till Daredevil! Yeah, I suspect I'm the only one with a good feeling. And 9 days till the 300th episode of The Simpsons.... which will no doubt be a colossally mediocre episode, just to throw off all the wags who tune in just because it's the 300th episode.
Pheromones
Feb 6 2003 - 4:40
p.m.
I'm taking the day off, which my computer ratified by failing to turn on for the last seven hours. Which unfortunately means I'm behind on my Colton. Here's one:
And here's another:
Remember, tomorrow's the last day of Jack T. Colton Appreciation Week. Do you appreciate Jack Colton? Why not give Romancing the Stone a viewing this weekend? Or track down a copy of Jewel of the Nile and smash it into a million pieces with a large iron hammer? Though not technically a Colton film, The War of the Roses is also a hell of a lot of fun and can't help but be considered the unofficial third part of the Colton trilogy.
Well anyway. I doubt my computer will boot up again after this so best of luck until the morrow. My trek through the downtown core was suspiciously Peachy. I gots a hankerin' for a spankerin'.
One week till Survivor! Woohoo!
Bloo
Feb 6 2003 - 1:12
a.m.
Tuned in to Enterprise tonight for the first time in months and caught the "AIDS episode." There was an era, now so long ago, when Trek would tackle issues a wee bit ahead of their time... tonight's was a two-decade regression. They actually dragged us right back into the mid-80s, structuring their story around the "gay plague" take on the nature and purpose of AIDS. I mean, what fucking century are we living in here? I've seen episodes of Frasier with greater concern for relevant contemporary social issues.
dabba dee, dabba dye.
Let's have a bit more Jack Colton to ease the pain:
Got the double-whammy smackdown tonight so I'm just trying to put the planet back together. Also got blue curtains, grey shelves and a retracting shaving mirror. I am Jack's perfect Ikea existence. I'm finally beginning to suspect that maybe, just maybe I'm doing something seriously wrong....
Greatness
Feb 5 2003 - 1:38
p.m.
Music for Bone Daddy is going well (might we be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel?) and revision of my script is also going well. It's time to celebrate with another line from Jack T. Colton:
It's too bad Jack T. Colton Appreciation Week can't last forever. It's also too bad the crazy hotel maid from Ghostbusters only has one line, because if she had more I'd give her an Appreciation Week too.
Snapshot o' the Day
Feb 5 2003 - 10:36
a.m.
Here's a group shot from our snowboarding trip last week:
That's Colin on the left, then Daniel, Dave, Mer, me (looking like a wet Wampa) and Al.
The Phantom Sentimentalist
Feb 5 2003 -
10:22 a.m.
I'll tell ya what's weird: I've been feeling all sentimental about The Phantom Menace. There's that "warm glow" thing that is usually reserved for the original trilogy. And it only took three and a half years. Ah, the good old days.
Continuing the recent Nicole Kidman love-in, word that she's in talks to take the lead in Catwoman has me a hell of a lot happier than I've been with all this Ashley Judd nonsense. Of course, I'd be even happier if we could travel a decade backwards in time, and have Michelle Pfeiffer do the thing properly from the Daniel Waters script with Burton directing, but hey, this ain't Star Trek. The current draft of the script is fairly lame compared to what it had been before, so here's hoping it gets another pass by a new writer.
Well I feel as though I've been procrastinating for the last month, so today I will get shit done. Fear me! I am shit-get-done guy.
You know who else gets shit done? Three guesses:
All Around Me
Feb 5 2003 - 12:26
a.m.
Found a site that had a bunch of bootleg Survivor music... which I know means nothing to you... but thrilled the hell out of me. Still don't have the Victory theme but otherwise I've got a hell of a new CD going.
I swapped out my DVD player today for a unit that will coordinate its life a little better with my TV, in terms of scaling issues on many of my DVDs. I was getting used to 4:3 stuff being stretched to 16:9, but I guess original aspect ratios are good. So now there's only 10 DVDs left in my collection that don't play properly on my system. Ten out of a hundred and sixty. I can live with that.
Boy this is like watching paint dry. I'm sorry. I'm really tired.
Wrapping it up: Angel good (go Samwise!) but not quite good enough, Smallville a bit better but the will-they-won't-they thing is just getting silly. Overreact much, Lana?
Let's ask Jack Colton:
sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
SPOILED!!!
Feb 4 2003 - 1:24
p.m.
OH!!! I got nailed with a big one! Didn't even mean to, but there it is: I know who Principal Wood is. I won't give it up here cuz believe me, I wish I hadn't found out. But it is so cool. I will give a hint: it ties directly into my favourite episode of all time, ever. I'll give you another hint: wacka-chicka-wacka-chicka-wacka-chicka.....
Plug Plug Plug
Feb 4 2003 - 11:37
a.m.
I've been meaning to do this for a while and today's definitely the day: my plug for Centre Hi-Fi. This is the place that I bought my TV and my DVD player. I will, quite simply, never shop anywhere else for electronics in my whole life. They have been incredibly good to me, way above and beyond the call of duty in their efforts to ensure that everything about my system is as good as I want it to be. If you're in the market for a VCR, a DVD player, a TV, a stereo, or more fun than a barrel of monkeys, check 'em out. They're at 1274 Kennedy Road, and worth the drive.
Let's see what our friend Jack has to say on the subject:
To all interested parties: there will be no Jewel of the Nile clips featured on Tederick.com, ever.
What Would Jesus Do?
Feb 4 2003 - 9:54
a.m.
Let's start our day with some more words of wisdom from our friend, Jack Colton:
Thanks Jack!
Christians around the world can relax (okay, not bloodly likely), the Vatican has blessed the Harry Potter series and declared that they're just jim-dandy. No Satan-worshipping, no demonic possession, no teaching-kids-the-dark-arts, just good old fashioned morality parables. Take that you religious fundamentalist nuts!
I was very disappointed to see my horse eliminated from the race last night on Joe Millionaire, although I knew in advance that it was inevitable that the final pairing be blonde vs. brunette, and that Zora wasn't goin' anywhere. The good news is, I highly doubt either of the final two will accept Evan for who he is: Sarah cuz she's just a gold-digging snot, and Zora because she's an emotionally-guarded space case.
I don't yet have a real solid grasp on who will win, but I suspect it's Zora. We'll see. The producers have played her very interestingly over the past few weeks.
All this, of course, has been nothing but a primer for the Survivor goodness that will be layed down on us next week. I'm fairly excited. Just got myself a little preview of the new theme and it's very good. I'll be doing my usual pre-show who-to-watch who'll-get-tossed thingo sometime next week.
I'm planning to start buying DVDs again in a week (just in time for Angel). I've got four more films I have to watch....
Weekly Buffy Drool
Feb 3 2003 - 8:11
p.m.
ASN's playing fast and loose with their timetables so I didn't get to do the Angel / Buffy double bill tonight which sucks. But otherwise it's all good. I'd like to dedicate tonight's entry to My Favourite Lesbian, who is putting stars in my eyes at the prospect of her headlining her own series next year. (Okay, I'd call KTVS the most insanely remote possibility of all the *TVS iterations. And I'm also rapidly becoming of the opinion that this is it, Period. No spin-off, no Season Eight, just a big fat load of nuthin'.)
The return of Evil Amy didn't really work for me because for about ten minutes I was confused about whether or not she was supposed to be the First. The hex seemed like a fairly outta-left-field thing for her to do after all this time. But who knows, rats are weird.
It was cool to get back to the Initiative, and the introduction of the witch's circle raises the question in my mind as to whether we're going to see some massive alliance of the Forces of Good in the series finale: the Slayer, the Slayerettes, Angel, the Angelettes, the Initiative, the witches, etc., etc., etc., all versus the Biggest of the Big Bads. That'd be pretty cool, one big Braveheart battle in the middle of Sunnydale. Of course I'm probably setting myself up for a gigantic disappointment, aren't I?
Once again (in Amy) we have a character who is echoing this "it's about power" thing, and more specifically showing the corruptive uses of power that now seem destined to eat the Scoobs from the inside out. I'm worried. The prevailing theme of the past couple of years has been "Consequences," so who knows just how many of our heroes are going to have to pay the piper before the year is out.
End-note: thank the Whedon for finally addressing my concerns regarding the "who you gonna call" connotation.
So now we're left with two danglers (discounting the whole Willow-she-or-won't-o-she question): Wassup with Spike, and now that we know he ain't the First, wassup with Giles. Now I'm totally fucking tormented.
My day improved significantly once I finished Hell and watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Leaving aside Jeffrey Jones' potential prison sentence, today was the first time that I realized that the film demands a sequel. We catch up with Ferris, Sloane and Cameron 20 years later. Ferris is a high-priced lawyer with the work ethic of a 3-toed sloth. Sloane is the "girl that got away." And Cameron is living in the Mojave Desert, selling the shattered pieces of his father's car as jewellery to passing motorists. Nearing death, Ed Rooney has finally saved up enough money to take out a contract hit on Ferris, and wackiness ensues. Expect Edie McClurg to show up in the last reel to save the day with vital information about Rooney's weak spot.
And now, let's have some more words of wisdom from our friend, Jack Colton:
Jack T. Colton Appreciation Week
Feb 3
2003 - 1:19 p.m.
The first business day of every month is Hell over here at Bearshark - that gruelling, soul-draining, mind-numbing day where I send out the invoices, report the stats, back up the sites, and rue my existence. Given that today is not just Hell but February Hell, I thought it was time for a pick-me-up. After all, we all get the February blahs... except for one man, Jack T. Colton! Therefore I dub this Jack T. Colton Appreciation Week. All week here on Tederick.com I'll be laying some choice Colton sound bytes on ya, cuz that is the benevolent web guy I am. Here's the first one, click the image to hear the goodness. You will need Flash 4 or better, and your speakers turned on.
Debris
Feb 2 2003 - 10:09
p.m.
It's still really bothering me. Maybe I tried to hard (or too quickly) to dismiss it. It bothers the hell out of me. I saw the shot of the helmet and my blood froze. I heard about the Ebay auctions and that same blood boiled. And of course Dubya announced that an additional half-billion will be added into NASA's budget next year, and I couldn't help thinking it: good. You silly, misguided fool, but good. Spend that money on building better spacecraft instead of blowing up somebody's home. No, CNN is not in any way interested in covering the innocent people being killed all over the world right now... but that's news. That's the way it's always been. The silver lining is that they're meditating on the deaths of 7 scientists and naming them as heroes. And in some bloodied, mixed-up version of life on earth in the 21st century, that gives me some peace.
Glad that's out of my system, because it's been a good day. Good weekend, actually. Quiet. Restful. Read some comic books and watched Clint Eastwood movies and made some fairly disastrous (but tasty) chocolate cookies. Saw Woogie today and gasped! He's huge! I could barely lift him! Even Mojo looks like a giant compared to Zam. Incidentally: Zam's full name has been ammended to Zamwise Hermione von Woogie III to work in one more half-reference.
Yes, I actually got around to doing some fairly hysterical writing today, which is good. I'm still fairly convinced these weekends go by far too quickly but who knows? Maybe something really interesting will happen tomorrow.
The February Principle
Feb 2 2003 - 1:52
p.m.
It's unavoidable - I've been woken by birds chirping (!) two days in a row now and with the temperatures hovering above the zero point after weeks of truly nasty cold, my body thinks it's spring. Of course it's not spring. And boy am I going to be pissy in a few weeks when it's back to cold and miserable. But for right now, it's jeans-n-Tshirt weather and that's fine by me. (Jeans and T shirts in 2° weather.... Canadians really are nuts.)
So when it gets filthy mcnasty again, I will probably throw a beach party at my apartment. Margaritas, beach chairs, Hawaiian music, scorching (artificially generated) temperatures... the works. Bathing suits a must. Maybe I can get a kiddy pool?
After 10 whole wholesome days of not writing, I swear to all that's holy that I will work on it this aft. Actually, as soon as I'm done writing this. (That whole "if I weren't writing web sites, would I be writing scripts" thing comes up again.)
MEH!!!
Columbia
Feb 1
2003 - 2:33 p.m.
I had a poster of the Columbia on my wall for most of my childhood. I've built models of the spacecraft more times than I can count... and there's one in my kitchen right now that I still haven't had a chance to launch. Today's news was not the best thing to come home to. It's not Challenger all over again, because that was in my youth, and only the shattering of youthful naiveté could have left so lingering an impression. But it's still saddening and disheartening. I was lucky enough to talk to Mark about it first, who pointed out the cold, pragmatic reality of life in 2003: it was seven people who knew the risks of what they were doing. That they assumed that risk is heroic, but that they were asked to pay the forfeit of their choice is not tragedy on anything like the scale as the immense folly that so many nations (ahem) are currently rushing headlong towards.
"If we die, we want people to accept it. We are in a risky business, and we hope if anything happens to us it will not delay the program. The conquest of space is worth the risk of life." - Virgil I. Grissom, 1926 - 1967
The Big Bad
Feb 1 2003 - 10:35
a.m.
James Marsters has cancelled his appearance at this summer's whiz-bang Toronto Trek con. SUCKS ROCK-HARD ASS!!! I suppose it's for the best that my newfangled convention renaissance (god I can never spell that word on the first go) gets squashed right here. But still: can you say sucks?! So, everyone I've been chattering to excitedly about his appearance can go back to their normal lives, Happy Boy is gone.
Should I go to yoga? It's getting to be too late to go to yoga... maybe I'll dash.