It's been a while...
June 30 2003 - 10:37 a.m.

but this is definitely a Stupid Link:

The Finger Gallery.

Beginning of the End
June 30 2003 - 9:48 a.m.

Episode III has started shooting - not that the webcam is showing me much, of course - but still, it's an exciting time. Hopefully someone will sneak some costume shots of Obi-Wan soon so I can get an idea of what I'm up against....

....wow. The last one. Here we go!

Gregory Peck a few weeks ago, and now Katharine Kepburn has also died, yesterday at the age of 96. We're losing the last of the great ones here.

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad
June 29 2003 - 9:20 p.m.

What a weekend. I did nothing. I mean nothing. I completely and utterly failed to accomplish a single thing. In fact I am nothing short of gobsmacked that a full 48 hours has passed since the weekend began. There has been a complete and absolute absence of anything.

Well, that's not entirely true. I did finish Yet Another Draft of Subculture, with which I am now utterly disenchanted. I also started working on a new trailer for Bone Daddy which will play exclusively with the premiere screening of Sweetener. Not on the internet, not in real theatres, just with Sweetener. And it gives everything away. It's kind of like seeing the movie, only without the dull bits.

Tonight was just gorgeous. I walked down to the Indigo after dinner and got caught in the grand mama of all storms. I saw, for the first time in my life, green sky, which was immediately followed by a such a violent spate of hailstones that I was fairly sure I had been booked on a one-way flight to Oz that would be lifting off any moment, but fortunately no funnels touched down near me and I made it to the book store only slightly damp.

I finally bought Sheila Heti's book, partially out of belated solidarity and partially out of blind, consuming envy. She was in the paper again this weekend... next Alice Munro and all that... It's all terribly fascinating. I'll crack the book when I'm done the second read of Phoenix... which I am taking a mercifully long time with. I'm only in the mid-hundreds!

Given that I only have 24 hours to do it in, and no functioning printer, I don't know how in hell I'm going to get my reviews into contention for film festival accreditation... but hey, I've worked under worse.

Let's Get Ready to RUMBLE
June 27 2003 - 10:08 a.m.

He's baaaa-ack...

Climate Control
June 26 2003 - 10:16 p.m.

Boy, y'know, I don't think I've spent an evening at home since about a week ago Monday. Very unusual for me and I'm rather happy to just be here in air conditioned goodness. I even got a bit of writing done! Can't say fairer than that.

The frosty temperatures in my living room met the stifling humidity of my kitchen at around 2:00 this afternoon and a thunderstorm started in my hall... it was very cool to watch. Zapped the living shit out of one of my Leia dolls... but that's okay, her hair sucked anyway.

It's absolutely lovely to be reading Harry Potter at a more languid pace this time around. I'm only on page 60!

Glacial
June 25 2003 - 5:33 p.m.

For the sake of my friend Jason, who is celebrating a birthday today, let me assure the general public that I am never, ever suicidal and that really, nothing ever bothers me.

However, the heat issue in my apartment was irksome, so Jason and I went and purchased a fine air conditioning unit which has been installed and is currently reducing the temperature in my little sweatbox from infernal to temperate.

Peace out.

Baked
June 25 2003 - 1:14 p.m.

It's the end of the world. The signs are not horsemen or floods. The signs are unfathomable heat and a complete and utter lack of air conditioning. I'm done for. I'm having weird liquid thoughts, I haven't slept in days, and walking around outside is like trying to swim through human blood. It's over, people, it's all over...!!!

All The Things She Said
Running Through My Head
June 24 2003 - 9:42 p.m.

Wow. I finished Harry Potter today. And wow. I'm going to read it again, of course, starting tonight - and good lord, one hopes at a more languid pace. But wow. Wow wow wow wow wow.

The short version: this is The Empire Strikes Back for the Harry Potter series. It's dark, it's intense, and although Rowling's trademark humour (and wry winks at her older readers) is still there in droves, the sheer weight of the events in the wizarding world can't help but make Harry's life a tremendously stressful and unhappy one right now. There's a lot going on in Phoenix without there ever really being a single driving thrust to the events like there was in Books 1-4. Nope: this is definitely the book where certainties like "if I find the Philosopher's Stone I win" go right out the window. Better for it: for the first time, I'm tremendously irritated with C.S. Lewis for refusing to let his Narnia heroes grow up. Phoenix might fill that odd space between children's book and adult, but it's treading in territory that's been left largely unexplored. Where else would our fantasy hero have his first kiss, and then dream of attacking his surrogate father, as a giant snake?

I haven't decided if I'll write a formal, full-length review of this yet - never written a book review, don't know if I can do it. (Never written a book before, either, so I don't know if I'm qualified.) But I'm sure there will be more prattle.

As far as spoilers go: I'll hold off on gassing about the Big Death for a while, but you'd be well advised to choose between Potter and Tederick.com if you still haven't read it by Harry's birthday.

No Really
June 24 2003 - 4:22 p.m.

I WANT BOOK SIX. Now, please.

(boy, I lasted twenty-five whole minutes)

The Second War Begins
June 24 2003 - 3:57 p.m.

Done.

Rolling Panic Attack
June 24 2003 - 1:16 p.m.

Remember that site we launched yesterday? Kind of pooched itself at around 11:00, so it's been dealing with that all day. Which translates into large periods of waiting punctuated by horrible moments of furious activity. The result of this being that I'm on page 644 of Order of the Phoenix, in striking distance of finishing the book within the next two hours. I'm very, very nervous.

Under Your Spell
June 24 2003 - 1:03 a.m.

Hold on, I think I've got an idea: I'm not going to read Harry Potter before I go to bed tonight. Problem solved!

Well, not entirely; it's about a billion degrees in my apartment right now. There will be air conditioning soon.... oh will there ever be air conditioning soon. But until then.... zuh.

Hulk smash! Hulk review.

Bust Out Yer Spending Fingers
June 23 2003 - 9:52 a.m.

Okay, the National Geographic documentary was shite but you gotta admit, the Argonath statues that came with last year's Ultra-Ultra-Ultra-deluxe special edition of Fellowship of the Ring on DVD were fairly spiffing. Well, today New Line announces what lies in wait for the truly spend-silly among us, and it's much more enticing: this year's 5-disk big boxed set of the extended cut (not to be confused with the 4-disk non-boxed set of the extended cut) includes a Gollum statue by Weta Workshop, and a documentary about the precious little bugger. Sweeeeeet.

Turns out if I'd read two more pages last night, I would have slept better.

Here's something hilarious: James Marsters' yearbook photo.

If he looked that dorky when he was 17, does that mean I have a fighting chance of looking that good when I'm 40? I'm counting on those abs, man.

Brain Sickness
June 23 2003 - 2:42 a.m.

Yeah it's a quarter to three in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm way too wired. I'm actually forcing myself not to read Harry Potter because if I read any more tonight, I'll almost certainly go utterly insane. I'm in the 430s, by the way. Thinking that I would scarcely get a chance to read at all today, I somehow killed 200 pages.

I have to start working in about six hours and I will actually do it, I will, I won't spend the whole day reading. Right now if I felt I could make a reasonable leap to the end of the book, I'd just plough through and do it. But 350 more pages is a bit much even for me... and besides, I'd much rather give the thing a fighting chance of lasting into the middle of the week.

Here's the SPOILER WARNING, because I shall now rant.

I was all ready to go to bed and feel happy and whatnot. Harry kissed Cho, it was absolutely gorgeously written and I'm like yeah, that's the good shit. (Last night, I went to bed happy as soon as Hermione worked up the courage to say "Voldemort." That almost brought tears to my eyes.) But no, I read another damn page and what happens.... fucking Harry's whole world goes insane, that's what happens. I still don't really know how or why Harry envisioned himself (snake-self) attacking Mr. Weasley, or why he then wanted to take a good swipe at Dumbledore, although it does feed nicely into some long-standing theories of mine. But I'll tell you this: it ain't goin'-to-bed material. I'm like a live wire right now.

It's dark, it's scary, it's intense as a motherfucker. I don't know how I'll feel about it but reading this thing is like being forced to watch Episode II for the first time, one scene at a time, over the course of a week. It's the mindfuck to end all mindfucks. I knew this was going to be hard... I didn't know it was going to be this hard.

GARGH. End spoilers.

Okay, done with that, gonna eat some PB and watch some Buffy supplements and then try to bag some sleep before the Week of Heat gets started.

Oh right: I haven't even mentioned Day Two of Gorberfest 2003, wherein a lovely cocktail party was thrown for Melissa and Todd and a good time was had by all. I think I'm finally starting to get Jason's father's sense of humour - actually I'm beginning to suspect I'll be exactly like him when I'm his age. Could a What the hell happened to SENES? be far behind?

I'm quite glad I've been taking part in all this... it's kind of nice to actually drag out the good pants once in a while.

Haven't seen Hulk yet so please don't spoil it for me. Hopefully in a couple of days....

Harry Potter and the Engorgement Charm
June 21 2003 - 11:41 p.m.

I've had a very full day.

Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry full. Current state = loagy. Trying to think.... put it all back together for weblog dissertation.... formulating... formulating... here goes.

I finally put down the book and shut off the light at around 3:30 in the morning, had long and vivid Harry Potter dreams and then woke up at 9:30, turned the light back on, picked up the book and got back to it. To get right to the point I'm on page 232 right now, which makes me just shy of a third of the way through. It's great but it's sooooooooo depressing. Just one time, it would be lovely if Jo Rowling would write an installment where Harry goes to Hogwarts and has a lot of fun, maybe some candy, picks up a girlfriend, wins the Quidditch tournament, and tells a few jokes. That would be really spiffing.

I left the house just after noon and went down to the Second Cup, where I proceeded to sit on the patio and read for several hours. This was great. A bunch of Hawaiian dancers were out in force at the store promoting some new iced beverage they're selling, so I'd read a few paragraphs, watch the girls in coconut bikinis dance, read some more, listen to the drum music, read some more, etc. This was a great way to really get into the meat of the book.

I'm apparently the only person on earth who hadn't heard the "somebody dies" rumour until yesterday, and now that I'm reading it I'm absolutely livid with terror of thinking of who it will be. (It won't be my guess of a few days ago. I've got an even darker, and more upsetting, theory, presented in Inviso-Text: It's one of the Weasley twins. We've never seen one without the other - and if I wasn't convinced before chapter nine, that was all I needed to finish me off. Well, hopefully I won't be reading it on the train when I come to that part, because of course I'll burst into tears.

So by five o'clock, with a whole bunch of Potter (and two episodes of Buffy) and some coffee under my belt, I was feeling decidedly odd. Fortunately it was Jason's annual Scaramouche dinner tonight, which managed to drag me out of Hogwarts for a few hours and stuff me so freakin' full, I'm livid with the meat sweats right now.

This was my fourth time at bat, and tonight I served as the date of the lovely and vivacious Patricia Hamilton, also my host. While I was certainly by no means equal to that particular challenge, Patricia was gracious enough to let me stay in the restaurant, and I ate my filet mignon and truffle-whipped potatoes and gnocchi and a gobsmackingly rich caramel-chocolate tart in a state of utter glee. Blair - who, notably, was not in attendance last year, last year being the year that Blair did not attend - was there, as was Kelly (and how lovely of her to commute all the way from Ottawa). Don Gorber berated me for not bringing him DVDs (again), Chandra made good, Jason got presents, and I finally met Melissa - so it was a big, full night.

Did I say full? I meant FULL. Full. Full. Very very fullllllllllllllllllllll.

Hmmm.

I think I'll read.

Deep Code
June 21 2003 - 12:19 p.m.

Shhhhhh.... reading.

Dudley Demented
June 21 2003 - 1:26 a.m.

The shortest night of the year sure seems long while you're waiting, wand-in-hand and cloak-on-back, in a crowded Indigo for somebody, anybody, to bust out a 766-page yellow-jacketed tome called Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

I wasn't first in line - actually I was fourth. But the girl who was first was so excited about being there, that I didn't even think about jinxing everything in sight just to get to the head of the line. ("Jinxing everything in sight" is one of my new favourite phrases.) (So's "Millicent Bullstrode's no pixie.") (Zuh.)

Midnight rolled around soon enough - the cheering started - and then they finally cracked open those endless cardboard boxes - BAM. Yellow. Big. Monstrously thick. There was a moment of panic when Indigo Girl couldn't get the book in the bag - this moment lasted for hours before I suavely said "Idontneedabag" and grabbed the book and ran. Gone. Bex and I raced out of the store, giddy as overstimulated Hufflepuffs, and tear-assed through a crowd of people flocked around the door, wands flashing and books held high... and then ran down to the only open coffee shop in the neighbourhood - a damned Tim's - to read the first chapter.

Which left me veritably gobsmacked. Head in hands - mouth open. Swirl the hot chocolate around in the bottom of the cup and think about it. Then off home. I read some more on the subway and came within half a second of not getting out of the train at my stop.

And now it's 1:30 in the morning and I won't be sleeping for a loooooooooooong time....

The hell with yoga! I finally have Book Five!!!

The Beginning
June 20 2003 - 5:34 p.m.

Finished. Finished Goblet of Fire - for the fourth time. You know what would really hit the spot right now? Another book. What should I read? Wait a minute... wait a minute... of course!

I love that book, by the way. It gets better every time. Just when I think I'm starting to overestimate it, it hits me with the whammy again. What a read. It's got all the fetish Potter stuff - just spending that much time in the environment is wonderful, and you get to know the characters so well - along with a crackling adventure story (and some very important Hero Deeds) for Harry. And then when you just think you've got it all figured out, BAM, it hits you with the three scariest chapters ever, followed by the momentous goings-on that follow the rise of Voldemort, as the good guys get ready to face the imminent war. Could anything be more perfect?

Also wrapping up a fairly hefty work week. TSFA.ca still not quite ready for launch - but it oughta go up on Monday, which is endlessly good news.

Well... gee. I finished six and a half hours too early. What am I going to do for six and a half hours?

The Dream
June 19 2003 - 11:59 p.m.

24 hours...

....146 pages left.

Too many things
June 19 2003 - 9:11 p.m.

Okay it's a big day for Star Wars, I grant you. Now they've announced that Mon Mothma's in the flick, and I'm watching some dude put together the Threepio costume right now - in full-on goldenrod gold. WOO HOO!

Now it's a movie
June 19 2003 - 6:56 p.m.

One minute it's a big wooden crate... the next minute, the lid comes off, and out pops R2-D2, making his first appearance on the Episode III webcam today. Now it feels like Star Wars. Chewie... R2... Obi-Wan and Lucas.... the gang's all here. Even R5-D4 showed up about a half hour after R2!

I'm taking a crack at getting a press pass for this year's film festival. Good good!

Sneak
June 18 2003 - 7:26 p.m.

I saw Ewan on the webcam today. At least I think it was Ewan. The shoulder slouch and "fuck you webcam!" attitude was fairly recognizeable. The on-set journal makes it sound like old Obi's look is going to be fairly nifty for Episode III - I'm going to have to grey my temples - and hopefully, no mullet this time. They're bloody expensive.

Haven't even started yet, and it's already the best costume ever...

Zealot
June 18 2003 - 10:15 a.m.

The madness has taken me - two days till Harry!!! Who gives a flying featherduster about Hulk anyway? But as I edge closer and closer to the end of Goblet of Fire, I'm becoming increasingly fearful of one eventuality. I shall present it in Inviso-Text so as not to spoil the virtuous, even though it is only a supposition: I think Dumbledore's gonna buy it in Book Five. It makes sense, structurally - the war is beginning, and Harry will have to lose his greatest teacher, Kenobi-style. Eek!

Meanwhile, it's looking like full steam ahead on the film franchise: they're pegging Christmas of 2005 for the film of Goblet, and the summer of 2007 for the film of Phoenix. Looks like the Cutie Posse will stay on at least for the fourth film, and if they can keep up this rate of production, I don't see any reason why they can't stay for Five as well. Then everything hits the brick wall when it takes Jo Rowling another decade and a half to finish Book Six. My life is an endless waiting game.

A... bear! You made a bear! UNDO IT! UNDO IT!
June 17 2003 - 10:06 a.m.

Any resolve on my part to stretch out my Buffy Season Four experience dissolved on Sunday night when Dave revealed that he and April were further through the season than I was. Now, this isn't a beat-Chris-to-300-DVDs kind of pissing contest, more of an alcoholic-falls-off-the-wagon-under-peer-pressure sort of a deal. Fortunately the whole Faith miasma will have me tripping over to the Fang Gang for a couple of days, which oughta slow things back down nicely.

Meanwhile, 353 Potter Pages to Go. I know this because it's written on my white board.

Finally got my Matrix clips digitized last night - this is for a wonky experimental flick project for the FORPs that Grandmaster Tebby envisioned, helped along by the Mania of Chris. Then I spent two hours trying to render dripping Matrix code in After Effects. It can be done, but it takes a loooooooooongo time.

And speaking of longo: Georgie Boy is in Sydney! Yay Episode III! Star Wars was feeling a little left out yesterday after my glowing Potter pronouncement so let me make it clear: I love you too, Star Wars.

Wherein Matt states the obvious
June 16 2003 - 1:34 p.m.

I just LOVE Harry Potter. I love every single thing about him/them/this. I'm reading Goblet too fast... at this point I could finish it by Wednesday. And that just won't do!

Hush
June 16 2003 - 10:19 a.m.

My first Unabridged! short, "Addendum," is available for speedy download in the Tederick.com Theatre.

Zonked Again
June 15 2003 - 3:34 p.m.

I got hit in the face with the soccer ball today - at point-blank range. It was a perfect cartoon moment: went totally limp, crashed to the ground, got up with most of my opinions changed, and little tweety birds doing the electric boogaloo around my forehead area to the tune of "Little Spanish Flea." Momentarily lost my memories of grades 4-12... came roaring back, remembered the whole Heather Anderson thing, wished they'd stayed away longer. I was momentarily happy!

Boy I tells ya, this heat is something else. I must now endeavour to reassemble my sense of self, and also wash the slimy sublock residue out of my increasingly hedgehoggy hair. And then: pasta with pesto! mwa ha ha ha.

"Girls don't like Star Wars." (Hands on hips / Hermione frown:) Honestly!

Heated
June 15 2003 - 12:55 a.m.

I watched The Ice Storm today and tried to imagine how each scene would lead to a Hulk-rage. "Seventies key party... HULK SMASH!!" and whatnot. I've decided that Hulk is going to be the best movie ever. EVER. Or it'll be really really confusing.

What else've I got for ya: Whale Rider review, for starters. I had a good time this week with the occasional movie-going and even more occasional movie-making. My week off is now pretty much done, and I really only got one movie made: an Unabridged short, "Addendum." I'm pretty happy with it, though, so I guess I can't complain. I'll post it when it's finalized.

But I'm happy about VCR finally targeting the festival circuit. And I'm feeling good about the variety of little projects I now have on the go. I'm not feeling particularly good about Subculture any more... I've promised myself that I'll finish off this draft, and then put it away for a while and try something else. Art & Fear and all.

The humidity has finally arrived and guess what? My apartment is stiffling and uncomfortable. Sigh. And then, gasp and pass out.

Fortunately my screens are all now whole and in place and I can have windows open and listen to the wind rattle through the long dark corridor o' love. That, and be amazed by just how much noise a street can make at one in the damned morning!

To everybody who's visiting my web site for the first time right now: you believed the hype, now live with the disappointment.

Lucky Son of a...
June 13 2003 - 9:43 a.m.

The on-site Lucasfilm computer repair guy is playing Saesee Tiin in Episode III. GOD DAMMIT!!! If I'd only dedicated my years of study to the repair of errant laptops, I could be in Star Wars! Man, they never tell you that shit in high school guidance offices when you're trying to pick your university.

A week in, I gotta say, I'm happy with my Hyperspace purchase. No, I don't think it's for everyone but I'm finding the set reports really enjoyable and yeah, there's no substitute for the webcam. There's a door on there now. Looks like a Jedi Temple door but I might be dreaming.

(Boy, you all must think I'm nuts.)

(Yet... you're here. I'm not. I'm off doing something productive, but you're here reading this!)

(Ha-ha.)

Big shout-out of respect to Gregory Peck, who passed away yesterday. No, I don't hold with Atticus Finch being named above Indiana Jones on AFI's Movie Heroes list. But Roman Holiday... the other Spellbound... the man was cool.

One week till Harry Potter and I'm just about done Azkaban, as planned. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

Grim Defeat
June 12 2003 - 12:29 p.m.

I tell ya, with the amount of time it's taken me to get VCR ready to submit to CinemaTexas, I might as well have made six new movies.

Yes, they were listening to "Chewbacca" when they were finishing off the new Chewbacca costume down in Sydney yesterday. I fucking love Star Wars.

Pollerama
June 12 2003 - 9:55 a.m.

After watching Heathers and The Godfather duke it out for three days, the Kubrick Collection somehow managed to rally in the wee hours last night and has won Dave's DVD Poll by a nose. Which I'd say doesn't really count cuz the collection is going to cover a lot more than the hundredth slot... but hey, anything to get those numbers up, right Chris?

Dave thanks all the strangers who contributed.

Finally turned my luck around at poker last night with a decent win. I think it was the socks.

Not that it's entirely surprising, but uglymeisters Jenna and Heidi, the evil stepsisters of Survivor VI, will grace (?) the pages of August's issue of Playboy. Because we all wanted to see more of their sad, fake boobies.

Which raises an interesting question unto myself: do I actually own the Jerri issue? And if so, does that mean I need to buy this as well? God I hope the answer is no.

It'll never be Harry and Hermione, will it. It'll be Hermione n' Ron. Luke never got no skirt, neither. Just making out with his damned sister. Urgh. 793 pages to go...

Robots in Disguise
June 11 2003 - 7:51 p.m.

Yes, there is a new, live-action Transformers feature film on the way. WOO HOO! James Earl Jones as Megatron, as it was always meant to be? Please? Please?

Yay Gay!
June 11 2003 - 3:18 p.m.

Wow! Ontario rocks the gay-bah! Maybe I'll go out and get gay-married just to show my support. But who would marry me? Too gay for the straights, too straight for the gays.

On an entirely other end of the spectrum, I've been putting some thought into which non-descript Star Wars quote will appear on my tombstone. Because lists seem to be the cool blog thing to do these days, here are some of the finalists:

• "Don't everybody thank me at once"
• "I don't know how we're gonna get out of this one"
• "You'll find I'm full of surprises"
• "Only your hatred can destroy me"
• "Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen"
• "Earned it, I have"
• "There's always a bigger fish"
• "This party's over"
• "Would it help if I got out and pushed?"
• "Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!"
• "We're doomed...!"
• "Sometimes I amaze even myself"
• "We'll have no more of this Obi-Wan Kenobi gibberish"

After 18 months of reviewing every single film I've seen in theatres, I have finally hit a brick wall and must respectfully declare my inability to review the damned Dracula ballet movie.

It is hotttttttt out there. A bit too hottttt actually. I retreat to my cold dank cell to write and not watch Buffy. I have been not watching Buffy for approximately 20 of the 24 hours I have owned Buffy. I'd call that a reasonably good average, yeah?

Vwim Vwim
June 11 2003 - 10:02 a.m.

Ewan's in Australia, swinging his lightsabre around. Did I say "his" lightsabre? I meant old Obi-Wan's lightsabre!!! WOO HOO! Gonna need to buy me a brand new lightsabre this time around. And that suits me just fine. The plans are forming, and this time, believe me, the costume will be so good, it'll go on permanent display in a museum somewhere.

Guess what happened ten years ago today? Jurassic Park came out! That's just wild. The original JP was one of the five great moviegoing experiences of my life. It was my first experience with DTS, first experience with those lovely digitally-generated beasts, and man, the theatre felt like it was on a gimbal - that crowd was throbbing, man, that audience was like a roiling wave. Good times.

More Spielberg news: Catch Me If You Can, The Musical. Yup.

Finished Chamber, into Azkaban. Time's running short, though... this'll be a race to the finish.

Pound of Flesh
June 10 2003 - 3:52 p.m.

Car's outta trouble, did my errands, back home watching Buffy, and am almost calm. Buffy-folk no say when Season Five come except that it be this year. Sigh.

Now officially feeling like the stupidest person in the whole world...
June 10 2003 - 10:42 a.m.

Guess who parked on Pape last night without thinking? That would be me. Guess who's car got towed? That would be mine. Or more accurately, my dad's. GRRRRR! ARGH!!!!

Outer Smile
June 9 2003 - 4:35 p.m.

I am having a stupendous day. My in-city vacation has begun, I went to see Bend it Like Beckham today (I fucking love that movie), and I found a retro collectibles store in Yorkville that I never even knew was there. I could spend just about the rest of my life (and money) there. I got the Disney Indiana Jones fig, and just when I thought I was out of there with my mind intact, I saw the sign: "Iraq's Most Wanted" Playing Cards, $4.99. Sweet Mama McGillicutty. We've been looking for these for the poker game for months, and now we've got 'em. They're freaking hilarious!

I sat on the Big Rock and read Chamber of Secrets, conceived yet another "Unabridged" short (now I'm doing Addendum, Occlude, and Lurid).... yeah, it doesn't get much better than this. And Buffy tomorrow! Woo hoo!

Mask
June 8 2003 - 5:58 p.m.

So I flip The Simpsons on at 5:30 and it's the gay episode, which I've only seen all the way through a couple of times so I'm thinking, hey, this is pretty good luck, I'll just stick with this. Then a commercial comes up and I'm flipping momentarily and who's on Actor's Studio? The whole damned cast of The Simpsons, and they're doing the voices.

Now I'm fairly certain that there's a long-standing policy over at Gracie that the cast must never be photographed doing the character voices - so I don't know what the hell is going on here but I can see why the policy exists. I'm watching Shearer do Skinner, Castellaneta do Krusty, and it all seems tremendously bizarre - like some yobs on the street doing their best impressions, that are kinda good but still not really good, y'know? It was a very disjointed experience. Lisa Cartwright's ability to slip in and out of Bart with razor-sharp accuracy was nothing short of spooky. This is an hour of TV I've gotta tape if it comes around again... can't believe I only caught the last fifteen minutes!!!

Face
June 8 2003 - 12:07 p.m.

Hmmmmmmm.... site map, main index, job postings, CGI forms, gotta figure out whatthefuck with the help page.... hmmmm. Processing. Processing.

2 days till Buffy Season Four. Yippee! Gonna make a custom scythe for my 12" Buffy doll, and then start figuring out how I'm going to make one my-size. Might be Caleb for Hallowe'en. (All crazy bleedy-black-from-the-eyes scythe-wielding Caleb.) Might not... got another idea but it'll be 'spensive. Got a third idea but it involves an entirely other scythe, and it's still not that Grim Reaper biz I been leanin' on since the ninth grade!

1086 Potter Pages to Go, 12 days to do 'em in. No problem!

So Long Sunnydale High
June 7 2003 - 8:16 p.m.

My NTCI newsletter tells me it's official: North Toronto will be torn down to make way for a new version of the school, on the same site, which they say will be up and running in 2007. Crazy! It's not quite as good as the school being sucked into the Hellmouth (or being blown to bits to kill a giant snake) but I recognize, and am appreciative of, the symbolism.

Work work work work work work work work work work work work. Eat. Work work, work work work work read Harry Potter work. Work work. Look out window. Work. Bug cat. Work work work work work work work work work work. Use facilities. Work. Work. Work work work. Sigh. Work. Smile. Work. Laugh out of context. Work. Work work work work work.

When you write "work" that many times you realize what a strange-looking word it is. Why doesn't it rhyme with "pork?"

No complaints from me, though, about the work, I find it all rather exhilerating. The forum software we're fooling around with is damned nifty. And as with any big job that's damn near over, as soon as you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's time to bust out the margaritas. (Have I mixed enough metaphors?)

Stick it to the Man
June 6 2003 - 9:08 p.m.

Hee hee... I've filled out an IFCC fraud complaint regarding the My So-Called Life DVD boxed set fiasco. Mostly cuz it was just funny. But also cuz I'm pissed off. I swear, AnotherUniverse.com were the good guys once... they gave me so much... and then they fucked me on that sixth disk. Nobody ever fucks me on a sixth disk!

2 weeks until Order of the Phoenix and I'm not even done Philosopher's Stone. Yep, I've got a full 1200 pages to get through between now and then. Hmm. Not bloody likely.

Another week - gone. Another weekend - not really starting. Yep, it's gonna be a race to the finish on TSFA.ca, but I am in fine spirits. All is well. Why? Cuz there's a guy next to the big wooden thing!!!

Addendum to the Addendum
June 5 2003 - 7:21 p.m.

Now there's a guy next to the big wooden thing!!!

Addendum
June 5 2003 - 7:19 p.m.

Sooooooooooooooo glad I did. I am a happy whore. I do my happy dance!

Updated-every-20-seconds-Episode-III-webcam reports.... nothing unusual occuring near the big wooden thing.

Padmé... is hottt.

Depa Billaba... is apparently dead, and so is poor Oppo.

Hayden... is working on the final duel, right now!

Wow. All I've seen so far is a webcam shot of the exterior of a set, a couple of old Episode II photos, and some nondescript set diaries. And I'm so fucking happy. I mean I'm absolutely giddy. I am the world's biggest, happiest Star Wars geek!!! Happy dance. Happy dance. Happy dance!

Dusting Crops
June 5 2003 - 6:56 p.m.

Yep, I'm buying Hyperspace. One look at Starwars.com's new style was more than enough to get me. I'm such a whore.

It Was Windy
June 5 2003 - 3:54 p.m.

The picture on my Twister DVD is absolute fucking gash, but holy shmoly it sounds amazing. We're talking orgasm-inducingly good sound. And I don't even have a 5.1 setup! Yeah, as much as it pains me, I'm going to have to do that one of these days.

Yeah, I watched Twister in the mid-aft, just like I watched Attack of the Clones in yesterday's mid-aft. It's a nice way to break up the day, which is basically spent building, building, building the TSFA HTML pages, and being eternally on call for whatever new challenges Jason and Joey can throw at me. Actually it's quite rewarding in its way. I've been waiting to gut this site for two years, and it's lovely to finally be doing it.

Also, I've got a bunch o' potential film projects on the go.... but not until next week.

Shafted
June 5 2003 - 1:28 a.m.

I got stuck in an elevator for over an hour tonight. Some of the members of my poker group decided that jumping up and down in the elevator would be good for a larf - it was hilarious until the elevator stopped dead just below Floor 5. Since it was a condominium with a large Chinese population, there was no Floor 4, which may or may not have hindered rescue efforts. But we were stuck in the damn thing for an hour!!!

Now I'm not particularly prone to claustrophobia per se (and thank goodness for that, in this situation), but I do like being able to stretch my rather brutish legs now and again. We all sat down and played a few hands of Guts (using the only cards available, porn star cards, which isn't an element you want to introduce into an environment containing five men and one lonely woman) and then just chitchatted while becoming increasingly angsty towards the building security staff who weren't exactly jumping on the problem with bushels of helpfulness. I meditated. I tried to ignore the evil harsh lights and the way the marble floor was leaching the heat out of my ass.

They finally popped us out at ten to one in the morning, by which time the whole elevator smelled like ass. Karmically, I never thought we were going to die, because no one has a day as bad as Jason had and then actually dies at the end of it. But it was peevish. Very peevish.

Actually the whole day was basically a write-off. Stupid Rogers and Look fucked each other up the ass yet again, and I had no e-mail or FTP for most of the day and yes, you Rogers clients may have noticed that you couldn't find your way onto Tederick.com either, cuz the son'bitch was inaccessible through Rogers lines for a good dollop of the afternoon. FUN!!!

Fortunately I just did some work and watched Attack of the Clones which raised my spirits considerably. Then Jason and I went to the Keg and devoured of the steak. A good pick-me-up, although the steak made me logy. Steak always makes me logy.

Ooh, more good news. Thanks to your votes, Blue Crush is DVD #200 in my collection. I shall soon supercede Chris and become DVD Master. Beware!

Whatever shall tomorrow bring...?

I'll leave you with a ponderable: why does the trailer for The Incredibles use the theme from On Her Majesty's Secret Service? Does Finding Nemo ever crank out Tom Jones' Thunderball theme?

Drainage
June 4 2003 - 10:45 a.m.

No man should be forced to confront how much money he spent on toys and DVDs in the calendar year 2002.

Hello Black-Eyed Girl!
June 3 2003 - 4:31 p.m.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrguably fantastic!

Dark Willow n' Vamp Willow, revealed at last:

Thought I was just going to buy Dark Willow, but hey, that's a pretty sweet vamp face. Maybe I shall populate my apartment with many Willows. Maybe I will do a Willow the White, while I'm at it. Maybe. Damn you Moore for making me love you and then making me wait until September to order your damned exclusive figures!

Qui-Gon
June 3 2003 - 3:37 p.m.

It never hurts to brush up on the basics. Please send this link to every idiot you know.

Boy Howdy
June 3 2003 - 9:48 a.m.

Can you feel the exciting tingles crawling up and down Matt's neck? It's almost time to start shooting Episode III in Sydney, which gets me all emotional every time they go and do one of these things. Plus, some pics are bound to leak out and I can start working on my costume. MWA HA HA.

I'll admit, the whole Hyperspace thing is verrrrrrrrry tempting to a poor Star Wars nerd like me.

Zif! Zaf!
June 2 2003 - 9:50 a.m.

Couple of new reviews: one for The Animatrix, which I watched over the weekend, and of course, the ever-popular Deep Space Nine Season Three review. Of course, with all these X-Files and other nonsuch, who knows when I'll actually get to Season Three in my home viewing, but fortunately for you, the reader, I have committed all these episodes to memory.

Spike
June 1 2003 - 6:47 p.m.

Hey, it's June! Guess that means it's time to add my pictures of myself as Spike to the Gallery. Done.

It's looking like Cube. It's looking very much like Cube. Why?

One letter, one number, one beautiful hyphen:

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