There's no way around it. I've been watching Fear and
Loathing's Criterion DVD all week and now, when I work, I talk to my
computer in Hunter S. Thompson's voice. "Open the file, ya goddamn thing!
Whatsamatter with you! I oughta kick you ass-first out the window you horrible
contraption. FINISH - THE FUCKING - UPLOAD!!"
It bleeds into my phone conversations, too. On with my sister
just now: "Yes! That was with the pants! That shirt is a breadcrumb leading to
the pants, man. You're halfway there already!" Of course, no one on the phone
is in on the joke, so they just think I've gone suddenly crazy.
Boy, if I ever did drugs. Boy.
Never turn your back on me July 31 2003 -
10:55 a.m.
Oh FINALLY - the first look at Obi-Wan in Episode
III!
So, costume notes for the geeks like me:
Head and hair match Alec Guinness' Episode IV coife
Wearing old Obi-Wan's lightsabre
Inner tunic is dark brown, again à la Episode IV
Otherwise apparently identical to Episode II costume (robes
have shoulder tuck, poncho is mid-thigh length, boots appear the same?)
Newspaper is assumed to not be a prop from the film. We're
looking into this. Motorcycle is similarly optional, though these would be some
bitchin' riding threads.
Well, I'd better get to work. Those boots are gonna be MAD
expensive.... but not nearly as bad as the damned lightsabre.
The Devil To Do July 31 2003 - 12:37
a.m.
(Happy birthday Harry! And JK Rowling, come to that. We thank
you both every day for coming into this world and saving all our lives.)
Turns out there are quite a few things you can do in the city of
Toronto when everyone else is at SARSapalooza. Go to Wonderland, for example.
Or organize a pickup game of soccer. Or watch Nashville on DVD, or have
an expansive brunch at a downtown diner, or purchase Bjork CDs and spend the
rest of the day listening to Tatu out of defiance, or - and I'm by no means
recommending this - wander the streets with your tongue out and threaten to
lick people to give them the fun SARS. It's just an endlessly entertaining
city, really.
But hold on for the real fun: I reorganized my books and DVDs
today. This was complicated by the fact that my DVDs are organized first by
television series, then by film director auteurs (alphabetically by last
name), then by miscellaneous title. And my books have no organization
whatsoever. So it was an organizational feat of gargantuan proportions.
ARRRR! I have a pirate name now thanks to the
Pirate Name Generator, a particularly Stupid Link c/o
the blog of Amber "I'm too
cool for comedy school" Grapestain.
(Whoa: links back and forth on the blogs! Check out the
Amber/Matt blog love-in.)
Rather disappointingly, though, my pirate name name is merely
Captain Sam Read. Fortunately, they expand thusly: "Even though there's no
legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Even
through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on
earth, you defy the sterotypes. You've got taste and education. Arr!"
Yes, I have many ways of amusing me.
We have reached an accord July 28 2003 -
10:35 p.m.
Pirates: 3.
Tarantallegra July 28 2003 - 10:26
a.m.
Wow. Bob Hope is dead. This parallels rather neatly my "wow, Bob
Hope is still alive" moment of a few months ago, when he turned 100.
Me, I plan to make it to 101. The reasons should be obvious.
So, someone explain this to me: When I went to see Tomb
Raider on Friday night, it was completely sold out, while the Spy
Kids screening (admittedly, a late show for a kids movie) had about fifty
people in it. But Spy KidswhallopedTR over the weekend
in a surprising reversal of the expected grosses, coming in first and fourth
respectively. Bye bye Lara... (Hello Carmen & Juni?)
Because my DVD autumn wasn't expensive enough, the two remaining
volumes of Bond flicks are being released in November. How can I turn down the
chance to own A View To A Kill?
More, More, More! July 27 2003 - 12:06
p.m.
As first official production stills go, they don't get much
better than this:
DEMENTORS ON THE LOOSE! EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR
LIVES!!!
Yeah, I really wanna see the Dementors but I can't imagine I'm
going to get the chance for a loooong time. Still, we're getting there. The
release date has been officially set for June 4th 2004. And while our favourite
trio appear to finally be properly signed for Goblet of Fire, the
leading contender to direct the flick is....
Mike Newell?
HUH? Okay, he's a Young Indy director and they're all in the permanent cool
books, but still. Give it to Agnieska Holland or, hell, Kenneth Branagh, then
we'll see something interesting.
Anyhoo. More Potterly goodness thanks to our friends at
Newsweek.
Actually I have no friends at Newsweek, I just like it when people with web
sites say that, like they're all connected to one another. "Inter" net and
all.
I just slept for eleven and a half hours. I never do
that. I also had a nap yesterday. So that makes a total of like fourteen hours
of sleep in the last twenty-four. Maybe mono? Maybe?
Reload July 26 2003 - 2:01
a.m.
Double-billed myself tonight with
Tomb Raider and
Spy Kids. Spoilers in the
former review, not so much in the latter.
Damn me and my pedantic verbosity July 25
2003 - 11:12 a.m.
Written just now to Daniel Arato:
"I've come to a sudden and rather obvious conclusion which
is: with writing skills like this, you should really have a blog.
"Oh sure, blogging sounds like a gigantic waste of time and
god knows I've tried to escape its sticky veil more than once, but you'd be
astonished how many friends, neighbours and total strangers get sucked into
your self-made world and begin to send you fun things via e-mail and
occasionally Canada Post.
"Then, before you know it, everybody's blogging right
alongside you and the need for human interaction - which, as we all know, can
be ineloquent and often degrading - disappears altogether, and everybody just
blogs endlessly, and reads the blogs of others, and in so doing, maintains a
kind of community that is otherwise quite impractical in today's workaday
world. It's endlessly efficient and gleamingly slick, like something out of an
Andre du Toit short story.
"Consider it. It is my advice to you.
"(This was such fun to write, I shall now post it on my
blog.)"
Back to School July 25 2003 - 10:44
a.m.
Well I watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas into the
wee hours last night and the result was seven uninterrupted hours of the
weirdest fucking dreams I've ever had. I guess I should have seen that coming.
Among the highlights: the center of my bed turning liquid and then flushing me,
my blankets and poor Tederick down into an oily black netherkingdom where Zam
was queen and lorded over a civilization of angry "gnap"-style Smurfs, using an
electrified scepter and her bizarre feminine wiles.
Today's the last day of summer. Well, movie summer anyway. Ya
got the Spy Kids, ya got the Lara Croft.... can't imagine it's
going to be a fun day at the movies but leaving that aside, what a summer it's
been. A lot of pleasant surprises - like
Matrix,
Pirates,
Terminator and
Charlie's
Angels being as enjoyable as they were, when I expected vast fields of
suckage in all cases. I can't imagine we'll be seeing further adventures for
Terminator or Hulk or the Angels, but hopefully X2's decent bow will
lead to some more X's.
Can you believe we live in a world where $210 million is a
"decent bow" but not a "hit"? This is the year that movie accounting just went
gonzo for me. Finding Nemo's crested $300M, beating even Matrix,
and looks like it will remain the year's big fish, unless Return of the
King can pull out some major muscle of the likes even Two
Towers couldn't muster.
Ah yes. As we move through the second half of the year, all eyes
are slowly turning to only one thing: Return of the King. Everybody
involved can't stop gassing about how brilliant it is. I'm trying not to
listen. I am, however, reading the book right now, and gleefully anticipating
the Two Towers DVD next month, and then the grand shebang in November. I
think, as with last year, we're about to enter a five-month Lord of the
Rings love fest.
This is my Kingdom July 24 2003 - 11:10
p.m.
Tederick.com got completely redesigned in the last two hours. It
looks pretty much the same as its last version, but it takes quite a bit of
effort to achieve that kind of eerie resemblance.
You know what? I dig these
Order of
the Phoenix illustrations, even if this chick is a H/R shipper in the
worst way. Fortunately, I'm now fairly convinced that there won't be any
inbreeding in the trio at all. It would just be icky, y'know?
It just occured to me that Pirates - of which I speak
frequently, have you noticed? - is the only movie I've ever seen where a group
of men shout "huzzah!" repeatedly for several minutes.
I'm running a tad hot.
Pixels and Predation July 24 2003 - 12:03
p.m.
As I often do, I followed the buzz and found
Batman: Dead End, which many are talking about.
Well, it's just another fan film for me, albeit one that cost THIRTY
THOUSAND DAMNED DOLLARS... But then, if I'd put the Alien and the Predator
in Bone Daddy, it probably would have cost $30K too. But hey, if it gets
the guy a gig, more power to him. Me, I'm thinking $30K should really buy a
whole feature... or at least some rubber nipples.
And speaking of the alien: I finally have four aliens crawling
all over my TV, which is kind of nice in a disgusting,
there-are-bugs-everywhere sort of way.
A Pirate's Life For Me July 24 2003 -
2:32 a.m.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHH!!!
Last summer I was counting Clones screenings, and this
year, it's all about Pirates. That's two, mate, savvy?
Lex's Revenge July 23 2003 - 6:17
p.m.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if they do
Survivor All-Star next winter and Lex is on it,
SURVIV.ORg will re-open and smack its
bad self down all over the series. The series? I meant to say: the vengeance.
The buckets and buckets of vengeance.
Waiting July 23 2003 - 12:56
p.m.
Here it is, the perfect balm for the summer afternoon, a
gigantically epic no-holds-barred
IGN interview with Joss Whedon. Smokes!
Ironically, it dovetails nicely into my first Buffy
seasonal review, which is of course on Season Seven, which I just got
finished re-watching last week and am rather pleased with. I'm working on
further articles for the rest of the seasons, in no particular order.
Downsides July 22 2003 - 11:29
p.m.
I fucking hate opening DVDs. FUCK! Who invented this security
seal crap?!
I no longer have enough shelf space for DVDs.
This is all right. Actually I just read through the whole
thing and think it's the spiffiest piece of cyber-writing in the history of all
mankind.
Good news: Quidditch in Prisoner of Azkaban after all, in
spite of the apparent lack of Cho soon-gonna-be-Harry's-gal Chang and Oliver
hottiest-boy-ever Wood. Quidditch in the rain. Grim defeat! Yay me.
Episode III, they say, is going to be "shocking."
Paths of the Dead July 22 2003 - 4:49
p.m.
Today's post has music:
Today was Spendapalooza. What is Spendapalooza, you ask?
Spendapalooza is that wonderful day when, instead of receiving salary bonuses
for a lengthy job well done,
the Bearshark partnership chooses instead to use the company card to buy DVDs.
So into the DVD Wave we walked, and our discount cards were laid upon the
table, and we dideth wander throughout the holy store, amassing DVDs, which
were then most utterly purchased.
And so, my goal of outnumbering Chris gets a healthy boost,
which you can read all about in my bursting-at-the-seams
DVD
profile. The truly horrid thing is that I was only scratching the surface
of my ache. But I think today's expenditures represent an appropriately wide
selection of the good, the bad and the utterly crappy. And so, I am sated.
(I am, however, very disappointed that I only bought 20 and not
21. I was obviously not thinking clearly. I also didn't buy Crocodile
Dundee, mostly cuz they didn't have it, which was possibly the chaotic
butterfly effect that resulted in the poor numerology.)
This afternoon, Don Gorber threw a cherry at me and then sent me
to a SARS-infested clinic to drop off his mail, putting my life and the lives
of my loved ones in great danger. What does this prove?
I HAVE A NEW HERO.
The Don Gorber testimonial, 2003:
Bushy moustache, Laconic manner, How I wish To see
your day planner.
So...... yeah. I spent an amazing weekend at Matt and Leah's
cottage but I wrote so voluminously of that weekend in my journal, that I
didn't really have anything left to contribute here at Tederick.com. That's why
the radio silence.
Slaving away on Deluge before I start my neighbour movie.
I've got quite a few neato things worked out already, but I don't know where
any of it is going. But then, I challenge you to produce an experimental
filmmaker who ever does.
I wanna see Pirates of the Caribbean again. I'm beginning
to think it's the best movie ever. Or certainly the piratest.
But I've got all these DVDs to watch....!
Still kickin'... July 22 2003 - 4:24
p.m.
It's alive.... it's alive....!
Why? July 18 2003 - 10:56
a.m.
I just visited the Moore action figure web site.... they've shut
down the Buffy and Angel lines! No Darla! No Vamp Willow! No nuthin' for
nobody!!!
There isn't a sad-face sad enough to express Matt.
The good news (and it is very good) is that Cinequest will still
release Dark Willow as an online exclusive (with expensive
shipping...!), which looks like it'll be the last Buffy figure ever. So
I guess Will really did succeed in destroying the world, huh?
Okay, how about some more good news: Robert Rodriguez, who is
rapidly becoming my hero, has two movies coming out in the next two months:
Spy Kids 3D next week, and Once Upon a Time in Mexico on
September 12th, whose kickass trailer is
right here. What does this guy eat?!
One Minute Till Glory July 17 2003 - 1:56
p.m.
Wanna be hap-hap-happy like me? Or at least hypermotivated like
me? You need Meredith Dault's One Minute Film Festival. That idea, as
I've mentioned a couple of times here at Tederick.com, is to create a 60-second
movie about neighbours, by September 2nd.
I've about half finished mine, and am looking forward to sharing
it around, but there's work yet to be done.
Okay yeah, the weekend was fun with the not going to see
Pirates of the Caribbean and writing a script instead, but FUCK,
Pirates of the
Caribbean is a great movie and I wish I'd seen it a week ago.
Woweeeeeeeee!!
Utter, irreconcilable agony July 16 2003
- 11:01 a.m.
The Survivor thing was bad enough but this is just a slap in my
Canadian face: Starwars.com is giving away a free trip to Sydney to tour the
Episode III sets.... to Americans only. And it's a fucking ESSAY CONTEST
god dammit. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Illusions against a Burninator? Silly, silly British
man. July 14 2003 - 11:05 p.m.
House has yet to catch fire again = good.
Here's where it's at: the Sweetener screening was great,
and I think the Bone Daddy trailer was fairly well-received. It gives
away one of my two favourite lines, but hey, its predecessor gave 'em both away
so I guess that's an improvement. John Marriot asked the pertinent question,
which was: "did you actually make that movie, or do you just like making
trailers?" And really, the answer is "yes" and "yes." Woulda should coulda,
y'know?
On Saturday night, I signed a contract (!) with Meredith to do
my neighbour movie for September 2nd. Fortunately the weekend has been rife
with subject matter and I am crafting something that I think will be called
"Sensitivity." The real issue, of course, is that most people who do this will
automatically default to some sort of voyeuristic idea - which was my initial
idea, as well. So it'll be interesting to see how many are non-voyeuristic in
nature, and how many are just long-lens shots of a co-ed taking her top off,
with squelching sounds in the audio track.
My Matrix short, on the other hand, stalled like a mo-fo in the
past month but I started working on it again briefly this afternoon. After some
promising initial work it now looks like my computer doesn't have enough ass on
it to render the complicated fuck-arounds I'm doing with some of the shots, so
it might be back to square one. But it will either be called "Drainage" or
"Deluge," that much is certain.
I have not been writing my feature but I'm getting over
the whole Subculture thing and back into Night. Will start again
in five minutes.
Rick McCallum broke my heart today by revealing that Episode III
will probably be the shortest of all the Star Wars movies. Short is not
the way I want things to go in the final installment. In fact, I'd be quite
pleased if Episode III suffered from massive, massive pacing problems, as long
as I get to sit and watch Star Wars for just a little bit longer as a
consequence. But hey, that's just me.
I'm into Season Seven of The X Files. I'm in a major,
major Order of the Phoenix withdrawal. The soccer team looks to be on
the outs. I don't know what's happening with Goldilocks. My apartment no
longer smells like cookies. I continue to be astonished by how good my new toys
are. We're now five (six, Lise?) episodes into My So-Called Life and
enjoying ourselves thoroughly. I've been listening to Road to Perdition
virtually nonstop and finally had the sense to order the Secret Garden
score from Amazon. I still don't have the R.
Here's a great shot of me and Cabot shootin' the shit.
Here's, I think, the cutest picture ever taken of Brandy
Hamilton.
Both were taken by Meredith, who is, and ever shall be, a
genius.
And that's where it's at.
Mists of dawn July 13 2003 - 4:48
a.m.
So I'm trying to sleep after Daniel and Felix's party. It's
about four in the morning, I've been tossing and turning for an hour. And I'm
noticing what I initially take to be the growing smell of cookies - and I'm
thinking to myself, who bakes cookies at four o'clock in the morning?
Then the smoke detector goes off downstairs. Not cookies. I dash
downstairs and pound on the neighbours' door, but no response from inside
beyond the omnipresent "eeee-eeee-eeee-eeee-eeee-eeee." Through some piece of
happenstance the door is unlocked and I dash inside, and find the oven on,
burning a pair of mini-pizzas to a cinder. Neighbour wakes up, apologizes
profusely, he's as confused as I am. But suffice it to say, I won't be sleeping
any time soon.... not least because my apartment still really smells like
cookies.
Yes, I realize it's quite a comment on me that the first thing I
thought to do at the end of this crisis was update Tederick.com.
But what
can I say, it calmed me down....
If I'd only had my video camera here, and somehow had the
presence of mind to tape all this, it would have been a perfect 1-minute
Neighbour Movie.
I don't sleep on a bed of bones July 12
2003 - 2:13 p.m.
NOW I am officially having a weekend. I am having an
amazing day in spite of persistent wimpy rain (rain that don't wanna really
rain) and missed yoga (much sleeping-in of me lately). I was going to see
Pirates of the Carribean, but in reading The Middle Stories as my
post-Order comedown I became sufficiently excited en route to Queen
& John that I grabbed a table at the Second Cup and began frantically
scribbling a script for Goldilocks. Since it's clear that we won't be
FORPing this project any time soon I'm just going to ahead and do my own daft
little interpretation as a project of my own. Four characters, one location,
how can I not get this done before the end of August? I'll pass it around at
the party tonight and see what shakes loose. It's more than a little indebted
to "Restless" but we all knew that was coming - the whole "it's so bright out
there" thing has been obsessing me for two months, egged along significantly by
that weird day three weeks ago when I went out, reading Order, and found
it so hot and overexposedly bright, with all the passers-by drifting along with
their noses stuck in the same yellow book.
After the write-a-rama I went Snailwise and SHA-ZAM: six new
basic figures and two Unleashed, probably the biggest single expenditure on
toys of the whole darned year. But I care not, for I am gleeful and disposed to
enjoy myself.
And I would not be exaggerating if I were to state that these
are among the best toys I've ever seen. The Throne Room Duel Luke n' Vader are
the only disappointments, the rest of the basics being absolutely astonishing -
but clear the way, cuz they've got nothing on the Unleashed. Standing side by
side, Unleashed Obi-Wan and Luke are nothing short of gobsmackingly cool. I
can't believe the improvement in this line over the past year. This suckers are
art, man.
And BTW: I now have 398 basic figures. Wonder what 400 will
be?
Now I shall finish the Bone Daddy trailer for tomorrow
night's screening, and then possibly purchase alcohol and/or snack
products.
Noteworthy: I've been making a great number of subway errors
lately - getting on the wrong train, going upstairs when I should be going
downstairs. Apparently, I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Beyond the Veil July 11 2003 - 7:50
p.m.
I've finally completed my Lego Hogwarts - after over a year of
not realizing I was missing a crucial set. Yep, the Philosopher's Stone maze is
now complete with the addition of Fluffy and the Devil's Snare. Of course, at
some point I'll do a Potions Challenge out of sheer indignation, but for now,
meh.
It's been a long week. Longer than most cuz I didn't really have
much of a weekend.... but it's all gonna change now, boy howdy. I've got
Order of the Phoenix to finish, atmospheric music to download, any
number of short film projects I've been tricked into working on, and a lovely
Brian Froud book I picked up this week at
Golden City - hey
look, the domain is working!
I'm
telling ya, when your service provider goes kerflooey, nothing's right in the
world.
Fill in the blanks July 10 2003 - 7:28
p.m.
Just did a mental calculation and realized that if I keep
waiting for Paramount to release the DVDs of these flicks before I release the
reviews, I'll have these suckers sitting around till halfway to doomsday. So
here's Star Trek V: The Final
Frontier, Star
Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country,
Star Trek: Generations and
Star Trek: First Contact.
Which means, I think, that I'm done with the movies and only have to worry
about finishing up four more seasons of DS9 and then some pesky
Voyager dealin's.
To the max July 10 2003 - 2:14
p.m.
I bear word on the Terminator 2 "Extreme Edition" DVD. It
is EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME!!! Well, yeah. It's pretty loaded - it's
taken me about six hours to get through the 2 1/2 hour feature, with two text
commentaries, one audio commentary, and a hotlinked video supplement feature,
all running at once. There's even a three minute video segment that I
affectionately call "An Excrutiatingly Private Detailing of the Puberty of
Edward Furlong." To the extreme!!!
When I posted the link to the logo alphabet game the other day,
I did about ten minutes work on it and then went to bed. Little did I expect it
to become a sick cult among so many Tederick.com readers. But hey, chacun son
gout as they say.
Good news, Whedonphiles: Buffy Season 5 and the complete
edition of Firefly are going to be hitting disk on December 9, just in
time for Christmas. I'm forever disappointing that Fox still hasn't stepped up
the Buffy release schedule, but I'm looking forward to pulling on a pair
of really tight pants and watching Firefly.
Violence ensues... July 8 2003 - 11:19
p.m.
I have fucking had it with fucking Silver City audiences.
HAD IT. Three of the last four films I have seen in theatres have all
been significantly marred by unctuous snotrag kids. (Yes, strap on the
crotchet-o-meter cuz I'm going for the gold.) Tonight it was a flock of
pathetic Britney wannabes who didn't stop giggling through the whole flick,
accompanied by four hosers who snuck into the fire exit to smoke a joint at the
beginning of Act III. I'm past the point of complaining to the management and
moving rapidly towards the liberal use of strangulation. Or possibly I'll just
start attending films armed with a nice aluminum baseball bat? For
demonstration purposes only, of course. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. (Yes,
strap on the profane-o-meter cuz my grandparents are all dead and anyone else
reading this site oughta know how I speak by now!!!!)
Cleansing breath. In.... out.
Yeah, I saw Terminator 3 tonight. Wasn't the suck-fest I
was anticipating but there were problems. You can read all about it in
my somewhat-spoilerish review.
Because I always go for the gusto with this sort of thing, I've also reviewed
The Terminator and
Terminator 2: Judgment
Day, which are, of course, classics in ways T3 will never manage
to be. And hey, it only took me 90 minutes to write all three!
Not bragging, but: I deposited the single biggest cheque I've
ever seen today. Which is good. In the "not so good," we've got the lack of any
other such cheques, for the rest of ever.
Evil Sister July 8 2003 - 10:04
a.m.
Most people don't know this, but Tederick has a sister named
Jederick. However, Tederick.com does not have a sister site called
Jederick.com, mostly because Jederick.com is apparently the nexus for evil in
the universe. Shame!
To cleanse the palete, one might visit
couleurcafe.org with
one's sound turned up and do not skip the intro. It's the fun part. It's
a dose of summer right in your dim computer terminal!
Time check: Jim Cameron still thinks he's making Alien
5.
Nostalgia July 7 2003 - 11:55
p.m.
The first My So-Called Life evening was nicely capped by
the weird coincidence of running into Dana Borcea on the street - yet another
recent example of "Matt's high school years visit Matt's post-university
sprawl." Wacky.
Unnatural July 7 2003 - 10:43 a.m.
Yeah, the dates have been screwed up for days. It happens.
Anyways: I had the McGriddle today. And all I can say is that God did not mean
for these things to exist. Which isn't to say they aren't good, just that
they're very, very "ain't right," like a moose with a chicken growing out of
its ass. (Actually quite literally, when you think about it.)
What Else? July 6 2003 - 10:43
p.m.
I think if Toronto were beset by a viral apocalypse (SARS?) and
I woke up 28 days later and found myself alone and naked in the city, I
would
Stay naked.
Break into one of those goth/medieval armour stores and steal
a couple of broadswords, instead of doing the clichéd baseball bat
thing.
Live off the fat of the land in beautiful Penetanguishene,
Ontario.
Publish the "gay" list, and then stop updating
Tederick.com.
But, no viral apocalypse today, just domain apocalypses and
other minutiae. So here's a review of 28 Days Later. Now that's a
segue!
I swear to god, Phillip Seymour Hoffman falling off a stack of
mattresses is just about the funniest thing I've ever seen.
Oh, that's what you mean. Barq's has BITE. July 4 2003 - 10:53 p.m.
Guess who chugged half a can of Barq's today before he was told
that it contained caffeine?
Yup it can only be one person, or this story isn't funny: Mark!
The ten year caffeine ban goes down in a ball of flames! It was like watching a
cargo plane full of elephants and dynamite crash land in the Bolivian jungle.
Actually it wasn't like much of anything so much as a hummingbird in flight.
Actually there was no noticeable effect at all, but I doubt he'll sleep well
until Labour Day.
Do you know I've known Jody Becker for more than half my life?
This shocking realization was arrived at tonight at a little NT Posse reunion,
along with many other strange revelations about how little I used to weigh, how
strikingly handsome Steve Gibson is, and how I very nearly forgot all about the
Geek Club and the Ultimate Bowler.
Because bad news comes in threes: BARRY WHITE IS DEAD!! As with
Peck and Hepburn it doesn't exactly fall under the supremely shocking, but it
still sucks. Actually the only shocking part was learning that he was only 58 -
I mean honestly, the dude looked like he'd swallowed an 80-year-old.
The employees of Best Buy here in T.O. really are getting
stupider by the day. I thought it was just a spring thing.
Apparently I've been doing the sleepworking thing again because
playing at this year's Fringe Festival is a little play called Star Wars
Survivor. So I guess I'll have to go see that, yeah?
And finally, because I like to leave these things on as
depressing a note as I can, today I witnessed my first tangible proof that the
new anti-suicide measures that have befouled the Bloor Viadact are as pointless
as they are ugly: I crossed the Overlea bridge only a couple of minutes after
someone jumped off it.
Nameless July 3 2003 - 10:31
p.m.
I really, really, really, really hate parsley. I mean, the stuff
literally makes me gag. I only point this out because I seem to be entirely
alone in this. In fact, Nigella Lawson would be my ideal female if it weren't
for the fact that she frickin' adores the leafy trash.
On the other hand, there is no single exquisite sin greater in
this life than eating raw puff pastry. It'll kill you quicker than cancer so
really, only a bite or two is reasonable, but whoa - that's good
eatin'.
Okay, why all the food talk, Matt? Cuz I just kicked the shit
out of a tasty little Naked Chef dish that was so freaking complicated it
actually had its own sauce. I haven't been cooking in a very long while
but tonight was just jim-dandy.
Now I've just gotta do the several hours' work I was supposed to
do this afternoon before the catastrophe hit, and all will be right in the
heavens and on earth.
Outstanding July 3 2003 - 7:21
p.m.
There's nothing like accompanying the theme from S.W.A.T.
on your didgeridoo in the middle of a stressful work day.
Eat the Marmalade and Run July 3 2003 -
12:33 p.m.
I have now been dodging near-daily calls from my dentist for
close to three months. The more this woman calls, the more resolutely glad for
my call display I become. Surely the dentistry industry cannot be in such
mediocre shape that my $140 cleaning will tip the scales?
I've always subscribed to a very simple philosophy: when someone
tells me that I look like I'm suffering from a horrible skin condition, it's
time to cut my hair.
I have changed my mind about something significant: I am now
pro- Luna Lovegood.
Tenderness July 2 2003 - 12:06
a.m.
I'm sorry, it just makes me giggle incessantly:
Maybe if Angela had packed that kind of heat they never would
have cancelled her show....
Tithonus July 1 2003 - 8:35
p.m.
Canada Day party at Lise's was all good. Nice just to sit out on
the deck and chat. Unfortunately, someone chose to once again try to start the
Phantom Menace argument with me, like I'm some goddamned party trick to
be wheeled out at situationally-appropriate points in any mass gathering. It's
the sort of thing that almost has me writing a lengthy weblog apology for ever
professing to like Star Wars in the first place - but then I remember myself,
and choose instead to write I'M SORRY YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID. Which doesn't,
I admit, particularly address the issue, but it does nicely approximate the
maturity level involved. "My movie's better than your movie!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
(Yes, the smiley is green now. I can't even specifically figure
why it wasn't green before...)
Today's Canada Day treat here at ol' Tederick.com is a real
relic of the good old days: See Like Mike Sunglasses has been posted in the
Tederick.com Theatre! This is of course a Dave Tebby
film, not a Matt Brown film, although I appear in the ad and act all crazy, so
it's really indistinguishable from my own work. This is also an outstanding
example of why I often say "I used to look like a heroin addict." What did I
weigh, like a hundred and fifty-five pounds?! It's also the only footage of me
in front of a cyclorama known to exist, so it's of value to scholars.
Forest full of giant spiders July 1 2003
- 12:13 p.m.
Y'know, every single day that has gone by since I finished
shooting Bone Daddy 2 I've become increasingly convinced that every
individual facet of the production is absolutely, utterly, irrevocably
balls-to-the-wall wrong. Oops! I could not possibly have misapprehended the
purpose, nature and style of this project to a greater degree than I have done.
If I had the means (and, let's face it, the inclination) I'd scrap the whole
thing and start over.... god, even writing that sentence makes me tired.
So filming started on Episode III yesterday, and as a lovely
little treat in the mid-afternoon, we got our first glimpse of a much more
Vaderized (and Hamillized) Anakin. It filled me with goofy glee. Now where's my
Obi-Wan?
