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The chocolate factory where I worked summers during university was called Beta Brands, and like many beneficiaries of nepotism, I spent one of my rotations there with absolutely nothing to do — so I invented the Beta Brands Shuffle. The…
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A Decade of Not Trying
a program of work by Matt Brown
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Review: SPIDER-MAN 3
The Best Bad Movie Ever Made Lookit: making movies is hard, man. You have to be on top of so many things. You have to have a clear vision, and you need to carry it out. You need to construct…
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Review: THE GREEN HORNET
Kevin Smith must be spinning in his grave
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Review: AVATAR
The dreams of Iron Jim There’s a man who can’t walk, but in his dreams he can stride out into an alien wilderness and run. The man is Jim Cameron, and if he is known to be a tyrant, perhaps…
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Review: HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE
The Ghost Story I’ve given the Harry Potter films an easy ride over the years. Flat raves for the Columbus films (stylistically, they hew closest to the spirit of their respective novels). Warm enthusiasm for films 3 and 5, each sharply told…
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Review: TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
Are you man enough?
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Review: STAR TREK
And on we go. So here we are, at last. Honestly, the (latent? dormant? something) Trekkie in me – the one who, like umpteen million others, found Trek when he was a disenfranchised, too-cerebral adolescent – never thought the Powers…
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The Vivarium of Dr. Tesseract
Dr. Tesseract enters the vivarium. We could imagine that he is Daniel Cockburn, had Daniel never given up cocaine (nor never not started it in the first place), and after 15 further years of apathetic days and earthshaking night terrors.…
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Review: TRANSFORMERS
Michael Bay and the art of not caring