HO LEE SHIT
|
 |
After seven years of metaphor and subtlety, it was time for the kill-stroke, and "Chosen" was about female power. It soaked the bones of this episode, from Buffy's nuts-first evisceration of Caleb, to Willow's "Oh my goddess!" moment of transformation. But in the end it was all about the girl on the baseball field - they could not possibly have cast that role better - and the feeling of Slayers awakening all over the world. The Watchers are just creepy old men: share the power, bring it back to the ones who use it. Brilliant.
Also brilliant: a very noticeably Massive-inspired rush of Orcs/Turok-Hans going mental in the Hellmouth. "Cookie dough," the best "I choose neither" speech in the history of television. The end of Sunnydale. "I'm drowning in footwear!" The final conversation between the Original Four. Sarah not getting the last word. The future. Ah yes, the future....
IV. The inevitability principle
Life goes on. I'm very happy right now. I've really loved this thing, and you can't have enough love these days. Two years wasn't nearly long enough but you know, that's my own damn fault anyway.
Joss and Marti and everyone are watching the show tonight at Joss's place over pizza and beer. That's the way to do it. And guess who took home the most coveted prop of the last episode? Quoth the Whedon: "The scythe that appeared at the end of the last episode, episode 20. Buffy finds a scythe and it happens to be the scythe that Melaka Fray uses in the comic book that I wrote, so we decided to bring that to life. So, I have that." Now, do you think the poor interviewer had any idea what the fuck he was saying? Mwa ha ha ha. Joss keep scythe. Me like.
I promised myself I wouldn't start freaking out about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix until after Buffy was done. Buffy is done. I'm freaking out!
And the TV season is done, thank goodness. I'm completely exhausted, and I only watch seven shows. I'm going to have to pare that down for next season, cuz it just ain't worth it any more. I'll spend the summer, exclusively, with The Amazing Race 4, which (convenient!) starts next week.... and breathe a hefty sigh of relief for the end of my isolationist days.
Glad everyone's enjoyed the VCR movies over the past few weeks... we have now, of course, run fresh out. So as a final treat, here's a trailer for VCR9. Beware!
So this feels like closure. Time to shave my head.
Fireworks
May 19 2003 - 9:29
p.m.
The world is changed. I feel it in the water.... I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. I feel a tremendous sense of peace washing over me, like the steady rhythm of the tide in a quiet day at the beach. I feel sunlight on my face... I can smell the sand-scrubbed breeze. I can see this thing that I've loved stretched out before me like an ocean of time, and it all works. It's all so beautiful. I feel very humbled right now, and very happy.
More soon.
The End
May 19 2003
Deluge: Dread the Apocalypse
May 17 2003
- 5:36 p.m.
It's coming, and my bones are shaking. I know it deep inside. And every few minutes a strangulated cry erupts from my parched lips...
"...Buffy...!"
Spoiler warning: don't watch UPN's preview of the final episode if you don't want to know for sure that it's gonna kick hard ass!!
Buffy fans wealthier than me will want to check out the Buffy Auctions being held on Ebay until Tuesday. Were I a rich man, I might bid on Kennedy's hoodie so that I could inhale some of Iyari Limon's sweat. Or the Letterman jacket that Spike and Xander so hilariously abducted in "Him." Or perhaps, most appropriately, Buffy's teddy bear.
Hey, here's an idea: all you tederick.com readers, who get to enjoy my site daily absolutely free, why don't you pitch in ten bucks each and buy me something? I'll love you forever.
I realized today that I completely lack an identity of my own.
I just realized that today.
Torrent
May 16 2003 - 4:15
p.m.
Watched the ER finale... that should be the whole show for next season. Fuck Chicago, set it in the Congo. Get the nitty-gritty on. This is what ER is all about!
Meanwhile, the new Buffy game and the Quidditch World Cup game have me eyeing my first video game console since the Super Nintendo itself. Wanna see me double my wasted time per week?
Honestly. What is with the weather?!?!
Now Who's the Dean?!
May 16 2003 - 10:13
a.m.
I've been casting around the internet and it looks like I really am the only person who dug The Matrix Reloaded. Everyone else is all "disappointing" and "doesn't live up."
Well, as much as I like the film, as a Star Wars fan who
had to listen to you Matrix fans simper incessantly about how
your little flick kicked the snot out of "disappointing" Phantom Menace,
I feel compelled and delighted to offer a single solitary NANNA NANNA
BOO-BOO!!! Losers.
Shit
May 16 2003 - 12:57
a.m.
I didn't want to like it... I really didn't want to like it....
.....and I liked it. Probably more than most people ever will. A hell of a lot more than I ever wanted to, believe me.
The Matrix Reloaded review right here....
Legally Blondest
May 15 2003 - 3:17
p.m.
It's only four days away. It's giving me aches and pains and sleepless nights. But before "Chosen" destroys all Buffy for all time, let's have a look at what has been, in the inevitable Top 20 Buffy Episodes Of All Time, as selected by the only Tederick.com writer with the editorial power to say whatever he wants: me.
Legally Blonder
May 15 2003 - 1:22
p.m.
I tell you, the Internet has the answer for everything. Now I'm hooked up with an FTP server devoted exclusively to trailer music. Which solves years of problems. Bon!
Guts
May 15 2003 - 2:40
a.m.
So for some reason it had to be Perkins, out by the airport, for post-poker edibles rather than a more convenient Golden Griddle. But poker was such delirious good fun with a slew of hands of Guts to close out that it seemed, at the time, like anything was possible. I came two dollars shy of breaking my winnings record - with a still-hefty $42 on the night.
My cat is completely freaking me out. She can no longer stand to be more than five feet away from me at any time. She follows me from room to room without hesitation, and then plunks herself down within the five foot radious and just stares at me like she thinks I'm going to turn into a giant piece of tuna. It's tremendously alarming. I do Homer Simpson voice "WILL YOU STOP STARING AT ME!!!" quite often.
Seeing Matrix 2 in about seventeen hours.... I no longer have any hope.
The Power of the Force, Episode 768
May
13 2003 - 9:48 p.m.
Well, we did it - there are officially 20,000 Jedi in Canada, according to the final census data. And by "we" I mean "cooler Star Wars fans than me" cuz I didn't even get census-ized. But you know I would have put it if I could.
Let's have some more Star Wars: here's the Mace Windu replica lightsabre from Masters Replicas, the most tempting of their offerings thus far (even eclipsing the Obi-sabre just out of the coolness of the original design).
And here's a shockingly accurate mini-bust of Grand Moff Tarkin, downright frightening in that it wasn't laser-scanned like the other ones. Make sure you read me right here: this is NOT a photograph of the actor. This is a sculpture. Fuck!
So, howsabout everyone buying one Christopher Lee and one Peter Cushing and having them side by side on your desk? I'd do it, but I've got Obi-Wan on the right and Storm Shadow on the left and there just ain't no more room here.
Ah, Smallville smoochies. I covet, I covet...
Life Immitates Letterman
May 13 2003 -
10:48 a.m.
So it's 11:35 last night and I flick onto ol' 282 to catch the Letterman. Alan Coulter's going through his intro and Zam stands in front of the TV and starts praying. And then the words emblazon the screen behind her: Stupid Pet Tricks. Sign from Yahweh? Certainly! But here's a second message: twenty minutes later, they had a praying dog!!! So now I don't know what the hell to do. I've missed my chance!
Has anyone ever wanted to see Ricardo Montalban get up out of
that damned wheelchair and do a backflip? Well now you can! Check out the
Spy Kids 3D trailer. It's amazing how fast Rodriguez
is cranking these things out; he just finished shooting and it's coming to the
screen at the end of July. He my new hero.
Who Daddy?
May 12 2003 - 8:23
p.m.
Dawn killed Miss Kitty Fantastico?!?! Never in all my nights of wondering where poor MKF had gone did I dream that she could have died in a horrible crossbow accident at Dawn's hands. Yikes! But Dawn retains her coolbooks status with the speed and efficiency of her Xander-xapping tonight. "When things are bad, Buffy won't choose you." It finally makes sense: what Joyce meant, why Joyce was sent, and what Dawn (and Xander, methinks!) will contribute to the impending grand finale.
Impending. Breathe. Just breathe.... a week from right now, this will all be done.
I'm completely exhausted, by the way, so maybe a wee break seems like a good thing in the short term... but the long term totally stinks. No more Buffy, just that square-jawed child molestor's show. And we don't like him. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I wear my stubborn pants.
"Only now, at the end, do you understand." And I'm beginning to. It's the collision of this final arc of Buffy with the deeds of Fray, and finally the meaning of "Slayer" is becoming clear. Like: taking on three Turok-Hans with her Slayer-customized battle-axe and winning in two seconds flat. Or stepping back up to the plate she was recently shoved off of. Or sharing the axe (I should be saying "scythe") with Faith, because finally, after all this, they're starting to see the truth about each other, and what links them rather than what separates them. Having two Slayers isn't a detriment - it's a wellspring of understanding of the nature of their calling.
Or Buffy finally figuring out where her power truly lies. See, poor Buff has spent this whole season (and last season, really) fighting herself. Why else would we have the First taking Buffy's form so often? Buffy's true enemy is in herself, but she's beginning, at long last, to move in the other direction, "back to the beginning" as they always say. There's a vital connection between Buffy's early resistance of her Slayer mantle and her ability to exist with her friends in a quasi-normal life. As long as she's holding her Slayer duties at arm's length, she's somewhat able to delude herself into thinking she belongs among the normal humans. When she embraces the power too closely - as she began to do in Season Five - she begins to realize that she is forever cut off. Not an inaccurate assessment, but contrapunctal to the true source of Buffy's - the girl's, not the Slayer's - strength.
What has always set Buffy apart is the fact that she does take her friends with her, and that she is part of their group. That gives her an edge that has saved her (and the world) again and again. In fact, in only two of the six prior apocalypses has Buffy saved the world by herself (Season Two, Season Five). The rest of the time, she got by with a little help from her friends. And with this key distinction in mind, Buffy's ready to do the Big Final Deed. (Close the gates of Hell forever? We'll see.)
Which brings up the last, frustrating trouble we've gotten ourselves into here: Spike vs. Angel. After seven long years, I guess it's finally time for Buffy's answer to Joey Potter to make her ultimate decision. And of course, she will choose neither of them... not just because they're both showing up on Tall-Dark-n'-Doofy's little spinoff next year. No, Buffy will do as all individuated womenfolk o' the telly have done before her, and "choose herself." Either that or both boyfriends'll get chopped into tiny little pieces by an army of Turok-Hans.
The great Doug Petrie and his equally great counterpart Jane Espenson both had their last chance at bat tonight, and crafted what might very well be the perfect "episode where nothing happens." This gig was all about the characters, just an endless stream of two-person dialogue scenes that showcased some of the best writing the series has boasted since the third season. (Not surprising, given that both writers were instrumental in making Season Three the success it was, and wrote several of its best installments - "Band Candy" and "Earshot" for Espenson, and "Bad Girls" and "Enemies" for Faith-expert Petrie.)
Now, In Steppeth The Whedon.
So: roll call. Anya and Andrew have had their moments, and death is yapping at their heels. Spike and Buffy have found something - but Buffy also found she has a rather Pavlovian response to Angel saving her ass. Xander and Dawn ain't fleein' no scene no more. Willow's... still nervous. (Come on, Will, get a subplot, eh?) Faith's.... uncertain. Wood's... entirely absent. And Giles is part black.
One final note: the big shiny red axe. I want one. A lot.
Six days... twenty-two hours... thirty-seven minutes.... twenty-one seconds....
"Thank God we're hot chicks with super powers."
Fray-tastic!
May 12 2003 - 2:16
p.m.
Yep, I've read all seven issues of Fray and I'm freaking out. Freaking out! She's got the axe! The axe has a stake on one end and an axe on the other! And what does this mean for next week's episode? I'll tell ya: it means what I think it means! mwa ha ha ha ha ha (but what about Spike?)
Wowsers. For the first time ever, I've received a credit card bill with a zero balance. Fun while it lasts!
And here's me bitching about Survivor, as promised.
Okay Pal, why the Mohaska?
May 12 2003 -
10:31 a.m.
I swear my weekends are getting harder than my weeks. Not even weekends: Über-weekends. Yikers. I tend to be on the run from 4:00 on Friday until around 2 in the morning on Sunday. And this time around I didn't even sleep on Saturday night because I was plagued by dreams of the First Slayer. No, wait, actually it was the Future Slayer. And it doesn't make me special.
Fortunately my legs didn't give out from under me during soccer, a lovely rain game yesterday afternoon wherein I was actually on a winning team for once. I love the rain games: it's classical, I know, but it still gets me.
Guess what: Attack of the Clones has been in my life for exactly one year today. That warrants a viewage.... except that I watched it on Saturday without realizing the upcoming date significance. So. That's cool.
Let's celebrate with a little bit of goodness from my man Ewan, who's earned back some of his cool stripes today. Or at least, he's fallen under "detente's a beautiful thing." He sayeth of Episode III: "I have to find some way around [my discomfort with blue screen] for this one, because I want to have a good time. I do love being in the 'Star Wars' films, though they're difficult to make."
Could the great five year grouse-fest finally be at an end? No, that's probably too much to ask.
Meanwhile: Calm down everyone! Angel has been officially renewed! (You were foolish to doubt.) Woo... hoo? Actually I don't think I'll formalize my "hoo" yet. If the season's good, good. Otherwise, meh. The really good news: Marsters is signed, Spike will definitely be on the show. The really bad news: Cordy's out! What's up with that? I loves the Cordelia; if she's out, it totally sucks.
And then there's Survivor. You know, on the whole, I enjoyed the finale a great deal more than I expected to. Jeff was right: it actually humanized Jenna for the very first time.... too bad that couldn't have happened a long time ago. And Jeff rocked with the jet-ski gag - these things are getting funnier all the time. I still can't believe the 6-1 landslide: whatever acrimony there must have been against Matthew, I don't feel it was entirely justified. But then that's what Survivor 6 has been all about: how the mainstream marginalizes the unusual. It's a triumph of cheerleader aesthetics over real gamesmanship, and if this has been the "battle of the sexes," what does that say about the ladies? Well, you know what this means: it's time for me to write a big long essay bitching about Survivor. Sha-bam!
And it's that holy time again: VCR4x has been yanked, and the "middling trilogy" of VCR6, VCR7 and VCR8 has been added to the Tederick.com Theatre. Enjoy!
Don't Tell Me The Ending
May 10 2003 -
7:20 p.m.
 |
I'm well and truly fucked now: I've read three issues of Joss Whedon's Fray and I'm as hooked as a large-mouthed bass. I'm trying to minimize my brain's attempts to connect this info with the ramifications of the upcoming series finale - but when I saw the Big Shiny Red Axe in one of the panels, I didn't come back to this earth for five good minutes.
Snikt! Bork Bork Bork!
Lucky Elephant
May 9 2003 - 10:34
p.m.
Mark and I chauffered Bex to her prom tonight. By god I'll have one legitimate high school experience even if it has to be somebody else's life. So we cruised downtown in the Bonewagon with a pretty sharp blaxploitation mix I'd whipped together cranking out of the speakers. Bex looked fucking wicked in a puffy green dress - just the right green, y'know? Ah, the good old days. There's a reason why 3A6 climaxes with a high school prom literally imploding, with bloodshed and mayhem befalling almost all the kids.
Even Green Power Rangers get their prom dresses:
Anyways, after dropping the kiddies we went over to Amato's to
feed the vegan, and I'm sitting there staring out the door when I spot a
certain blue-haired Star Wars goddess across the street - Hilary, standing
outside a piercing place, natch. She's getting a pretty awesome tattoo done on
her left arm that's the "evolution of the stormtrooper" - Jango's on there, and
a stormtrooper helmet on her elbow, and she's even got Tipoca City ringing her
wrist. Very cool. I came within inches of having my eyebrow pierced - but we'll
save that for another day methinks. Still trying to figure out what the fuck to
do with this hair... other than the obvious, get the hell rid of it on May
20th. Or maybe blue? Who am I kidding?
Then Mark and I cruised the Queen Street West on foot and did of the shopping. I've got my eye on a Storm Shadow mini-bust.... I've been thinking on Storm Shadow a lot lately. I might have to write an X-Entertainment style piece on him, and on Supergirl too, and a few other 80s relics of my own. I also bought a box of Lucky Elephant popcorn tonight - and was very disappointed. It's not really a "thing." It's beyond "empty calories" and into "eating styrofoam" territory. I'm not convinced it actually exists. Yet, such fond memories. Weird.
Ooh! And got a mini Buffy/Spike lunchbox! And a pair of pants. Yay me. My pants interest is increasing, Mark style. It may eat my life, Mark style.
Anyone want good news? Harvey Weinstein has shoved Cold Mountain into 2004. Why? Because he's seen a cut of Return of the King and says that the film is "UNSTOPPABLE" to win Best Picture next year. Sha-zam!
So, teetering on the precipice of disaster seems to be suiting me fine. I got myself damn good and sorted last night - well not really sorted so much as that I realized that I really need to get sorted, and talking to Meredith today only convinced me all the more. So sorting is in progress. And the end of deadend is only three weeks away - you can preview my tongue-firmly-planted-in-cheek retrospective video here. And in the meantime... there are TV dinners with lotsa fake cheese, and a candy hangover to deal with.
Falling in love in all the wrong places
May 8 2003 - 6:16 p.m.
Life is a sick joke perpetrated upon mankind by an indifferent god-thing lacking even the mental faculties ascribed to a demented 88 year old living in a one-room cubicle at an egg carton retirement settlement that laughably uses the word "castle" in the name. You know how I know this? Because even if you fuck up the directions completely, Jell-o still works perfectly. I mean, I put in twice as much water as you're supposed to and three hours later, boyoyoyoyoyoing, it's tasty Jell-o. This shit is absolutely indestructible. And yet on the side of the box it says, "do not put fresh kiwi in the Jell-o!" So you know what I'm trying next. Cuz they're lying to us, man, they're lying to us every day.
The Fall of the Empire
May 8 2003 - 5:33
p.m.
Well, we're two and a half hours from the penultimate episode of Survivor 6 and y'know what? I don't give a rat's ass. It's over. The Survivor dynasty has fallen. What driving fires once compelled me to forge SURVIV.ORg have dwindled down to puffs of smoke barely strong enough to get me to even watch the blasted thing.
It goes to the law of batting averages. With Amazon winding down as yet another disappointing entry, the scales are now even: Borneo and Australian Outback rocked, and Africa was decent, but Marquesas was awful and Thailand and Amazon merely unremarkable, except for a handful of good moments (rrrrrrrrrrred meat off the bone!). For a while I really thought 6 was going to pull it out, but it just all disintegrated post-merge.
That makes it 3 good, 3 bad. Fifty fifty. Survivor is no longer bankable.
Sure, Survivor wearables still attract me like shit attracts flies. Sure, I'd still give my left nut to actually play the game, but when is that ever going to happen?
So I renounce my fandom. At least until the fall.
(But don't think for a minute I can't still BRING
IT:
Heidi tonight, first Rob then Butch on Sunday, leaving
Matt and Jenna for the Final 2. At the very least, Rob, Deena,
Alex and Heidi will vote for Jenna, if not Dave as well, making Jenna
the single suckiest moron ever to win Survivor, ever. But don't get me
wrong - I'd be nothing short of ecstatic if the votes tally differently and
Matthew wins.)
NO SALLAH?!?!?!
May 8 2003 - 11:24
a.m.
John Rhys-Davies doesn't think he'll be in Indy 4! A travesty! A tragedy! Malt beerrrrr! Rrrrrrrrred meat off the bone! AND MY AXE!!
Fuckin' Angel
May 8 2003 - 10:11
a.m.
Fuckin' Angel. Get your fuckin' lips offa Buffy nowlike!
spike spike spike spike spike spike spike spike spike spike spike
And yeah, the dreams have started up again. Let's say that in last night's dream, Buffy's solution to the problem was... unique... it involved sand.... and then Angel and Cordelia showed up in wedding clothes but Angel chose Buffy after all. Even in my dreams I can't get a break, I just end up hanging out with Dawn on the porch talking about the Meaning of It All, and watching Harmony lead the lambs to the slaughter...
You are the Phil of my life
May 8 2003 -
1:37 a.m.
Ding, dong, the punk-ass bitchkid is dead! No more Connor! No more Connor! Okay, it wasn't quite as good as Angel ripping whiny-boy's head off and dribbling it through the lobby of Wolfram & Hart, but as long as it keeps His Royal Irritatingness off the series next year, I'm good.
So, the Fang Gang has been given command of the Enterprise. This is the big bold new direction they were talking about? I dunno, it seems kind of lame. In the space of six months I have vacillated wildly on Angel, from not watching the show at all, to buying and loving the first season on DVD, to having one of the freakiest television-watching hours of my life with one of the episodes, to finding the Jasmine arc ultimately unfulfilling and trite. So.... dunno. If this is the only Whedon I get next year, it won't be anywhere near enough.
Meh. Matrix review. Meh. Bought my tickets today! We'll see, I'm trying not to get to up on it because no matter what happens, I dont' think it can hit the mark. Saw X2 again today, though... even better the second time. What a flick. What a flick!
Hellbent for leather
May 7 2003 - 11:05
a.m.
See Matt run! See Matt crank out Webisodes faster than he can type! See Matt bend deadend.com over his knee and spank it like a naughty, naughty girl!
just another innocent tuesday
May 6 2003
- 6:46 p.m.
 |
Jason gave me the Alien vs. Predator boxed set today. I don't give much of a fuck about the Predator but that Alien is one sweet action figure. I've seen a lot of *good* renditions of the Gigermönster in plastic over the years, but this is a *great* rendition. Glowing egg sacs... perfect! Looking forward to getting the Alien³ and Alien: Resurrection versions in the near future, and having a big ol' Alien fest come winter.
This puts MacFarlane way into the lead for this year's Best Toys list - aside from the Imperial Shuttle, nothing Hasbro has done so far has hit this level.
I also recorded a video piece today called "What Deadend.com Has Meant To Me." I'll post a link to that as soon as it's done, even if it's a bit of a fairy tale all things considered.
Had a meeting this afternoon about one of our larger projects and then fucked off to the DVD Wave to buy the seventh season of The X-Files.... god I love working for myself.... I'm also rather fond of the fact that I hyphenate and non-hyphenate "X Files" fairly interchangeably.
When you hear the bullwhip crack.... like this...
May
6 2003 - 9:46 a.m.
For those who haven't heard: the Indiana Jones DVD collection has finally been confirmed! YAY! And they're still using that damned Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark title! ANTI-YAY! But who cares, I'm watching Indy for Christmas. Actually it's coming out on November 4th, which also happens to be the release of Deep Space Nine season 6 and X-Files season 8, thus making it the new running candidate for Most Expensive DVD Day Of My Life.
The snake reflection's in the trailer, which gives me hope.
Check it all out at IndianaJones.com....
Yay Indy!
May 5 2003 - 8:02 p.m.
1. It's Matrix Buffy!!
2. Yep, Giles is evil. GILES IS FUCKING EVIL!!!
3. Never open the fucking box!!!!!
4. Sooooooooooooooooo sexy..............
5. Big shiny red axe gonna cut Caleb's head off!
Sha-zam. Rebecca Rand Kirshner's final turn at bat was a good one. Got off to a slow start but by the time everyone was mackin' on everyone else, this episode was firing on all thrusters. I like Faith's "service the General" approach best - a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do when she's randy from the prison showers.
Yep, Giles is evil. He cut the Bringer's throat just before the Bringer would have properly elucidated the fact that Buffy was right last week - the power center (big shiny red axe!) is in the vineyard, not the school. Sooooooooooooo... all those hints way the hell back in the day, not so much, huh? Where's our Giles? Maybe Angel's gonna bring him next week. Maybe he's been hanging out with Angel? Maybe?
Here's a noggin-scratcher: what is the First's connection to death? I mean, if she has a little piece of all the people she pretends to be, how does she get it? And what does that mean about dying - if even Buffy, who we know went to heaven, left something behind that could be taken up by the First Evil?
Lovely to see Eliza get one more run around the block with Harry Groener, who's looking a bit gaunt but otherwise was just as funny as ever. But c'mon Faith: I can't believe you fell for that shit!
One glimpse of Kennedy's tongue stud and I was gone. I was
nowhere on this earth. That could very well have been the End for me. The whole
third act - o ye of much luvvin' - was so sweet, especially (obviously) Spike's
speech. He fucking nailed it: what love is, what the purest form of it really
means, and why Buffy's such a dumbass sometimes.
But what was in
Buffy's note back to Spike? It was fairly lengthy.
Quote o' the week: "They're just sinners.... you are sin."
Oh, and before I go get my gun, a big thumbs down to ATV for a broadcast that was almost completely unwatchable. I would have got more out of the program watching it through a telescope from the top of a lighthouse.
Right. Two more. Two to go. Grave. Very grave....
And multiply by X....
May 5 2003 - 10:04
a.m.
No, it's not more X2 blather, it's VCR4x, now playing in the Tederick.com Theatre! To quote Scotty, "Hang on lassie, it gets bumpy from here..."
Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom
May 4
2003 - 10:56 a.m.
I may have busted shins, and my fingers may crack, and I may have noticeable trouble digesting raw vegetables, but I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
And now for today's best slice o' Internet Pie: check this out! I highly recommend watching both original and remixed versions. The planet has a new champion, and it ain't me!
Free Comic Book Day!
May 3 2003 - 5:55
p.m.
I feel indescribably stupid for hurting myself so badly yesterday - it's put a damper on a weekend that I was quite looking forward to. Oh sure, we all try to focus on the bright side, but I literally could barely get out of bed this morning, and it wasn't just the lack of sleep. I'm sure I'll look back and laugh someday at my da-da-da-da-doom descent down them concrete steps, but right now it's just pissing me off.
No matter. I had a great Free Comic Book Day, first visiting
Golden City to
collect a whole pile of new comic books I'll enjoy trying out in the next few
weeks. Once in that environment, of course, I also spent a fuckload of
money on other issues I'd been looking for (I even bought Fray on spec,
although I guess it's not too much of a gamble). Funny how that "free" stuff
always leads to the "not so free" stuff.
 |
Then I hobbled downtown for a while and bought myself a Jay figure, and also Luann Van Houten, completing my Van Houten collection. (And I'm salivating over the Movie Maniacs 6 Alien figures... hopefully I'll get my hands on 'em soon enough.)
So yeah, it sucks that my ambitions of a massive bike ride today, not to mention a great soccer game tomorrow, have been completely and utterly shitcanned by the bleeding lumps of flesh formerly known as my legs, cuz I really don't want to spend the weekend indoors watching movies and television shows... guess I'll grab my pile o' comic books, find a park bench somewhere, and sip some lemonade.
And of course, there's the X2 review. All over the city, people are spazzing out about this flick, and rightly so. Heck of a lot of fun. My review contains spoilers, so consider thyself warned before reading it. After a year of bad Spider-Man blood, I'll take Wolverine and the Hulk any day.
Blood and Bones
May 3 2003 - 5:45
a.m.
Yes, that would be me, taking a wicked fall down the steps in Pape Station and destroying both my legs and my favourite baggy pants and my chances of ever scoring on Chris again. Yes, that was me a few minutes later, washing blood down the already-filthy Bloor Station bathroom drain. And that was me a few minutes after that, stumbling into the Paramount to catch the crazy-sold-out 1 a.m. screening of X2.
I'll review tomorrow... it's quarter to six in the frickin' morning! I've gotta stop spinning the clock, this just can't be good for me, but I can't help it, I love the colour of dawn - and the smells, and the way the sound slowly fades in.
But I had such a good time tonight. Good flick, good friends, good griddlecakes. God knows how I'm going to do my Free Comic Book Day extravaganza on mere moments of sleep and two busted legs, but I shall persevere, I'm sure. Walking into traffic with impunity remains my mutant superpower.
And yes, I'm a terrible friend: we lost Steve and Brandy in the sell-out madness that was all of today's X2 screenings. I bought four tickets at five o'clock as a precautionary measure, and at six, all screenings were sold out. But I was so looking forward to all this... how could I not go?
Hmmm... Friday
May 2 2003 - 4:25
p.m.
Wow. I watched a whole season of Buffy this week. That's a lotta Buffy. Makes me miss The X Files... fortunately there's a cure for that.
Boyyyyyyyyyy..... I really don't have a life.
But I'm seeing X2 tonight! Yay!
Evil Stepsisters
May 1 2003 - 9:11
p.m.
So very cordial of Mr. Bush to declare an end to his little war. I'm sure the free people of Middle-Earth are ever so grateful.
And on the other side of the world: that's some fucked up Survivor. Absolutely infuriating. Bile rises in my throat. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!! It's an even sadder day for Survivor than I thought. The show's always had its ups and downs but the last few weeks have been the first time I've found it genuinely offensive. I hope the reunion episode culminates with Christy stabbing Jenna in the head.
Obviously the game's now completely changed... forget everything I said below... I won't even bother with a new prediction. Fuck I hate those evil stepsisters. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!! Hate Rob, Hate Jenna, Hate Ugliest Woman On Earth Ever Ever Heidi! Hate the marginalization of the different by the standardized American norm! HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!
Boy, given that I'm not a man particularly prone to hate, that's a lot of hate.
Day of Thunder, wherein Matt contemplates the future of many
things
May 1 2003 - 4:08 p.m.
Survivor:
Look for Heidi to go tonight, and Rob to go next week. That leaves Butch, Matt, Jenna and Christy as the final four. The degree to which the producers have gone out of their way to marginalize Christy is truly sick, but also very demonstrative of where the voting mores will lie. As the only person in the Final Four capable of defeating the other three, Butch will be an easy target for the first elimination in the final episode. As for who's in the final two, I'm not really sure, but I'll say this: it's looking increasingly probable that darkhearted swimsuit model Jenna is the Sole Survivor this time around. Neither Matthew nor Christy would defeat her in a final vote due to the way they have both been irresponsibly and unjustifiably villified by the dimwitted members of the jury. It's a sad, sad day for Survivor.
The Summer Movie Season:
Woo-who, it's X2! X2 is actually the summer flick I'm looking forward to the most, more so than Matrix or any of the others. We'll see if it lives up to my expectations, remembering that X1 was only particularly enjoyable because of the degree to which it didn't suck. (Boy, my writing has improved a lot in three years.)
Free Comic Book Day:
That's right, Saturday's the happiest day of the year! Swing by your local comic shop to partake of a bunch o' free titles that will inspire and titillate. I'll be at Golden City Comics around midday and will then swing into the downtown core to take advantage of a few sales. It's a heck of a lot of fun to get free comic books, and to celebrate the arrival of yet another comic book movie (even if last time's was Spider-Man), so don't miss out!
The Summer:
Something went "pop" last night because all the buds have exploded, that scent is in the air, it's becoming noticeably humid and the nasty, nasty April we just suffered through seems to be entirely behind us. This is Good.
The Sleep Depravation:
Feel very strange....
Doing your taxes at five in the morning
May 1 2003 - 5:26 a.m.
...is not fun. But hey, it beats listening to Prick hump the wall, or lying in bed pondering the meaninglessness of human existence.
Down with Connor
May 1 2003 - 2:39
a.m.
I really fucking hate Connor. I mean I really, really, really hate that stupid little snotrag. You know how he punched through Jasmine's face tonight? I'd like someone to do that to him.
As for the rest of the episode, and the "new direction" Angel will be taking starting with next week.... ZUH?!